dapper dan - ProfilesArchive

About Me

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I Aim To Misbehave. Just like Steven Seagal, "I am hoping that I can be known as a great writer and actor some day, rather than a sex symbol." I'm an artist when I have to be. I'm sly and crass and yet generally unassuming. I like to document adventures. I have a wicked mighty dog and a mightily wicked dog. I can throw a shoe like a Stinger. That's good. I'm freaked out by leeches--altho I've never seen one in/on the flesh. I'm annoyed easily. I hate pancakes. I pick my nose when I drive....and when it needs it. I'm thinking about going back to school to rule the art classes. I really don't have anything better to do. I sure as hell am not going to grow up. I like living where I can hear the train rumble. I hate incorrect use of punctuation, especially misplaced/unneccessary apostrophes and quotation marks. I'm trying to figure out a violin. It's not cooperating. I never wear anything other than neutral (non)colors and have had the same frayed ponytail for 20 years. I enjoy getting crunk and then taking online IQ tests. I'm lazy. I'll finish this later.

My Interests

I also enjoy making sweet money. And then spending it on cool pants. I hate flip flops. I don't eat anything with feet. I rate bars by their bathrooms. 10 points are automatically deducted for restroom attendants, puddles and stank. Karma, Beauty, Simplicity, Beer in a can, Oskar, Truth, Whimsy,The Lakeview Lounge, A lakeview cabin, A poolview deck, Kicking tomorrow, Creativitythoughmayhem...or viceversa?, Subtle thoughtfulness, Breaking egos, Wit, Satisfaction, Club A

I'd like to meet:

Music:

Morphine, Sinatra, QOTSA, Holiday, top40 trash, OLD Jane's Addiction, Pixies, Outkast, Rolling stones, early 90s rock. Beauty Pill, The Eels, Jurassic5, AC/DC, BusBus, Tom Jones, Tribe Called Quest, Foo Fighters, Talking Heads, Beastie Boys pre 2000, Van Halen pre Hagar. Jeff Buckley, Portishead, Snow Patrol. Franz Ferdinand.That whole Abba thing was a sick, sick joke.

Movies:

The Jerk, dumb and Dumber, LOTR trilogy, Charade, anything Christopher Guest, Elf, Evil Dead2, Christmas Vacation, Exorcist3, Orgasmo, Cannibal the Musical, Brotherhood of the wolf, Black belt Jones, KillBill, 2 of the Kevin Smith legacy, The Pink Panther (original), Strange Brew. The original Star Wars trilogy - not the current abortion. Raising Arizona.

Television:

The Office. The Simpsons. Lost. My Name is Earl. Family Guy. Old school cartoons like He-Man and GI-Joe and crap. Conan O'B. Days. SNL. Lawrence Welk. NFL. I miss the Galloping Gourmet and Hamster Time. And newly miss Firefly. Dammit.

Books:

Frommer's

Heroes:

bill cosby. He's made me so very, very happy.

My Blog

Not Necessarily the News

Keen Review/Riff III: Not Necessarily the Newshttp://goldhaber.org/blog/2007/09/05/keen-reviewriff-iii -not-necessarily-the-news/ "Prostitutes and gigolos are sexual professionals. Through h...
Posted by dapper dan on Fri, 07 Sep 2007 05:43:00 PST

Now Accepting Applications

Are you tired of putting off visits to Knoxville? Are you bored with your current, dead-end city? Act Now and Be Somebody! Interviews will be held during the next two weekends for the position of...
Posted by dapper dan on Sat, 17 Feb 2007 09:18:00 PST

tenuous grasp/footing

yep - on a limb here. Online at the home for the first in a week or so. An age. Backstory/grief abbr. : Workhorse PC crashes circa January 2006. Laptop fries December 2006. iMac blows January 2007. Sa...
Posted by dapper dan on Sat, 10 Feb 2007 09:18:00 PST

for those who i wanted to see this weekend....

I was a victim of a series of accidents,as are we all.Messages to unnamed individuals: Happy 21st to my alma mater; don't let that Ian grow any 'til I can see him; rock out with your clock out; my mac...
Posted by dapper dan on Sat, 03 Jun 2006 04:29:00 PST

dan libs

Had some formatting issues on some, but here you go. The 'thrown into' line worked out well for all.
Posted by dapper dan on Fri, 07 Apr 2006 01:09:00 PST

another day in the life

an actual submission to the 'paper'.... verbatim "Best Kept Secrets; Lipstick" Have you ever wish you could find a lipstick that could stay on all day without reapplying 3 or 4 times a day? Well...
Posted by dapper dan on Thu, 26 Jan 2006 01:14:00 PST

JANUARY 1. 2006.

NYE time again - journeying to midtenn for some alleged festivities tomorrow. As I know, assume -- HOPE, that everyone has a full calendar, I am proposing a new tradition for the day after. New Ye...
Posted by dapper dan on Sat, 31 Dec 2005 06:50:00 PST

cheap date for christmas

howdy dearies. As some of you may have heard, my hard drive of 4 years has crashed to China. I won't know its status for a week or two. I've begun going thru the process of going through countless un...
Posted by dapper dan on Wed, 14 Dec 2005 08:57:00 PST

Vol II and the rest (updated 11/23)

Vol II So, we went to the party. The whole get-go was pretty odd&I refused to drive, so Bobby drove my car and Todd sat behind me - next to the expiring and fragrant pumpkins. We were coo until we ...
Posted by dapper dan on Sun, 13 Nov 2005 04:58:00 PST

Last weekend, Vol. I

yeah. So, as my little myspace calendar suggested ages ago, last weekend was to consist of the Walkers' party, watching the game at a bar and seeing QOTSA for the 1st time, NIN for the 4th. Asked...
Posted by dapper dan on Sat, 05 Nov 2005 07:08:00 PST