My name is Tristan. I'm interested in Polaroid film and samurai movies. My mother is Cajun, and so I am a Cajun, but in Acadiana they think of me as a Jew. Cajuns are more similar to Jews than anyone notices. I live 1400 miles away from the Atchafalaya Basin, on the tip of an island. Although I can not swim and am frightened of the open sea, I am mostly interested in being surrounded by water. Athens, GA was confining, but in Brooklyn the seabirds fought with pigeons for scraps. Currently I can see the river from my living room: May I never be landlocked again.
I had no choice but to leave the swamp, and luckily I had the choice to leave the swamp. I want to go back there when it is time to die, but lately the thought of dying in some far away place has held its own charm. Like Magellan; embroiled in his unfinished quest, and ultimately done in by Filipino men. I really don't want to die in New York. That would be lame.
My own quest is to fall madly in love with someone worthy, who isn't only disinterested in me for my body. I sacrifice everything to stay with him, and we end up living out our days somewhere small, pretending to only be roommates and getting along really well with the spinsters. The older I get, the more this weird drive rises within me to pairbond and have "kids". I have the strongest Y-chromosome in humanity. In the lines of my Father's Fathers one girl is made for every twelve boys. I would make boys. Not that it matters. My nature forces me to look for another form of immortality.
Amy in Peril: An Exploitation Film
Uploaded by boyhoodbravery
Actually, my quest is to be a better person than the person I was the day before. The I Ching told me to serve the great man, and so in the absence of a Lord I am my own Liege and I lead and I follow. As Lord of Myself I have only the best interests of my vassals and the people at heart, and if you are of like mind then I hope some day we can all be retainers-in-arms. In the mean time I serve temporary Lords for cash and for periods not exceeding three months. I'll do anything for money cos I've done it all for free. This coin I then give to my true Lord and Master for his greater glory and the wealth of his people. Amen.
I'd like to meet:
Rich industrialists who want to help me channel my failed artistry into a blueprint for a new, kinder, comprehensively multicultural, global fascistic state.
but also possibly you.
Books:
I feel a perfect horror when I imagine that the woman I love and who has responded to my love could give herself to another regardless of me.// But have I still a choice?// If I love such a woman, even unto madness, shall I turn my back to her and lose everything for the sake of a bit of boastful strength? Shall I send a bullet through my brain? I have two ideals of woman. If I can not obtain the one that is noble and simple, the woman who will faithfully and truly share my life, well then I don't want anything halfway or lukewarm.// Then I would rather be subject to a woman without virtue, fidelity, or pity. Such a woman in her magnificent selfishness is likewise an ideal. If I am not permitted to enjoy the happiness of love, fully and wholly, I want to taste its pains and torments to the very dregs; I want to be maltreated and betrayed by the woman I love, and the more cruelly the better.// This, too, is a luxury.//- ///Leopold von Sacher-Masoch; 8 Dec. 1869****** *****Ah, a harsh evaluation, to be sure. True, most of the folks in the small town of Palomar shared this opinion, but how accurate a judgement was it? After all, the Zomba incident was only his eighty-seventh rejection from a woman he was in love with...//Well! As raconteur of this unfolding missive, I feel it is my duty to offer a less critical view...//The fact was, Tipin' Tipin' was indeed a great lover. It was just that nobody ever loved him back...//An Old Story, but a perennial one...//--Palomar "Sopa De Gran Pena" 1983***//It is in the thirties that we want friends. In the forties we know that they won't save us any more than love did.// --FSF
