Dr.Phil

I would like to shove a pineapple up Hitler's ass. Hello there. My name is Dr.Phil a.k.a. Phillip Calvin McGraw. I have my own T.V. show which is produced by Oprah. What a nice little lady she is! I often wonder what to do with my life and how I help others and give them useless advice in a Southern accent, (which no one happens to listen too...) My lovers are Chewbacca and Jabba the Beets. I love them. My favorite song is "What a Wookie." It reminds me of Chewbacca and his hair, which reminds me of my hair. What people don't know is that I am a hairyman. And yes, Southeners do have hair! I enjoy watching Dog the Bounty Hunter because he kicks ass. (I also think his wife is one hot tamle!) I enjoy spending time with my hoes Yogurt, Oompa Loopmas and cheese. Well anyway...this one time I was Rollerblading, and yes I rollerblade because it's good exercise. Anyway, I fell, only god knows why and my some skin came off so I gave it to Yogurt and he barbequed it. Boy was it good! I also enjoy shopping at Wal Mart and listening to the soooothing sounds of Kenny G's and Bill Clinton's saxaphone solos while streaking across my enemies house, Jenny Jones. And I also like to go surfing in the nude and dressing up as a women and painting my nails yellow with butts on them.
ANYWAY here's a little more about me and my life:
TELL ME ABOUT YOURSELF - The Survey
Name: Dr.Phil
Birthday: September 1, 1950
Birthplace: Vinita
Current Location: The computer smartass!
Eye Color: I think a sexy brown but I'm not sure!
Hair Color: I'm bald fool!
Height: 6'4
Right Handed or Left Handed: How the hell would I know?
Your Heritage: The South
The Shoes You Wore Today: none-we hick's don't believe in shoes...
Your Weakness: Hosting televison shows...
Your Fears: Oprah
Your Perfect Pizza: Squrriel
Goal You Would Like To Achieve This Year: Scoring with my mom...
Your Most Overused Phrase On an instant messenger: What in god's name is an Instant Messanger?
Thoughts First Waking Up: I wonder what bitches will complain on my show today...
Your Best Physical Feature: My hair
Your Bedtime: Anytime if you're Dr.Phil
Your Most Missed Memory: My penis...it's gone....Oprah cut it off because she found out I came out of the closet
Pepsi or Coke: Pepsi Whore!
MacDonalds or Burger King: Wendy's because of the fingers....
Single or Group Dates: Double ; ) The more the better honey! Double the pleasure!
Lipton Ice Tea or Nestea: Tea
Chocolate or Vanilla: I don't believe in them colors...
Cappuccino or Coffee: What the fuck is the difference!
Do you Smoke: No
Do you Swear: Hells mother fucker no
Do you Sing: In the shower... alone...which remeinds me of a story about me and friend and he dropped the....never mind....
Do you Shower Daily: Once a week ; )
Have you Been in Love: Yes with another man...does that count???
Do you want to go to College: No
Do you want to get Married: No
Do you belive in yourself: Never, only Oprah
Do you get Motion Sickness: No fool
Do you think you are Attractive: That's soo simple! I think I'm one sexy mother fucker!
Are you a Health Freak: Yes. I wrote a book on it fool!
Do you get along with your Parents: Yes and No
Do you like Thunderstorms: Dr.Phil gets scared...
Do you play an Instrument: Air stuff
In the past month have you Drank Alcohol: Yes. I have a problem!
In the past month have you Smoked: No
In the past month have you been on Drugs: No
In the past month have you gone on a Date: Yes. With Yogurt! Let me tell you! He sure knows how to have one hell of a time!...
In the past month have you gone to a Mall: Yes for a book signing ; )
In the past month have you eaten a box of Oreos: Yes. Oreos make me feel good about myself...
In the past month have you eaten Sushi: No gross...
In the past month have you been on Stage: Does my show count?
In the past month have you been Dumped: No
In the past month have you gone Skinny Dipping: ALL THE TIME! Everyone likes seeing Dr.Phil's naked body
In the past month have you Stolen Anything: Yes, I stole candy from my momma
Ever been Drunk: All the time...that's my other problem
Ever been called a Tease: Yes in High School
Ever been Beaten up: No...... Ok, I'm sorry I can't live with that lie...YES I HAVE! BE STRONG PHILLY, BE STRONG...
Ever Shoplifted: Yes
How do you want to Die: Lonely! No ones like me...I am emo!
What do you want to be when you Grow Up: Hell I have a job fool!
What country would you most like to Visit: Afagistan
In a Boy/Girl..
Favourite Eye Color: Gray
Favourite Hair Color: Gray
Short or Long Hair: No hair
Height: 6'4
Weight: 200
Best Clothing Style: Suits...she's my exact double except a womely version!
Number of Drugs I have taken: None
Number of CDs I own: One:My book on a disk
Number of Piercings: One on my nipple. It's hot, ladies come check it out!
Number of Tattoos: Yes one on my ass that has a picture of the devil
Number of things in my Past I Regret: My show
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I edited my profile with Thomas Myspace Editor V3.6 !