Classic Derek - ProfilesArchive

About Me

OK, theres not really much to tell here........I like to drink. Um........ I don't know if thats considered a hobby or not. Anything that sounds fun is alright with me. Although I hate these things. It's nearly impossible to describe yourself in just a few sentences. But here goes.... I'm sarcastic but humorous. I have alot of strong opinions on things and I am the type of person who isn't afraid to share them. I seem to lack that little filter that says "You shouldn't say that, someone might be offended.". I have two wonderful daughters from my last experiment called marriage. I love them very much. I am very open and honest. I don't hold anything back, weither it be my feelings, opinions or very bad jokes. I really like making people laugh. I have a really twisted and different sense of humor. Mostly comes out when I'm drinking..... but hey, who's not funnier when they're drunk? :) And of course.......... F**k Yea I love Cheesy Poofs. I'm still trying to figure What I'm gonna do with my life. I had a plan, but I recently received a diagnosis of MS. So now I am trying to figure out and re-evaluate my future. Unfortunately going out and jogging is not something I'm likely to do.... however I still love indoor activities. I often think of really weird random crap..... I have a very odd imagination...

My Interests

Check my About me...... Seriously, do it.

I'd like to meet:

Anyone who likes cripples, long walks in the rain......... Um, let's see..... Models who have a problem with nymphomania, Anyone who likes to party, and enjoying a smart-ass is a must.

Music:

Whatever...I really don't discriminate. I will listen to just about everything. Just as long as it's listenable.

Movies:

I've always wanted to see "Fried Green Tomatoes" but just haven't found the time.

Television:

Aqua Teen Hunger Force, Family Guy, Futurama, or just about anything on [Adult Swim] and of course .... The Simpsons, and the holy grail of all shows.......... South Park.

Books:

I fixed my shit BITCHES!!! Myspace Contact Tables

Heroes:

Captain Hero. And maybe Batman......
I am Master Shake from Aqua Teen Hunger Force!!
Which Aqua Teen Hunger Force character are you??

My Blog

This Is From A Strictly Mathematical Viewpoint.

It goes like this. What Makes 100%? What does it mean to give more than 100%? And we have all been to business meetings where some asshole wants you to give more than 100%. Or watched Maury Povich, an...
Posted by Classic Derek on Tue, 11 Sep 2007 11:53:00 PST

Stupidity is on sale for $7,500

One thing the Chinese have never grasped, is that just because you can eat something, doesn't necessarily mean that you should The same concept applies to us here in America, only in regards to our li...
Posted by Classic Derek on Fri, 07 Sep 2007 12:36:00 PST

You can thank Brittney Spears for this one.....

Alright, so maybe this blog is going to hit some of you the wrong way... and in some ways, I hope it does. I'm trying to save you A LOT of headache!WHY IS EVERYBODY UNDER 25 GETTING MARRIED?!!!?!?WHY ...
Posted by Classic Derek on Tue, 28 Aug 2007 01:37:00 PST

So What’s This Signify, Mr Freud?

So What's This Signify, Mr Freud? Don't we all wish we could sometimes control our dreams a little more? Have ones we enjoyed make a repeat performance. Send those tearjerkers away so they're never s...
Posted by Classic Derek on Thu, 09 Aug 2007 06:53:00 PST

Reality Check

Reality Check. A new survey shows that the more female you are physically, the harder it is to be taken seriously in business. For example, women with very large breasts have a harder time being prom...
Posted by Classic Derek on Wed, 18 Jul 2007 02:01:00 PST

Rants...

Method Number 2,395 To Immediately Piss Me Off For The Rest Of The Fucking Day. Spend as mush time looking over the fucking menu board at McDoanlds as you would picking out a life insurance policy. S...
Posted by Classic Derek on Wed, 13 Jun 2007 03:28:00 PST

Bad ways to die...

There's certain ways that people when they bite it and they show it on the news... you laugh. Like who gets killed by bees?! Anytime they come on the news like, "A man in Austin was killed by bees." ...
Posted by Classic Derek on Tue, 12 Jun 2007 01:27:00 PST

Tips for life...

Wear sunscreen. If I could offer you only one tip for the future, sunscreen would be it. The long term benefits of sunscreen have been proved by scientists, whereas the rest of my advice has no basis ...
Posted by Classic Derek on Mon, 11 Jun 2007 01:27:00 PST

If they can do it......

Contending that women have more options than men do in the event of an unintended pregnancy, men's rights activists are mounting a long shot legal campaign aimed at giving them the chance to opt out o...
Posted by Classic Derek on Mon, 11 Jun 2007 11:30:00 PST

Do You, Pole-Smoker, take this Pole-Smoker...

So the Massachusetts' Supreme Judicial Court upheld a ruling today that gays should have the right to marry in the state of Massachusetts. This will of course lead to many a heated moments as the beer...
Posted by Classic Derek on Mon, 11 Jun 2007 12:24:00 PST