The Turkey Brothers

The Turkey Brothers are proud to be considered the least hardest working band in Coatbridge, if not the world. Accumulating more band members than actual songs in their near 20 year existance the TB's have, without apology or shame, remained steadfastly unevolved both musically and intellectually throughout this period, not for them that mythical fourth chord or self-destructive middle-eight.Many Turkeys have come and sadly some have now gone but the constants through the years remain a hard-core lack of musical ability and direction, fused with an unholy appetite for alcohol. To this day it's this unquenchable thirst and healthy disrespect for the music which ensures the Turkeys spirit lives on.Songs which have actually been completed emote a distinct West of Scotland 'it's all bollocks really' attitude within their lyrics, as some of the titles would suggest. It all started with Bad Day at Coatbridge Baths (jumped in and I couldn't swim) and progressed to the live set crowd pleaser I'm A Big Fanny, Shereen Nanjiani. Other notable titles (if not songs) include Who will love my kidneys, She Sells Shell Suits, Tumble Dryer Baby, Naked with a Chainsaw, Spiderman Woke Up In My Back Garden With a Hangover, Sex in a Denim Shirt and many, but not that many, more.. The band have actually had the brass neck to play live on a few occassions and and all free gigs performed to date have been sell outs.Reviews of the band have also ranged wildly, from the lows of a famous Glasgow reherseal studio owner telling the Turkeys "In my time Ive seen and heard the best...and yous're definitely the worst band ever. And if you don't leave now I'm phoning the polis" to the highs of a (somewhat ironic) joint 'single of the week' award in the prestigious List magazine. It must be said, however, that the review by said studio owner was quite early in the life of the Turkeys, when there were more band members carrying beer than instruments. Also, in the spirit of fairness, it must be pointed out that the folks at the List were most probably drunk when dolling out their award in what was obviously a quiet week for singles.If you really want to know more about the band...you're probably from Coatbridge and related to the TB's or alternatively you never had any musical inclinations whatsover but you do have a vague recollection of being drunk and being in a band at some point in your life. In which case 'yes' it probably was us.