Mr. Awesome profile picture

Mr. Awesome

I am here for Dating, Serious Relationships, Friends and Networking

About Me

As soon as I figure out how to condense myself into a couple of sentences that fit on a myspace profile I promise you I'll let you know.Yeah, that's right, I'm taking the "I'm too cool for the internet" approach on this part of my profile.

My Interests

Writing, Observing Humanity, World Politics, Sociology, Acting, Astrology (ARIES! THAT MEANS I'LL BURN YOU!) Concerts, Taking a Beating for Rock and Roll, Pretending I know how to Cook, Rambling, Random Adventure, Your Fat Sweet Mama, Repetitive Counting, Drawing Crude and Stupid Pictures, Free-Style Stream of Consciousness Bullshitting, Wasting time on This Box, My Truck, Scheming, Plotting, Righteous Political Outrage, Wasting Your Time With This Profile, Driving, Chasing Crazy People Around with Bottles of Pills, Sweet Talking Restaurant Owners, Promising them My Love and Undying Affection in Exchange for Money

I'd like to meet:

Anyone in New Mexico who has a cure for boredomPeople who want to start a band.. Or at least play instruments while I screamObsessive stalker types, winos, people with severe psychiatric disturbances, restaurant owners who want to buy shit from me, drinkin' buddies (not limited exclusively to winos). People who think I'm some sort of prophet and would be willing to follow me into some remote desert compound where I would make them do some really creepy weird shit to prove their allegience to me and would be willing to man the machine guns when the feds come for the Waco-Style standoff.Women who aren't hotrribly put off by all of this. (I can hear it now, "He said he was a total jack off and that he wanted people to stalk him. But it was only after I saw the picture of him feeding whiskey to a goat on his myspace page that I knew I was in love".. Yeah your dad's gonna love me)

Music:

Social Distortion, Bad Religion, Youth Brigade, Pistol Grip, Blood for Blood, The Bruisers, Black Halos, Turbo AC's, Supersuckers, Nashville Pussy, Godspeed you Black emperor!, Townes Van Zandt, Johnny Cash, Bastard Sons of Johnny Cash, Agent Orange, Gogol Bordello, Guns and Roses, AC/DC, Anti-Heros, Misfits, In Flames, The Belgraves, Fear, The Germs, Dead Kennedys, Motorhead, Rammstein, Chaos UK, The Pogues/Shane MacGowan, The Exploited, Wesley Willis, Sick of it All, Agnostic Front, Big Bad Bollocks, TSOL, Rolling Stones, Pantera, Murder City Devils, Local H, Mondo Generator, Sloth, Oxymoron, Anti Nowhere League, The Unseen, The Pist, Hank Williams, Merle Haggard, D Generation, Rockland Eagles, The Ramones, B Movie Rats, Pennywise, Knocked out Stiffs, The Bulemics, Lower Class Brats, Andrew WK, Hank III, Retaliator, Chaos UK, Charlie Robison, Ramallah, Sinners and Saints, Hangdogs, Forced Reality, Beerzone,

Movies:

Bill and Ted's Excellent Adventure, Bill and Ted's Bogus Journey, The Lost Weekend, Leaving Las Vegas, Dead Man Walking, Fight Club, Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas, Jesus's Son, Shakes The Clown, Wag the Dog, White Man's Burden, Mad City, Sweet and Lowdown, Rambo, Donnie Brasco, Carlito's Way, Bronx Tale, Born on the 4th of July, Casualties of War, Black Sheep, Run Ronnie Run, Bowling for Columbine, Roger and Me, Wayne's World, Taxi Driver, Billy Madison, The Toxic Avenger Series, The Station Agent, School of Rock, Another State of Mind, Decline of Western Civilization, If I should fall from Grace with God (The Shane MacGowan Story), The Daddy of Rock and Roll (The Wesley Willis Story), GG Allin Hated in the Nation, Full Metal Jacket, American Beauty, In the Company of Men, Beavis and Butthead Do America, The Hurricane, Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas, Where the Buffalo Roam, American Psycho, Permanent Midnight, Requiem for a Dream, Dead Man Walking, Super Troopers, Ninja Bachelor Party (best movie ever), Bob Roberts, Suburbia (the original), Natural Born Killers, Stupid ass Martin Lawrence Movies, Ali, Pump up the Volume, Little Nicky, All 6 Rocky Movies,American Beauty, And that show where the kid fucks the pie, that shit was hilarious, Also the show where the kid who fucks the pie marries the chick from band camp.

Television:

House, Colbert Report, Mr. Show, Cheers, All in the Family, The Simpsons, Family Guy, King of the Hill, The Daily Show, Beavis and Butthead, Insomniac with Dave Attell, Looney Tunes, South Park and Law and Order once in a great grand while

Books:

Kingdom of Fear, Hell's Angels (both by Hunter S. Thompson) Survivor, Choke (both by Chuck Palahiniuk), The Redneck Manifesto, 1984, Brave New World, Animal Farm (all of course by Orwell), McCarthy's Bar (McCarthy), Travels with Charlie(steinbeck), The Most Beautiful Woman in Town (Bukowski), Felicia's Journey (some Irish Woman I forget), The Autobiography of Johnny Cash, Deer Hunting With Jesus by Joe Bageant (www.joebageant.com, fucking trust me), The Modern Drunkard's Guide To Drinking

Heroes:

George W. Bush, for being dumb, lazy, sadistic, mentally unstable, incompetent, and completely unqualified and still managing to land the most important job in the world and convince a majority of the population that he's doing a good job when he manages to fuck up every aspect of it.My cat, for doing nothing but laying on her ass all day and still getting free food and rent out of me.Gunnery Sargeant Hartman from Full Metal Jacket for reminding us of the gentle things in life.And my dearest friend Zach, who manages to keep up a "Secret Lifestyle" with the entire Texas State University Boys Theatre Team completely unbeknownst to his girlfriend Vanessa.Samuel L. Jackson for reminding us that we're all motherfuckersHouse for taking a lot of Vicodin and telling all the other Doctors to go to hellMyself for not dying, flying in the face of all scientific reason.

My Blog

The Story of the Two Most Awesome Guys Who Ever Lived

All you would have to do is change names and places and Henry Rollins would be talking about Zach and I   http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=N9vtAg1CIEc http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tr5CVSK2_mo &nb...
Posted by Mr. Awesome on Mon, 21 Apr 2008 10:09:00 PST

People are Fucking Disgusting

I'm sitting in the airport in Dallas on the way back to Albuquerque. I sat down and watched the news for 5 minutes and my blood is fucking boiling. I wanted to scream at the tv and put my fist through...
Posted by Mr. Awesome on Sat, 19 Apr 2008 03:57:00 PST

Zach Walizer- Best Friend I Ever Had

Zachary Gilbrech Walizer January 13 1981- April 12, 2008 I first met Zach at Weber State University in Ogden, Utah We lived in the same dorms together. He roomed with Brian Bebka who was also a metal ...
Posted by Mr. Awesome on Sun, 13 Apr 2008 02:07:00 PST

Everything You Need to Know About Utah

So I’m watching one of my favorite shows Intervention because I’m a sick sick bastard and when I’m not getting fucked up I enjoy watching people on tv get fucked up for me (and they&...
Posted by Mr. Awesome on Tue, 08 Apr 2008 10:30:00 PST

Kids and Puppies and Why I Dislike Them

I hate to sound incredibly sexist here but what the hell is it with chicks having a pathological need to have a stupid little creature following them around that they have to yell at? I mean I guess I...
Posted by Mr. Awesome on Mon, 07 Apr 2008 06:39:00 PST

God And His Undying Love For Us

If you’re just joining us here in Mike’s Feel Good Fun-Time Happy Blog and based on this title are expecting a faith promoting spiritually uplifting essay about my undying love for our Lor...
Posted by Mr. Awesome on Sun, 30 Mar 2008 10:13:00 PST

Ask Mr. Awesome

I guess it must be the new profile picture of me in my chair with my glasses looking studious, hard at work, full of shit, horny, and "slightly" overweight but all of a sudden I am being looked on as ...
Posted by Mr. Awesome on Wed, 26 Mar 2008 11:49:00 PST

A Romantic Evening with Mr. Awesome

You know, I get a little bit bored around here some times. So I like to wander over to craigslist to see what’s going on in my local community. There’s a section on there called "Casual En...
Posted by Mr. Awesome on Tue, 25 Mar 2008 08:47:00 PST

America, 5 Years Ago You Fucked Up

It’s been 5 years since the War in Iraq began 5 years ago on the night the war began I was marching on the Congress Avenue Bridge in Austin Texas while the police dispersed the crowd with tear g...
Posted by Mr. Awesome on Fri, 21 Mar 2008 11:30:00 PST

Score One for Whitey

I don’t pretend to be anything but the whitest, goofiest jackass redneck from SisterFuck Land (My gene pool gets a little "awkward" once you get to the mid 1800’s in Pioneer Times) But I&r...
Posted by Mr. Awesome on Thu, 20 Mar 2008 12:29:00 PST