Collapsing on the verge of clarity through lunacy

About Me

OK, so I'm a 23 y/o temporary college dropout from Baltimore....I'm a musician (guitar, piano, and mandolin) and songwriter/occasional poet...I dress primarily in black, although I'm not sure I have a definition for myself (other than insane)...employed at UPS...I'm a devotee of horror, art, and underground cinema...I'm pretty quiet until you get to know me (as those with that misfortune can attest)...I'm constantly looking to start a band (thinking something along the lines of modern dc hardcore mixed w/ bebop jazz)...I believe that every day should be lived like it's your last (which, knowing me, there's always a good chance it is)...I have a weird sense of humor (don't ask)...Feel free to IM me (sn is Kesey 69) to learn more...Anyhow, that's all I can think of right now, may add more later...Peace
Name: Nick Self-Destruct
Birthdate: August 31, 1984
Birthplace: Baltimore, MD
Current Location: Baltimore, MD
Eye Color: varying shades of hazel
Hair Color: dark brown/black
Height: 5'9"
Weight: 170(?)
Piercings: none (yet)
Tatoos: phoenix, on my right arm; chinese symbol for "rat" on the back of my right shoulder; self-designed "duality of love" on my right forearm (check the picture), "in accordance with what is right" in anglo-saxon/olde english above my heart
Boyfriend/Girlfriend: no
Overused Phraze: don't make me give you the back of my hand
FAVORITES
Food: sushi
Candy: don't really eat candy these days
Number: 5
Color: black
Animal: phoenix
Drink: natty boh
Alcohol Drink: jack and coke
Bagel: plain
Letter: N
Body Part on Opposite sex: ass (subtle i am not)
This or That
Pepsi or Coke: either
McDonalds or BurgerKing: neither
Strawberry or Watermelon: watermelon
Hot tea or Ice tea: hot tea
Chocolate or Vanilla chocolate
Hot Chocolate or Coffee: coffee
Kiss or Hug: whatever
Dog or Cat: dog
Rap or Punk: punk
Summer or Winter: winter
Scary Movies or Funny Movies: disturbing movies
Love or Money: one begat the other
YOUR...
Bedtime: whenever
Most Missed Memory: the one that i can't remember
Best phyiscal feature: eyes
First Thought Waking Up: who the hell is next to me?
Goal for this year: start a new american revolution
Best Friends: rob, christina, andrew
Weakness: myself
Fears: america and where it's headed
Heritage: scottish/irish/german/finnish/native american
Longest relationship: 3 months
HAVE YOU...
Ever Drank: countless times
Ever Smoked: constantly
Pot: gave it up a while ago
Ever been Drunk: normally
Ever been beaten up: suprisingly, i don't think so
Ever beaten someone up: probably
Ever Shoplifted: not that i remember
Ever Skinny Dipped: no
Ever Kissed Opposite sex: yup
Been Dumped Lately: nope
IN A GUY/GIRL
Favorite Eye Color: the darker colors
Favorite Hair Color: hmmm...brunette, black, or red
Short or Long: either
Height: anything above midget and below mountain
Style: the unconventional
Looks or Personality: varies on a case-to-case basis
Hot or Cute hot
Drugs and Alcohol: they definitely help
Muscular or Really Skinny: not too skinny, but not huge (not meaning to be shallow, just honest)
RANDOMS
Number of Regrets in the Past: i've had a few, but then again, too many to mention
What country do you want to Visit: i need to get my ass back to london one of these days
How do you want to Die: by taking others down with me
Been to the Mall Lately: no
Do you like Thunderstorms: don't care
Get along with your Parents: on occasion
Health Freak: nope
Do you think you
Believe in Yourself: i have an ego and it must be fed
Want to go to College: i do want to go back
Do you Smoke: like a chimney
Do you Drink: fuck yea
Shower Daily: thanks to work, yes
Been in Love: eh, not really
Do you Sing: yes
Want to get Married: eh, i'd probably cheat
Do you want Children: does anyone think that would end well?
Have your future kids names planned out: people who do are really fuckin creepy
Age you wanna lose your Virginity: it's long gone
Hate anyone: anyone? no...everyone? yes
CREATE YOUR OWN! - or - GET PAID TO TAKE SURVEYS!
.. You scored as Existentialist. Existentialism emphasizes human capability. There is no greater power interfering with life and thus it is up to us to make things happen. Sometimes considered a negative and depressing world view, your optimism towards human accomplishment is immense. Mankind is condemned to be free and must accept the responsibility.

Postmodernist

88%

Existentialist

88%

Modernist

81%

Materialist

75%

Romanticist

69%

Idealist

63%

Cultural Creative

44%

Fundamentalist

31%
What is Your World View? (updated)
created with QuizFarm.com

My Interests

Writing and playing music, concerts, hanging out w/ my friends, smoking (marlboro reds for life!), drinking, video games, girls, guys, movies, psychology, photography, filmmaking, and studying serial killers...speaking of which:
If i was a serial killer i would be Ted Bundy .

In the early to mid 1970s Ted Bundy would murder over 30 young women. Most were attacked while walking in parks, found later to have been raped and strangled to death, but sometimes Bundy would go as far as breaking into their houses as they slept and beating them to death with a crow bar.

After being caught and convicted of the murders, Bundy escaped prison, acquired a new name and started his killing spree all over again. Soon after, Bundy was caught, but not before taking the lives of 3 more women.

Almost all of Bundy's victims were young white girls with long dark hair parted down the middle, all were raped, beaten and sodomized.

kill count: 30+
Find what serial killer you would be, Take the Serial Killer Quiz now!

I'd like to meet:

Fellow lunatics in Baltimore/Towson, and some fellow musicians to fill out a band...goddammit, i had to do a myheritage thing, so...

Music:

Rolling Stones, Slayer, The Clash, GG Allin, Joy Division, Sex Pistols, Lamb of God, The Ramones, Dead Kennedys, Atreyu, Nirvana, The Streets, Bikini Kill, Sleater-Kinney, Converge, The Soma Solution, Savory James, Refused, Killswitch Engage, Thursday, Public Enemy, The Smiths, Dizzee Rascal, Chicks On Speed, Johnny Cash, Eric B. and Rakim, The Bled, Black Flag, The Misfits, Operation Ivy, Avenged Sevenfold, An Albatross, Between the Buried and Me, Fugazi, Interpol, The Gossip, Le Tigre, Helmet, The Dears, Blood Brothers, Bear vs. Shark, Alexisonfire, Rilo Kiley, Nashville Pussy, Elliot Smith, Arch Enemy, Shadows Fall, Lacuna Coil, The Pixies, Ryan Adams, Minor Threat, John Coltrane, Majority Rule, Queens of the Stone Age, M.I.A., Tegan and Sara, Violent Femmes, Darkest Hour, Swarm of the Lotus, The Faint, Morrissey, Cursive, Tool, Tom Waits, At the Gates, The Arcade Fire, Opeth, Nine Inch Nails, The Mars Volta, Jem, Mindless Self Indulgance, Yeah Yeah Yeahs, Unearth, Big Star, Beck, Tori Amos, Bob Dylan, The White Stripes, Misery Index, System of a Down, Voltaire, As I Lay Dying, Pantera, Superjoint Ritual, Tim Buckley, Death By Stereo, Robert Johnson, Fear Factory, Danzig, early Liz Phair, King Diamond, Boards of Canada, Mastodon, Black Label Society, Strapping Young Lad, The Buzzcocks, Stone Temple Pilots, N.W.A., Depeche Mode, A3, The Distillers, The Raincoats, The Dwarves, HIM, The Exploited, Ministry, Nick Cave, Joanna Newsom, Radiohead, and many, many more

Movies:

Alphaville, Night of the Living Dead, Dawn of the Dead (the original), Texas Chainsaw Massacre (the original), Suspiria, Sideways, Shaun of the Dead, Happiness, A Clockwork Orange, Reefer Madness, 24 Hour Party People, Nosferatu (the original), Requiem For a Dream, Evil Dead, Branded to Kill, Mulholland Drive, Henry: Portrait of a Serial Killer, Ringu, 2001: A Space Odyssey, Hable con Ella, The Breakfast Club, A Mighty Wind, The Shining, Cecil B. Demented, The Cabinet of Dr. Caligari, Metropolis (the original), Akira, The Birds, Natural Born Killers, Pulp Fiction, The Last Waltz, The Usual Suspects, Royal Tenenbaums, Freeway, Silence of the Lambs, The Seventh Seal, Reservoir Dogs, Spellbound, Gangster No. 1, Apocalypse Now, Blue Velvet, The Kid Stays In the Picture, Super Size Me, Saved!, Rosemary's Baby, Ghost World, The Third Man, Psycho (the original), Rushmore, Meet the Feebles, Taxi Driver, Storytelling, Clerks, Duel, Donnie Darko, Kill Bill vol. 1&2, History of the World part 1, The Wicker Man, Full Metal Jacket, Jesus Christ Vampire Hunter, Waiting For Guffman, Pretty in Pink, Monty Python and the Holy Grail, Schizopolis, Fargo, Heavenly Creatures, Being John Malkovitch, Videodrome, This Is Spinal Tap, Jaws, Enter the Dragon, 8 1/2, One From the Heart, Lock Stock and Two Smoking Barrels, Ed Wood, The Thing (John Carpenter's version), Land of the Dead, Murderball, Anchorman, Zombie, Suburbia, Freaks, M, Triumph of the Will, Lost in Translation, Virgin Suicides. Cat Lickers (trust me, it's the worst porn film ever made), But I'm A Cheerleader, Hamlet (the Ethan Hawke version), Word Wars, Dark Water (original Japanese version), Best In Show, The Aristocrats, Eraserhead, The Harder They Come, A History of Violence

Television:

Family Guy, The Simpsons, Sportscenter, Spongebob, Headbanger's Ball, MST 3K, VH1 Classic, CKY Trilogy/Jackass, infomercials, The Joy of Painting (Bob Ross kicks ass!!), Daria, Mythbusters, Cheap Seats, Dirty Jobs (representin for bmore...check out the local sunday mornin real estate infomercial(s) on wjz if ya don't get what i mean)

Books:

Fight Club, Gasoline, One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest, The Doors of Perception, Notes From the Underground, The Stranger, The Wasteland, Book of Dreams (Kerouac), The Interpretation of Dreams, A Coney Island of the Mind, Jim Morrison poetry collections, Slaughterhouse-Five, the Satanic Bible, Fast Food Nation, The Metamorphesis, Johnny Got His Gun, The Republic, Dreams (Jung), Survivor, On the Road, Death Of A Salesman, Rage (early Stephen King), Diary, Hamlet, The Economic and Philosophic Manuscripts of 1844 (Marx), 1984, Animal House, anything by Ginsberg, anything by Poe, Have A Nice Day (Foley), Brave New World, The Lottery (Jackson short story), Heart of Darkness, The Art of War, The Prince, Macbeth, Equus

Heroes:

Keith Richards, GG Allin, Joe Strummer, Allen Ginsberg, David Lynch, John Waters, Gary Larson, Albert Camus

My Blog

i just might be borderline idiot...

well, i went in to work tonight, only to find out i'm on vacation this week...go figure...so yea, time to kill all week...so drop a line and help alleviate my boredom...peace
Posted by Collapsing on the verge of clarity through lunacy on Tue, 21 Aug 2007 05:16:00 PST

mainly an ad, but a little update

well, work took all my energy, so i'm staying in tonight...anyhow, things have been good...still into a girl, and we've been havin fun (goddamn mime, though...wanna kill the mime)...went to both days ...
Posted by Collapsing on the verge of clarity through lunacy on Thu, 09 Aug 2007 09:05:00 PST

brief update, as i must leave for work shortly

anyhow, all seems well at the moment...got some new ink, which i swear i'll get pics of up soon as i can...for those keepin count, that's 5 tats i have now...saw twilight sad play at sonar last night,...
Posted by Collapsing on the verge of clarity through lunacy on Wed, 18 Jul 2007 02:10:00 PST

everything's coming up milhouse!

yea, been a while since i've blogged...anyhow, got a massive bit of luck yesterday when the morrissey show was postponed, cuz my boss already had refused to let me off that night...far as today goes, ...
Posted by Collapsing on the verge of clarity through lunacy on Thu, 05 Jul 2007 06:05:00 PST

those who need to will get this

this is not high school, people...stop tryin to make it one
Posted by Collapsing on the verge of clarity through lunacy on Sun, 10 Jun 2007 12:56:00 PST

afraid, not scared

so on saturday, christina's moving to idaho for at least a couple of months...man, i hate to even think about it...i mean, i understand the reason(s) for her going and all, but at the same time, she's...
Posted by Collapsing on the verge of clarity through lunacy on Fri, 08 Jun 2007 09:32:00 PST

WHAT THE FUCK?!?!?!

it seems my bank, at some point today, randomly took out a big ass fine out on me, so suddenly i'm in the red again...i've gotta go in tomorrow to straighten this out, cuz there was no reason at all f...
Posted by Collapsing on the verge of clarity through lunacy on Wed, 30 May 2007 12:45:00 PST

one of those perfect moments

yep, an increasingly rare night of stayin in...kinda needed one, i think...anyhow, on to the point, or what the title's about...about 2-3 minutes ago, w/ my computer playing music on random, the theme...
Posted by Collapsing on the verge of clarity through lunacy on Thu, 24 May 2007 10:31:00 PST

the lost weekend

if ya know what the title's in reference to, then congratulations, you get a cookie...anyhow, drama is done...onwards and upwards, people...peace
Posted by Collapsing on the verge of clarity through lunacy on Mon, 21 May 2007 01:32:00 PST

tragicomedy and a busted ass

ok, so i've been doin a lot of shit goin on these past couple weeks, so i'll just list things at random...partying, tons upon tons of drinkin, falling down a flight of stairs (that was saturday night,...
Posted by Collapsing on the verge of clarity through lunacy on Mon, 14 May 2007 02:26:00 PST