NATURALBEAUTY

I guess the only thing that matters at this point in my life is why I made the choice to begin transforming into the person God wants me to be. How I am going about it and how I feel now than I did before the decision was made. I thought because I never gave up on my education, never got pregnant, and attended church most of my life that I was doing better than most people my age. I realized that I was in the same boat as the rest, because the devil had the tighest grip on me. I thought my life was over after my bestfriend/my left hand/the man I thought I was suppose to marry was murdered. I was in a daze for awhile thinking nobody was there, but I had to realize that God was there and I had to turn my life over to him. I had to change my actions although it was hard, still is hard, and the devil will always try to get me to come back. I honestly feel free, I still have things to deal with but I am free. When I was deep into the devil it felt like it was always something wrong, but it feel very different now. I realize Chamone was carrying me and I had to find my way to God myself, so I know that his death happened for a reason. I am still in pain, but I have joy and I know I will make it. I see all three that is responsible for his murder and feel bad for them. I know things come back, it hurt when it does, so I truly feel sorry for them. I apologize to all that I have hurt and hope that they can forgive me, because my attitude allowed me to not care for anyone truly. I hope that when younger people see me that they will want to be more educated, more successful, and begin their transformation in a better way than me.