the job, the family, the fucking big television, the washing machine, the car, the compact disc and electrical tin opener, good health, low cholesterol, dental insurance, mortgage, starter home, leisurewear, luggage, three-piece suite, DIY, game shows, junk food, children, walks in the park, nine to five, good at golf, washing the car, choice of sweaters, family Christmas, indexed pension, tax exemption, clearing the gutters, getting by, looking ahead, to the day you die
Anyone who doesn't get soggy in milk.
The Beatles, Nine Inch Nails, Pink Floyd, Nirvana, Radiohead, Queens of the Stone Age, Foo Fighters, old Metallica, Pantera, The Toadies, Alice In Chains, Soundgarden, Smashing Pumpkins, Black Sabbath, Led Zeppelin, Lynyrd Skynyrd, Beck, Alanis Morissette, Dido, Eminem, Outkast, Ludacris, Kelly Clarkson (STOP LAUGHING!!!), Avenged Sevenfold, Weezer (Blue to Green), Slipknot, Offspring (Smash only), Willie Nelson, Johnny Cash, Jimmy Buffet, Bright Eyes, The Mars Volta, The Sword
Pulp Fiction (and all things Tarantino), anything by Stanley Kubrick, Donnie Darko, Mulholland Drive, The Big Lebowski, Fargo, Secretary, Lord of the Rings, Sin City, The Matrix, All Paul Thomas Anderson flicks, Seven, Taxi Driver, The Godfather I & II, The Virgin Suicides, Citizen Kane, Babe, A Christmas Story, Gone With The Wind, School Of Rock, Napolean Dynamite, Bad Santa, American Pie (pretty much any raunchy comedy about horny teenagers), anything with Will Ferrell, anything with Jenna Jameson
Seinfeld, The Shield, Beavis And Butthead, Family Guy, Simpsons, Lost, Dr. Phil, Pardon The Interuption, Malcom in the Middle, Sex in the City, Yes Dear, Nip/Tuck, Rescue Me, Late Night With Conan O'Brien, Kids In The Hall, South Park, Chappelle's Show, The L Word, My Name Is Earl, The Office, Scrubs, American Idol (yes, I am a tool)
Reading Sucks! (An unfortunate by-product of attending college)
Mr. Self-Destruct, Jack Daniels, The Grinch, The Dude