michael

When I was a youngster, I went on vacation to Lake Tahoe with my friend Ryan and his family. We were staying at a pretty happenin' hotel that was supposedly frequented by celebs now and again, so I think we were hoping for an autograph or two from some tinsel town's finest.Then we hit fucking paydirt.Shopping for mandatory take-home presents for the fam, ryan and I heard an unmistakeable voice. Its a voice that calls to mind spiddle from the mouth and creamy thighs. A voice that any thirteen-year-old fanboy could reconize in a heart beat.It was Wayne Knight.Now most people that hear and actually recognize that name immediately associate it with Jerry Seinfeld's zany neighbor/nemesis Newman, of TV's popular nineties sitcom "Seinfeld." Oh but not me. You see, Wayne Knight finest role actually dates back to 1993 in Michael Chricton's Dinomyte Thriller "Jurassic Park." If you recall, Knight plays Dennis Nedry, the tubsy and at times clumsy JP employee that attempts to steal dino embryos and ultimately creates the security breach that allows all those menacing CG raptors loose to spray thick black venom in his face.Go to www.imdb.com/title/tt0107290/ for a truly awesome review of the film. Seriously its pretty funny.Anyhoo, there he is, Wayne Knight, in the fucking flesh. I panicked. My official Jurassic Park ballcap was up in our room. What if by the time I got up there, retrieved said ballcap and got back to the gift shop, Mr.Knight had left for the all-day buffet! I could not miss this opportunity to solidify my status as resident JP badass back in Gig Harbor by not getting Knight's John Hancock on my cap. To my delight, Kny-Kny was all charm; cordial and patient, he waited for this pathetically overly enthusiastic youngster to "hustle" up to the 4th floor in order to get his cap for it to be signed. I guess thats the end. The story feels sort of unrewarding now that I've finished typing it. I guess my point was that I actually had a Jurassic Park hat.