Kommander Kuntz - ProfilesArchive

About Me

I'm a person of flawed character which makes me pretty much the same as everyone else. I know I'm not as cool as I think I am but I'm too afraid to admit it. I have vices. I make promises I can't keep. I start projects that I don't finish. I'm hypocritical. I procrastinate. I have incredible discipline in incredibly short spurts. I have a wealth of super imaginative ideas that I'm too lazy to do anything with. I have an insatiable ego when people are watching. I don't like religion or fruit salads that have an overabundance of melon. I have a profound admiration for the written word. I'm not very good at math. I use the pronoun "I" a lot. I like convenience but I am not a slave to it. I don't practice as much as I should. I like the rain. I like the cold. I cry at the end of Mystery Men. I don't mind working on holidays. I enjoy the taste of hose water and dog biscuits.

My Interests

Hockey, music, soccer, photography, bowling, cycling, puzzles, computers, art, poker, pinball.

I'd like to meet:

The guy who murdered Zdzislaw Beksinski so I can kick his ass and anyone selling LSD.

Music:

Mr. Bungle, KMFDM, Mindless Self Indulgence, 3 Inches of Blood, Dimmu Borgir, Dizzy Gillespie, Dvorjak, Gogol Bordello, Killswitch Engage, Dream Theater, Harry Connick Jr., Rhapsody, Beethoven, Queen, Frank Zappa, Weird Al, Wynton Marsalis, Al Vizzutti, Tool and more.

Movies:

Alien, Slap Shot, Fight Club, Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas, Sneakers, Hellraiser, Napoleon Dynamite, Shaun of the Dead, Sin City, Mallrats, Army of Darkness, Payback, The Incredibles, The Prophecy, Lord of the Rings

Television:

Still sucks.

Books:

Still aren't being read enough.

Heroes:

Dad, Weird Al, Zdzislaw Beksinski, Wayne Barlowe, H.R. Giger, Alex Ross, Mike Patton, Chuck Palahniuk, Jeff Koons, Dr. Steel, Bear Grylls.

My Blog

ITS TIME TO GET PISSED OFF

It's time to get pissed off people. I came across a study recently that found that pissed off people get more done. You'll have to forgive me as I can't find the source of the report so you'll just ha...
Posted by Kommander Kuntz on Sat, 17 Nov 2007 12:58:00 PST

Bottled Water is for Suckers

I've officially declared war on bottled water. I've never been a big fan of the stuff but I also wasn't really against it either. I just didn't think about it much. If people like the taste ...
Posted by Kommander Kuntz on Wed, 15 Aug 2007 04:13:00 PST

Name That Bruise!

It's time to play everybody's favorite game - NAME THAT BRUISE! The rules are simple: Come up with the best name for Andy's bruise and win! Actual prizes haven't been decided upon yet and are sub...
Posted by Kommander Kuntz on Thu, 09 Aug 2007 11:49:00 PST

Think Different Contest - What's on Jesus' Ipod?

Here's how it would go down if I were running things in the art department over there at Apple: So here's the contest: You tell me what Jesus is listening to and you'll win a prize. I don't...
Posted by Kommander Kuntz on Sun, 28 Jan 2007 12:41:00 PST

Do as I Say and as I Do

Your discomfort is only your contentment in remission so stop daydreaming about where you'd rather be and start working on a way to get there. Stop crying. Stop procrastinating. Stop praying for some...
Posted by Kommander Kuntz on Tue, 23 Jan 2007 09:50:00 PST

2007 Rose Parade

By now some of you must have seen or at least heard about what was arguably the main attraction of this year's Rose Parade: the battalion of Storm Troopers led by Darth Vader. It was cool but it would...
Posted by Kommander Kuntz on Fri, 05 Jan 2007 07:58:00 PST

I totally beat my wife today

Nothing makes me feel more like a big man than beating my wife at something. It really gives my already over inflated alpha male ego that extra boost. Today we faced off at the allergy doctor and...
Posted by Kommander Kuntz on Fri, 15 Dec 2006 08:59:00 PST

Up Late and Ornery

Okay world listen up: I'm taking you hostage and I'm not letting you go until some of my demands are met. Now pay attention: 1.) Bring back Night Court, The Wizard and Parker Lewis Can't Lose. 2.) I w...
Posted by Kommander Kuntz on Tue, 05 Dec 2006 01:05:00 PST

Bike Thieving Terrorists

Our bikes were stolen from out of our garage. $1200 worth of mountain biking goodness that we more than likely will never see again. You'd think that I'd be blogging this as a cry for help or a plea f...
Posted by Kommander Kuntz on Fri, 15 Sep 2006 04:44:00 PST

It's Tough Bein' a Dude

Sometimes, when you're at the urinal in a crowded public bathroom and you're wearing sandals, you can feel the urine stream from the guy next to you ricochet off the porcelain urinal and spa...
Posted by Kommander Kuntz on Sun, 27 Aug 2006 10:21:00 PST