Having a bartender in my living room.
Your mom.
One time I did this really awesome fart in the bath tub and it sounded just like a New Edition song.
Once a year me and my buddy Todd watch this tape of our old band Dagwood and remember the times before Pabst made us fat.
I hate it.
I wish that I had duck feet, The Lorax, and The Sneetches.
Captain America and my son who had his first mohawk at 13 (his decision) and got kicked out of school for it. A new family record.