...There is an idea of a NoS LeRatZ, some kind of abstraction, but there is no real me, only an entity, something illusory, and though I can hide my cold gaze and you can shake my hand and feel flesh gripping you and maybe you can even sense our lifestyles are probably comparable: I simply am not there. I have all the characteristics of a human being- flesh, blood, skin, hair-but not a single clear, identifiable emotion except . . . Something horrible is happening inside me and I don't know why.
