Kitchen gadgets, old school robots, writing, music, karaoke, my beautiful and freakishly smart daughter, yoga, competitive eating, caffinated beverages, gardenias, smiths lore, tattoos, flip flops, cat eye glasses, 50s memorabilia, old cookbooks with disgusting photos, tight cardigan sweaters, chunky black hipster glasses, alton brown, buffy the vampire slayer, men who bathe regularly, freaky quirky autobiographies (especially the ones involving some sort of vice), food snobbery, peanut butter, bacon, roasted duck, garlic, asparagus, tuna (rare and ahi; not canned), sushi, nigella lawson, high scofield ratings, bikini underwear, brit pop, groovy organ, exaggeration, misanthropy, gallows humor, books about addiction and recovery, toasters, pleated skirts, shoes with ankle straps, clavical bones on women, dark hair, muscians and painters, the Ricky Gervais Show, Found magazine (www.found.com) and debunkery.oh, and malcontents, sarcasm and schadenfreude.
Those who will banter.
the beatles, the smiths (special and pathetic is my love for the smiths), the beach boys, david bowie, they might be giants, sahara hotnights, amy winehouse, the charlatans, cat power, coldplay, flaming lips, the bee gees, queen, lovin' spoonful (quite possibly the single most underrated band of all time), the zombies, nick drake, jeff buckley, beck, kings of leon, the monkees, marvin gaye, morrissey all by hisself, the lemonheads, stereolab, social distortion, lily allen, the kinks, the ramones, the von bondies, mooney suzuki, the gore gore girls, the bees, grandaddy, beastie boys, the clash, miles davis, coltrane, chris whitley, brian jonestown massacre, gordon lightfoot, elvis costello, patsy cline, johnny cash, stephen sondheim, and that should do it until I add a thousand more bands in a few minutes.
about a boy, american splendor, being john malkovich, back to the future, best in show, best years of our lives, big fish, bishop's wife, the breakfast club, carnival of souls, clay pigeons, clerks, clueless, dazed and confused, double indemnity, down with love, fast times at ridgemont high, fight club, finding nemo, 40 year old virgin, garden state, the graduate, haiku tunnel, high fidelity, the incredibles, indiana jones, LA Confidential, LA story, lock stock and two smoking barrels, lost in translation, made, mall rats, monsters inc, muppet movie, nightmare before christmas, oh brother where art thou?, oceans eleven, the philadelphia story, pretty in pink, princess bride, raising arizona, end of the century: the story of the ramones, rock and roll high school, reefer madness, the royal tenenbaums, rushmore, school of rock, sideways, singles, sixteen candles, so i married an axe murder, superbad, swingers, this is spinal tap, uncle buck, the wizard of oz, when harry met sally, waiting for guffman.
the simpsons, the office (BBC & NBC), arrested development (RIP), cheap seats (RIP), MST3K (RIP), curb your enthusiasm, buffy the vampire slayer (RIP), angel (RIP), futurama (RIP).everything i love gets cancelled.
are you there, god? it's me, margaret, THEM: adventures with extremists, slaughterhouse five, choke and chuck palahniuk (although i swore him off after the abomination that was lullabye), high fidelity, how to be good and nick hornby in general, sex drugs and cocoa puffs (if only because i love to hate chuck klosterman), how soon is never, catcher in the rye, heart of darkness, anything tom robbins, a confederacy of dunces, martin amis, christopher moore, nathaniel hawthorne, douglas coupland (but still on the fence about girlfriend in a coma), laurie notaro (even though she's not as funny now that she's sober and married), sarah vowell, anthony bourdain and kitchen confidential, hotel bemelmens, any other tawdry expose on the service industry, a million little pieces, permanent midnight, any other tawdry expose on addiction and recovery, quirky autobiographia.
and sedaris, natch. but saying you think he's funny is tantamount to admitting that yes, you do like to breathe air.
David Lawrence Armstrong.