Kris - ProfilesArchive

About Me

I'm not like all the other guys. I pride myself in being different. They say to take the road less traveled. I say to take the road that was NEVER traveled. You can't quote me on that or else it'll be plagiarism.
TELL ME ABOUT YOURSELF - The Survey
Name: Kris Osterhout
Birthday: Christmas Day, 1987
Birthplace: Reno, NV
Current Location: Laughlin, NV (I live in Reno, though)
Eye Color: Blue
Hair Color: Dirty Blonde
Height: 5'7"
Right Handed or Left Handed: Right
Your Heritage: 25% Italian, 10% German, 60% Mix-a-roo
The Shoes You Wore Today: Coolio White Skating Shoes
Your Weakness: Nose Piercing
Your Fears: Disappointment, heart break, bees...
Your Perfect Pizza: Pepperoni + Steak + Sausage + 5 types of cheese
Goal You Would Like To Achieve This Year: I would like to get a faithful girlfriend
Your Most Overused Phrase On an instant messenger: LMAO
Thoughts First Waking Up: Too...early...TURN OFF MY LIGHTS!!!!
Your Best Physical Feature: I'm not a vain person
Your Bedtime: Umm, wait...people sleep? Weird...
Your Most Missed Memory: Being a child and having no worries...
Pepsi or Coke: Pepsi
MacDonalds or Burger King: Mm, fattening trans fat greasy grease.....
Single or Group Dates: Meh, doesn't really matter. A date is a plus for me.
Lipton Ice Tea or Nestea: Pukey Puke throw up sickness...
Chocolate or Vanilla: I like Chocolate + Vanilla in Ice Cream, but otherwise chocolate.
Cappuccino or Coffee: Cappuccino in drinks, but coffee if straight. I used to work in a coffee shop. :)
Do you Smoke: Those who do should get their heads meat grinded..
Do you Swear: WHAT THE FUCK?! NO I DON'T FUCKING SWEAR!
Do you Sing: Umm....occasionally..(*cough ALL STATE CHOIR cough*)
Do you Shower Daily: No, I'm a sloppy pig who has no sense of hygiene...Yes, of course..
Have you Been in Love: Sadly, yes.
Do you want to go to College: I'm a loser. Of course not. I want to sit at home and eat bon bons watching Maury tell who the baby's daddy is for the week...
Do you want to get Married: Yes, but I don't want to rush into things.
Do you belive in yourself: Do YOU believe in yourself?! Yes, I do.
Do you get Motion Sickness: No.....*PUKE*...Ok, yes...
Do you think you are Attractive: Very. I'm the sexiest sex that ever walked the face of the planet. They should rename this planet to "KRIS, SEX BOY'S PLAYGROUND!"....What kind of question is this?
Are you a Health Freak: God no. My doctor wonders why I'm not 300 pounds...
Do you get along with your Parents: Yeah. Most of the time. Well, when my dad isn't calling me a black kid because I don't INSTANTANEOUSLY pick up my paper plate...
Do you like Thunderstorms: My dreams of a kid was to become a meteorologist. So..I hate them. :P What do you think?!
Do you play an Instrument: No, I don't. I only play the Piano, I can drum and I can play 90% of mallot instruments. So, no, I can't play a single instrument.
In the past month have you Drank Alcohol: God, I wish...
In the past month have you Smoked: Does it look like my head has been in a meat grinder?! (Don't answer that...)
In the past month have you been on Drugs: No....Woah, purple elephant. Please excuse me while I catch it with this nifty 300 ft net...WEE!! (no, really, I haven't).
In the past month have you gone on a Date: .....
In the past month have you gone to a Mall: No, thank the lord.
In the past month have you eaten a box of Oreos: OOH! I LOVE THOSE TRANS FAT CIRCLES! MMM!!!
In the past month have you eaten Sushi: You know, there's something about eating raw, gushy, disgusting fish that seems wrong to me...Maybe I'm just retarded.
In the past month have you been on Stage: No I haven't (5 times).. I have never been on stage in my life (well over 100 times). Why do you ask (I lie a lot)?
In the past month have you been Dumped: In a Boy/Girl..
Favourite Eye Color: Blue
Favourite Hair Color: Blonde
Short or Long Hair: Preferrably really cute long hair
Height: I don't care as long as they're not like Andre the Giant or an extra for the Oompa Loompas..
Weight: Anything lower than a bull elephant seal would be nice..
Best Clothing Style: Ooh, I like girls who dress differently. Or, preferrably, none? ;)
Number of Drugs I have taken: Oh, if I had to count them all...hold on a sec......Sorry, that took a while to count them all. NONE!
Number of CDs I own: CD's? Only squares LEGALLY get music now a days..
Number of Piercings: Well, if you count the Prince Albert....NONE.
Number of Tattoos: Oh, that was a fun night. Man, that hurt a little bit though. Who would have known that the...ahem...private area was so sensative to jabbing, ink filled needles...NONE!
Number of things in my Past I Regret: Regretting is for circles. Like I said, I'm a square. ...

My Interests

I actually have a lot of interests. Unlike other people with absolutely no time on their hands, I'm not going to list every single interest I've ever had and ever will have. Just know that I'm a busy person and I have a lot of interests. OK?

I'd like to meet:

Anyone with an intelligence that at least challenges Shamu at Sea World. One that doesn't listen to Crunk or anything affiliated with such disgust. Oh, and anyone that doesn't say "Oh, you're Catholic? Been raped yet? HAHAHAAHAHAAHAHA.." because it isn't funny after the five-millionth time, idiot.

Music:

Anything and everything. I like all music. I've even sort of gotten into rap, so I can officially say I love everything (EXCEPT KRUNK! I HAAAATE KRUNK!!!!). Don't tell me otherwise or I will be forced to go all crazy like.Here's a nice little piece of music I love:Totally....

Movies:

Movies, huh? I don't like watching scary movies in a movie theatre because it's only stupid people that go to scary movies in a movie theatre. I love watching comedies in a movie theatre though. I really like all types of movies other than "LOOK AT ME, I'M A POOR KID IN THE HOOD WHO MADE IT AS A SUPER-PHAT RAPPER YO!". Nope, won't watch it.

Television:

My friend considers me a walking commercial. He asked me once if I purposely memorize commercials. My response? "You don't?"

Books:

To start out, I read. A lot, for that matter. If I were to list every book I've ever read, it would be like reading a book while reading the list. So, therefore, I will not do such a long, boring, completely pointless exercise. Mm, I sound so conceited there. :(

Heroes:

God and my mother. Cliche? Go screw yourself.

My Blog

So here's the way I see it.

I'm young.Shocking, I know.Why the hell should I work so hard at my job when it is not going to be a career? Why do I worry so much when people at my work are so evidently better than me because I don...
Posted by "OMFG ONE SHOT!" on Sun, 21 Jan 2007 12:43:00 PST

Lacey is...correct?

Haha...I love you Lacey. Here's the reason why.You're right! Why are you right? Well, because God loves you, I guess. You're absolutely right -- and I wanted to confirm exactly what you said. That bul...
Posted by "OMFG ONE SHOT!" on Fri, 29 Dec 2006 12:31:00 PST

The mysteries of life...and death.

Death. By any other name, just as unbearable. Frightening. Inhumane...but that's just it, isn't it? There is nothing more humane than death. Except life. Life and death...the actual...
Posted by "OMFG ONE SHOT!" on Sun, 29 Oct 2006 10:49:00 PST

So here's the deal...

I'm fucking sick and tired of this whole "do you have a girlfriend?" routine that people pull. People make it like it's the most important thing in the world. You know what? FUCK TH...
Posted by "OMFG ONE SHOT!" on Wed, 13 Sep 2006 10:06:00 PST

What hurts the most...

You know what,I just actually saw the video to a song I love...I've heard it a thousand times, but now I finally know what it's about.I have to tell you people: live life how you want it to be lived. ...
Posted by "OMFG ONE SHOT!" on Wed, 06 Sep 2006 01:05:00 PST

I devote this to my true friends.

This goes out to you. The friends who really mean something to me. All of you who stand by my side despite what others may say about me. This goes to you whom actually understand me instead of taking ...
Posted by "OMFG ONE SHOT!" on Wed, 16 Aug 2006 10:36:00 PST

Kris Presents - Kris on the Street

So, sometimes I really think that I talk too much like a 30 year old female lawyer from Harvard. The question is, does it really bother anyone but myself? I don't know. So, therefore, I'm going to tra...
Posted by "OMFG ONE SHOT!" on Fri, 12 May 2006 03:17:00 PST

Who the Hell am I?

For the last 12 years of my schooling, I kept wondering why the hell people had this preemptive notion that I was not who I really am. I never understood why the other kids would stay away from me, ev...
Posted by "OMFG ONE SHOT!" on Wed, 03 May 2006 08:29:00 PST

My Letter to Bill Manders...

*This letter is in response to his attack on a teacher at my school and a general attack on the entire staff at my school. Bill Manders is a talk show host on 780AM KOH that attacked a teacher at my s...
Posted by "OMFG ONE SHOT!" on Tue, 07 Mar 2006 10:29:00 PST

The Answer to a Thousand Questions...

Listen up: If you're a nice guy, you most certainly want to hear this. I believe I have found a hypothesis and conclusion that might answer a thousand of your questions.The Problem: Girls say they wan...
Posted by "OMFG ONE SHOT!" on Tue, 07 Mar 2006 09:19:00 PST