lost hope profile picture

lost hope

I am here for Dating, Serious Relationships, Friends and Networking

About Me


Welcome to my
Fucked up life! ♥ So, this is when I drag on about myself and try to look good....Well to bad no matter what I say it prob wont help..But anyway....
*My name is Alli, whats it short for you may ask...How about....I'll never tell.
*I guess I kinda live in largo right now, but I move around alot, so dont plan on me stay around, cus I cant stay in one place for to long or it will drive me crazy.
*I have a car, but who knows how long that will last.
*I plan to oneday move to a big city and get away, always running from something right.
*I dont think I have my shit togeather as well as id like it to be, but im trying hard but i just keep fucking up.
*I work for Fat Harry prod. and other jobs, like bartending and bullshit.
*If im not working or sleeping, I try to get out. mostly I sit at starbucks,read,write,and I play my acustic guitar when im home. when I do go out I like to go downtown and have a couple..no wait, make that "to many" drinks...and just chill out.
*Im a very blunt person, and i hate to lie.*Dont ever piss me off cus you have no idea what i can and will do.
*what do I plan on doing with my life now....I almost have no clue but id like to travel and maybe oneday even meet someone worth falling inlove with
*well I guess you can just call me a Beautaful mess, or so thats what iv been told.
*but yeah im a total mess really i am
p.s. most people know me as crazy...thanks.
yep im a pice of work kids....

My Interests

Photography, any art, coffee (starbucks), music, films,rain, surfing, skateboarding, reading, people waching, rambling, dancing around my house to Jason Mraz in my underwear when no ones home, sleeping in the middle of the bed, going insane, walking around, getting lost, never coming home, cigaretts(marlboro lights),breaking you, chie tea, hurt, lost, alone,heart broken, tattoos, pirecings, pain and last off being my own rock star.

I'd like to meet:

im always alone and im ok with it, thanks.
I
I want A man that can make me smile, can cook, and is down to earth. I like men..not boys, you gatta be able to make me feel safe and if I need you I need you right then.anderson cooper...thank God for C.N.N.

i guess what im trying to say is...maybe you shouldnt even bother with me.

now thats a man i want to spend the rest of my life with, I guess i just love that hole thing about running from killer zombies and falling in love...haha im such a hopeless romantic.

Music:

Brandnew

Fall Out Boy

Billy Talent

GreenDay

Plain White T's

Jason Mraz

Blink182

Smashing Pumkins

Chubbytuff

Dial834

Yellow Card

Offspring

Middle Rhythm Session

John Mayer

My Chemical Romance

this providence

Rufio, Beastie Boys, Nothington, and so much fucking more!!!

Movies:

boondock saints

,shawn of the dead, dawn of the dead,fight club,28 days later,caben boy,the brick..

Television:

my so called life is the fucking best show ever

cowboy bebob, lost, futuerama, all of adult swim really, scrubs, and yeah...

Books:

The occult a sourcebook of esoteric wisdom, William Shakespeare the complete works, the silver kiss, and more but thoes are some that I really like , and last but not lest, VITTORIO THE VAMPIRE, by anne rice.. iv read soooo many books, and i still try to read as much as i can.

Heroes:

my dad.

me and my dad at my sis wedding.
R.I.P Dylan Meyer I will always look up to you, I will always love you, I will never forget the times we had togeather, Im sorry that you had to feel the way you did.I love you Dylan. *I want you to want me*
R.I.P Kenny Conner, I love you so much, thank you for teaching me how to live life the right way and for looking out for me.

I've lost alot of friends and i look up to every single one of them, and look at them like there my heroes, because they are. no one will ever take there spots in my heart, and every time i think of them instead of crying i smile, because i know its all ok. Dylan, Kenny, Tim, Chris, Brandon, Travis,Edd,Shannon, i hope all is well R.I.P.
R.I.P. Michael Stephen Stilwell the best big brother a girl could have...i miss you everyday and love you soo damn much, and i lied when i said i hated being called "mike stilwells little sister", i love it and miss it.

My Blog

hopeless dream

you ever think things will go well and start to fall to nothing and fucking burn you? well that happends to me all the time to me, about everyday, im sure most of you get it to, but whatever. where im...
Posted by lost hope on Sun, 04 Nov 2007 01:13:00 PST

whats next

soooo as i seam to keep doing im over thinking again, im thinking of something new tho. runing off and starting over. i mean yeah id miss this place but iv lost so much, is it really worth sticking ar...
Posted by lost hope on Sun, 14 Oct 2007 09:51:00 PST

its just the way things are chapter1

its seams like everyday reality slips further away from me, thoughts never make since, my eyes play tricks on me, my ears hear things and voices that aren't real or around.   "what could do this"...
Posted by lost hope on Mon, 08 Oct 2007 11:50:00 PST

I now ask myself...

why is it that someone so loved by friends and family will take there own life and leave everyone in pain, and will only come in dreams to speak.......I wake up everyday and do the same old thing...
Posted by lost hope on Mon, 17 Sep 2007 03:58:00 PST

all I can smell

The smell of you sticks to my skin and clothing Even after a shower I cant make it go away But I dont want it to go away All tho I keep telling myself that its still all a lie Your under my skin ...
Posted by lost hope on Tue, 24 Jul 2007 08:49:00 PST

IMMM BACK!!!!

im over things and back to me! i feel fucking great.... Im back to the same girl i was befor you came into my life...watch it boys im going out!   fuck every one thats fucked me over.   ...
Posted by lost hope on Sat, 14 Jul 2007 06:17:00 PST

oh fuck

I dont get me and why i keep doing this to myself, i need to be locked in a room, or killed in a car crash, which will prob happen with the way iv been drinking again and im getting my car soon....wel...
Posted by lost hope on Mon, 02 Jul 2007 09:08:00 PST

stop to care...just this once

For once i put myself into something but not untill the end of it, inwhich was wrong, i guess cus when i first looked at you i saw that it would never work, that you couldnt care about me.But you did,...
Posted by lost hope on Mon, 25 Jun 2007 02:00:00 PST

Its lost

nothing more but me sitting and crying and wishing it didnt happen having way to much time to talk to myself finding out what so wrong with me and why you wouldnt give it a shot understanding im not w...
Posted by lost hope on Sun, 17 Jun 2007 09:20:00 PST

thoughts

Well the last couple of weeks have been.....hard I guess.  Kenny died, work sucked, and i found out i have to find a place to live by the 27th or im fucked. Im not looking for anyone to feel bad ...
Posted by lost hope on Wed, 30 May 2007 10:58:00 PST