Officer Tofus profile picture

Officer Tofus

There are 2 kinds of people in the world: those who love Hasil Adkins and those who don't.

About Me

27/m...my name is Chris aka Tofus...I work for AOL and I have a baby and a wifey and a house and a 401(k). I'm living the suburban American dream!
Advanced Global Personality Test Results
Extraversion |||||||||||||||| 70%
Stability |||||||||||||| 60%
Orderliness |||| 13%
Altruism |||||| 30%
Interdependence |||||||||||||||| 63%
Intellectual |||||||||||||||| 70%
Mystical || 10%
Artistic |||||||||||| 43%
Religious || 10%
Hedonism |||||||||||||||||||| 83%
Materialism |||||||||| 36%
Narcissism |||||||||||||||| 63%
Adventurousness |||||||||||||||||| 76%
Work ethic |||||||||||||| 56%
Self absorbed |||||||||||| 43%
Conflict seeking |||||||||||| 43%
Need to dominate |||||||||||| 50%
Romantic |||||||||||||||||||| 90%
Avoidant |||||||||||| 50%
Anti-authority |||||||||||||||||||| 90%
Wealth |||| 16%
Dependency |||||||||||||||| 63%
Change averse || 10%
Cautiousness |||||||||||||||| 70%
Individuality |||||||||||||| 56%
Sexuality |||||| 23%
Peter pan complex |||||||||||||||| 63%
Physical security |||||||||||||||| 63%
Physical Fitness |||||||||||| 50%
Histrionic |||||||||||||||| 70%
Paranoia |||||||||||||||| 63%
Vanity |||||||||||||||||| 76%
Hypersensitivity |||||||||||| 50%
Female cliche |||||||||| 36% Take Free Advanced Global Personality Test
personality tests by similarminds.com
I scored 83% on hedonism!? I never knew I was that naughty.
My Emo Band Name Is...
xX And You Will Know Monday On Tomorrow's Ashes Xx
What's Yours? Find out at the Emo Band Name Generator PLEASE Don't ever attempt to add your own colors and styles to your MySpace page. it NEVER looks good. And there is no such thing as a "MySpace tracker" or a "see who's been viewing your profile" widget.I had a lot of requests so I re-enabled HTML comments but you better not post ads or glittery Tinkerbell crap!

My Interests

Sheena, Heena, Toona Balooja, Jofus, Tofus, Lofus, Stouffus.

I'd like to meet:

People..... Nerd? Oh Yes I'm a nerd and you love it. Guys, girls, whatever. My wife is in need of some friends in DC as well. other rockabillies and psychos in the area?..!

Music:

The Quakes, Irving Klaws, Ghastly Ones, Ventures, Lee Press-On & The Nails, the Meteors, The Deltas, Demented Are Go, Mad Sin, Cave Catt Sammy, Restless, Stray Cats, Big Rude Jake, Tiger Army, Nekromantix, Klingonz, Gene Vincent, Carl Perkins, Jerry Lee Lewis, Jan & Dean, Los Straitjackets, Big Sandy, Deke Dickerson. Anything involving one or more of the following people: Meade Skelton, Tim Polecat, Lee Rocker, Rob Peltier, Boz Boorer, Mark Harmon, Nekroman, Slim Jim Phantom. Songs the Cramps Taught Us. The Cramps. The Caravans. Hillbilly Moon Explosion. 7 Shot Screamers. Mike Ness. The Ricochets. Elvis. Royal Crown Revue. Boozehounds. Sharks. Frenzy. Torment. Porn.

Movies:

Pootie Tang, Death to Smoochy, Terror Firmer, Cannibal! The Musical, House on Haunted Hill (vincent price), Office Space, comedies, River City Rumble, The Radioactive Rodent. anything by the Coen brothers

Television:

The Joe Schmo Show, The Simpsons, the Daily Show, the Drew Carey Show, The Colbert Report, Beauty & The Geek, House, MythBusters, South Park, Family Guy, The Office, Kids in the Hall, Monk, Porn

Books:

The Art of Deception, The Linguist and the Emperor, Bait And Switch: The (Futile) Pursuit of the American Dream AND PORN!!!

Heroes:

Andy Kaufman, Rene Magritte, P Paul Fenech, Sheena, Tanunda, Jofus, Sparkalakadaka, RAMOOOOOOOOOOOOOOON..

My Blog

my holiday haul

so I'm a couple days late but I figured I'd post my holiday haul.  Lots of DVD's: 40 y/o Virgin Saved! Kids in the Hall Season 1 Simpsons seasons 6 & 7 The Office (Original BBC version) Se...
Posted by Officer Tofus on Tue, 27 Dec 2005 12:07:00 PST

christmas is upon us

so once again it's time for the Carol of the Bells
Posted by Officer Tofus on Tue, 29 Nov 2005 08:43:00 PST

it ain't bad weather. It's a gargoyle attack!

FReckin' huuuuuuge update!!! The baby comes out tomorrow. Natural labor never really started so they're inducing tomorrow at 7am. looks like the birthday will be September 29. I finished up a bunc...
Posted by Officer Tofus on Wed, 28 Sep 2005 09:15:00 PST

Giant Popsicle Melts, Floods New York

so, I've updated my mySpace. not that I ever use it or anything. In case you havent heard, I got married. That means:  I win! I've had my fill of corporate America so I'm exploring the possi...
Posted by Officer Tofus on Mon, 01 Jan 1900 12:00:00 PST

freee music from a gay nun

So, I got an iTunes gift card for christmas. the back has a little sticker that you need to peel off to get the activation code. So I peel off the sticker, and the first few digits of the code are "XX...
Posted by Officer Tofus on Mon, 01 Jan 1900 12:00:00 PST

2004 in Review

1. What did you do in 2004 that you'd never done before? Went to a psychobilly festival. And to Spain. Went to a psychobilly festival in Spain. 2. Did you keep your New Years resolutions, and wi...
Posted by Officer Tofus on Mon, 01 Jan 1900 12:00:00 PST

stupid pretty people

did you ever notice how the "cool new people" section on MySpace is always the best-looking people ever? they're always like hot girls in lingerie on their bed, or at a party. Where are all the In...
Posted by Officer Tofus on Mon, 01 Jan 1900 12:00:00 PST

I feel good

"I knew I could but I really didnt think I ever would It's been a heavy-weapon battle of a fight But at last I finally think I got it right" So i know I mentioned this on LJ. I'm not sure whethe...
Posted by Officer Tofus on Mon, 01 Jan 1900 12:00:00 PST

I'm in my own network.

I just viewed my profile and learned that I am a member of my own friends network. How oddly recursive. How poetically symbolic. I need to go through an extended network of people, worldwide, only to ...
Posted by Officer Tofus on Mon, 01 Jan 1900 12:00:00 PST

Im bored

Living on my own has led me to resort to using some tools of the very bored: craigslist and eHarmony. I hate craigslist. Its loaded with wackos, shitheels, scumbags, grifters, drifters, and perverts. ...
Posted by Officer Tofus on Mon, 01 Jan 1900 12:00:00 PST