Shadow Boxer profile picture

Shadow Boxer

i'm sailing away my own true love.....

About Me

My life is a comedy of errors. I took two girls to homecoming my junior year and went home alone. I will engage you with my letters and entertain you with my stories, but I will disappoint you in person. I daydream about what I will say at my parent's funerals. I hate the irony in hating people who hate everything. I enjoy the company of people who read and dance. Gabriel Garcia Marquez makes my ribs hurt and Chan Marshall makes my pants tight. I have an unhealthy fear of sharks. It haunts me in pools. I have been called a secret asshole. In second grade I wrote the word "ass" on the mirrors in the boys’ room with a bar of soap. Everyone blamed Ronnie Phillips. No one suspected me because I am not the type of person who would do that. Ronnie dropped out of high school and I became the senior class president. I referenced the tooth fairy and Ferris Bueller in speeches during my term. In middle school and into high school I had a secret romance with a girl who lived down the street. I would sneak out to her house in the middle of the night to engage in some heavy petting and a little face sucking. When she graduated from high school she received a boob job as her graduation present. She recently tracked me down and told me that my lack of PDA had a negative impact on her psyche. Butterfly effect? I believe that you should never trust anyone who liked high school. I have unruly ear hair and I will often describe things as fantastic. In seventh grade a girl wrote, “ps. you have a nice butt in my year book." I still do. I beat the shit out of my brother unmercifully growing up. My brother has had sex with the love of my life on several occasions. Each time they have been caught post coitus. The last time my mother mocked them during breakfast for keeping her up all night with their raucous man love. I think hyperboles and double entendres make life more entertaining. I will seek out the foreign and obscure when renting movies from Blockbuster. Nine out of ten times I can't finish the movie. Best Joke Ever: Chicken and Egg are lying in bed, Egg is smoking a cigarette. Chicken says,” I guess we know the answer to that question." Ho Ho Ho. I have a girly voice and latent homosexual tendencies. This often leads to the advances of unwanted suitors and hillbilly assumptions. I drink my coffee black and put sweetener in my unsweetened tea. My friends are funnier then yours, but your friends can probably beat my friends up. I have premonitions of dying in a car crash. This usually happens when I am driving. Bon Jovi's "Young Guns II" soundtrack and Boys II Men's Cooleyhighharmony were my first two tapes. My mother called me a son-of-a-bitch several times growing-up with sincere loathing. I have recently been told that I am not good at keeping secrets. But, if you trust me I am willing to work on it. After graduating college I enlisted in the Marine Corps. I did it for the story and to prepare myself for the inevitable zombie invasion. In Iraq, my buddy Fish would sing Jack Johnson songs to us before we went to bed. When he was done we would turn out the lights and fall asleep to porn. I think I should have found a better source for my stories. But, you best believe I could seriously mangle the undead. I have a tattoo of a fish and a fist respectively. My brother and I were caught watching playboy when we were little kids. I was asked if I wanted to speak with my father about it. I said "no." Playboy was discontinued shortly after. I get incredibly anxious if I think I will miss the previews before a movie. I tend to go to movies alone because of my anxiety. I read books written for girls and I like girls who read books. You should never read a book with embossed lettering or pictures of dragons on the cover. Unless you are 15 or in an airport; then its okay. I carry a picture of a priest in my wallet so I can say Jesus was with me everywhere I go. The Jesuits were my favorite professors, but I don't think I believe in god. I played Magic the Gathering. I am hoping to sell all my old cards to finance my retirement as a fisherman on the Mediterranean. I fear the hereditary nature of my father's gut. I am slowly coming to realize that I will probably marry a woman who can not cook as a well as my mother. This will be good for my gut. Madonna makes me insanely happy. I had a gun held to my head outside a bar in Alabama and by a fry cook at a diner in Baltimore. Dave Matthews Band was my first concert. I do not like Dave any more. Video games are lost on me. I have been dropped in to the Shit, I have searched for the Beach and I walked with the Naked Indian. I was disappointed in all my pursuits. I played the French horn for two weeks in the fourth grade. My father said it was cool. My father listens to classical music and wears bow ties. Only bow ties. I am a two week affair; a passing whim. I am the boy that keeps getting you in trouble with your girlfriend.

My Interests

developing..........................

I'd like to meet:

patriots

Music:

as of late: Feist, Arcade Fire, Amy Winehouse, The Shins, and Wilco.

Movies:

I heart zombies.

Television:

It's all been down hill since Working.

Books:

Of late: The Painted Veil, White Noice and The Road.

Heroes:

HST.

My Blog

correct address

CPL TREVOR S. WILLIAMSHQ/S-4/AMMOCLB 22 DET BUNIT 75156FPO AE 09509-5156
Posted by Shadow Boxer on Tue, 31 Jul 2007 09:13:00 PST

if you find me in your thoughts

TREVOR WILLIAMS / CPL22 MEU DET AS-4 / AMMOUNIT 74042FPO AE 09509-4042Write me. Any time after the 31st. I can't promise a quick response, but I promise I will write back.
Posted by Shadow Boxer on Fri, 13 Jul 2007 10:28:00 PST

Death Tour 2007

Before I get exploded in service to your country if you so desire you can buy me a drink at any following locations.  Thank you. June 29th-The Plains, Virginia. June 30-Syracuse, New York July 1-...
Posted by Shadow Boxer on Thu, 14 Jun 2007 04:10:00 PST

i am about to explode

 24 hours until absolute mayhem.  who still wants in? give me a call or drop me a line.
Posted by Shadow Boxer on Thu, 03 May 2007 02:10:00 PST

the warning

On ship I would lie in bed and listen to "a boy from school'" over and over and dream of silky dance parties.  I could hardly contain myself. God, I miss you George. 4 weeks. ...
Posted by Shadow Boxer on Thu, 05 Apr 2007 09:05:00 PST

starting from scratch.

my profile is gone.deleted by one of these password stealing doosh bags.I hate my life.
Posted by Shadow Boxer on Thu, 22 Mar 2007 08:28:00 PST

today at work

      I learned that when engaging the enemy I should shoot them twice in the chest (vital organs) or pelvic region and then one shot to the face.  And if this did not finish ...
Posted by Shadow Boxer on Thu, 15 Mar 2007 03:29:00 PST

who is in?

Gold Cup 2007. This year we are camping, so make sure to track down tents.  I will be gone for the month of April so all queries will be handled over the phone or through any member of the blog (...
Posted by Shadow Boxer on Thu, 08 Mar 2007 02:31:00 PST

LOCO

 I know it's mean, but calling girls crazy or psycho is hillarious.  It always hits some inner nerve and just sets them off. Give it a try.  Good times.
Posted by Shadow Boxer on Mon, 29 Jan 2007 08:25:00 PST

srsly?

One more year and then some of you fuckers are coming with me to see this, COACHELLA 2006!: Amy Winehouse, Arctic Monkeys, Bjork , Brazilian Girls, Brother Ali, Busdriver, Circa Survive, DJ ...
Posted by Shadow Boxer on Wed, 24 Jan 2007 02:37:00 PST