Jacob - ProfilesArchive

About Me

MAD LIBS!!! Jacob was born on {PROPER NOUN} off the {NOUN} of {PROPER NOUN} during a massive {NOUN}. His father was a {ADJECTIVE} {NOUN} and his mother was a {ADJECTIVE} {NOUN}. At an early age, Jacob took a keen interest in {PRESENT PARTICIPLE} and became the youngest ever {ADJECTIVE} to win the prestigious {SWEARWORD} award. After that, however, things started to sprial downward as Jacob began to dabble in {PLURAL NOUN} and started {PRESENT PARTICIPLE} heavily at parties and social gatherings. Soon, {NOUN} took hold, and Jacob became a {NOUN} of his former {NOUN}. That's when he met {PROPER NOUN}, a {ADJECTIVE} {NOUN} from the streets of {PROPER NOUN} who {PAST PARTICIPLE} him back {PREPOSTION} {NOUN}. The recovery led him to a {ADJECTIVE} {NOUN} as a gunfighter. During a {NOUN} late one December, he shot and killed "{ANIMAL}" Bob McWilliams, the {ADJECTIVE} outlaw from {PROPER NOUN}. Soon after, Jacob married a {NOUN} named {PROPER NOUN} and had {NUMBER} children with her. Jacob died on {PROPER NOUN} eve in 1874. He is buried in {PROPER NOUN}, Wyoming, next to his beloved {NOUN}
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My Interests

Quantum physics, stream of consciouness, musical improvistation, creamy stout, any fruit of the melon variety, the english language, spaghetti westerns, books about cowboys, climbing trees, kittens, and molotov cocktails.

I'd like to meet:

Any counterparts I may have occupying parallel dimensions.

Music:

Third stream avant garde free jazz brass masturbation in organized yet capricious arangements, brutal death and speedy thrash metal grindcore madness, psychedelic pop rock, archaic country blues, orchestral traveling minstrels, mariachis on PCP, film music, and most all of that which is "out there" and even some that is "in here". I dig especially the following instruments: trumpets, pipe organs, vibraphones, xylophones, classical guitars, single-coil electric guitars, upright basses, tablas, dobros, bass clarinets, and the plastic saxophone of Ornette Coleman.

Movies:

The Good, the Bad, and the Ugly; Spasmo; The Beyond; Red Beard; A Fistful of Dollars; Hot Anal Sluts Vol. 6 - 18; Happiness; The Doom Generation; Edmond; 8 1/2; The Big Gundown; Don't Tourture a Duckling; The Big Lebowski; Anchorman; Beowulf and Grendle; There Will be Blood; Yojimbo; The Seventh Seal; Bottle Rocket; The Day the Earth Stood Still; Suspiria; The Godfather; Taxi Driver; etc...

Television:

Little House on the Prarie. And I ain't playin'. Srsly. Little House on the Prarie.

Books:

Tom Robbins; Homer; Bukowski; Mark Z. Danielewski; Dylan Thomas; E.E. Cummings; Terry Brooks; Chuck Palahniuk; Raymond Chandler; William S. Burroughs; Ian Flemming; Mickey Spillane; Jorge Borges; Louis Cleine; Dashiel Hammet; J.R.R. Tolkien; Thomas Pynchon; Cormac McCarthy; Louis L'amore, etc...

Heroes:

Gramma Jean; Charles Bronson; Tom Waits; Miles Davis; Ennio Morricone; Thurston Moore....

My Blog

Look At

look at me. look at how normal i am.i will to bethe most normal memberof my commUnity. note the SupErlative averagesi Flawlessly embody.i could be yoUr roLe modeL.look at how I subscribe to thes...
Posted by Jacob on Tue, 06 Nov 2007 05:10:00 PST

October

And nowamongst these dayswith a darkness early pouring inthat would otherwise feel intrusiveWe calculate the distance of constelations long ahead of the sunset sheathed in the careless whisp...
Posted by Jacob on Tue, 30 Oct 2007 07:05:00 PST

It’s Like a Ride at the Carnival!

The world rotates faster on its axisgains momentumpretty soon it's spinningon and on and so onuntill it's whirlingand we all get caught in itsvortex and spin in unisonand the minuets are pulledfrom ou...
Posted by Jacob on Fri, 12 Oct 2007 05:27:00 PST

When Sandi Attacks: The Tag Blog

C & P'd from Sandi's blog because I'm too lazy to write my own description: Okay, here's how this works: Here's how you play. Once you've been tagged, you have to write a blog with 10 weird...
Posted by Jacob on Mon, 01 Oct 2007 03:57:00 PST

I Got up Really Early Just to Write This

The sun risesBeligerantAnd cussing alarm clocksMake short workOf the silence and calm Dreams are ledHandcuffedInto the backs of dayshift cop carsStill ricochetting like mad waspsWithin their former ha...
Posted by Jacob on Thu, 27 Sep 2007 01:07:00 PST

Lesson One: How to Suck at Guitar

Favorite Chords E something? Inspired by listening to Ennio Moricone e-0B-0G-2D-2A-2E-0 Or you could do it with your finger on the 3rd fret of G, too. Also: C Something? Inspired by listening t...
Posted by Jacob on Thu, 27 Sep 2007 06:37:00 PST

A Pine Forest in Wisconsin at 5:00 am

Cloudy and bewildered as starry amongst the ferns and awkward as Orion in June her mother vigilant over her bony shoulder and I pause for a minute thankful Imagine giving birth to a fawn:all sha...
Posted by Jacob on Thu, 27 Sep 2007 05:58:00 PST

A New Career Choice.

The sun was shinning through the dry and dusty vertical wooden louvres, casting illuminating tiger stripes over my well-muscled chest. I heard the cries of the crowd outside, whipped into a fren...
Posted by Jacob on Mon, 06 Aug 2007 12:17:00 PST

How to Test for Invincibility

I looked down at the panorama below me. The dull smoking city-scape, with it's ominous crooked buildings and cracked streets seemed inviting for once. Fear can motivate like that. I heard the foots...
Posted by Jacob on Sun, 04 Mar 2007 09:07:00 PST

How I want to go.

I think that the coolest way to die would be to get eaten. Preferably by a shark, since they are such majestic creatures. I think when I'm 80 or so, I'm gonna go chumming off the coast of ...
Posted by Jacob on Wed, 21 Feb 2007 02:33:00 PST