Chance ® profile picture

Chance ®

Fuck retail therapy.

About Me

I work too much and I live in Alaska... if you have any more to inquire, I'm sorry I don't have time to answer you. Please be amused with the information I've given. Due to the fact that you are most likely a friend or aquaintance of mine, I would like to apologize for what may have seemed like a rude or short answer to the posted question. It is not my intention to anger any potential future pals or partners, or for that matter even current pals and partners. If indeed the person reading this is a current pal or partner, I thank you for taking the time to visit my virtual self, who has all of the time in the whole world to hang out and do nothing but spend hours with YOU. The lazy piece of shit. Please be satisfied with the non-bitter, well rested, warm and cozy clean and dry persona I have left imprinted for the whole world to enjoy. I can only be jealous that the freeloading cumdumpster can take time out of his sadistic date raping schedule to fucking kick it with MY friends. I hate him, I hate him SO much, he's just another souless sycophyte that can't even fill out his own fucking profile. By the way... John Henry was a pussy.

My Interests

global domination on a neighborly scale, playing with fire, writing, working, boats, water, small... supple children..., anything that is over the top, phil collins, monkeys, books, music, ciggarettes I don't have to buy, rustic things, interesting things, artistic things, the operation of machinery, manual labor, sideways looks, mumbling, hands, amazingly truthful incredibly sweet proposterously cute girls two to five years older than me who are willing to go deep sea fishing and drive heavy equipment, halibut, moose, sex, halibut sex, moose sex, anything you can make out of junk, dumpstering, resource, honesty, heart, devotion, clean... white... paper, excellent food, rants on just about anything, as long as it's not just for the sake of ranting, anyone with a decent glance on anything as long as they don't try to hide it, I like humor, fishing, good company, and beer, walking, jumping, hard looks, i'm interested in ultimately meaning it when i say I really don't care, happiness, and more importantly making people happy, making people stop and think for a second is always nice, music, challenging situations, splitting wood, talking to nobody in particular about somebody specific who is present, boots, sleep, the words rad and "motherbitch", drunken notation of commentary, groups of folks, most growing things, stone work, and spanish rice. I proudly support common sense and logic, but due to my lack of funds my donation is not graciously accepted and my gift package doesn't come in the mail, i'm interested in getting out of going straight to hell, wolf eels, and crabs... old crabs with barnacles growing on them.

I'd like to meet:

Bill Hicks, and anyone who has colors that "do NOT run." oh, and of course Scott's friends, who all walk on rivers of sweet red wine and live in the stars, with Jesus. also, ray troll, from ketchikan.

Music:

I only listen to christian raggae. and this: Fifteen men on a dead man's chest Yo ho ho and a bottle of rum Drink and the devil had done for the rest Yo ho ho and a bottle of rum. The mate was fixed by the bosun's pike The bosun brained with a marlinspike And cookey's throat was marked belike It had been gripped by fingers ten; And there they lay, all good dead men Like break o'day in a boozing ken Yo ho ho and a bottle of rum.2. Fifteen men of the whole ship's list Yo ho ho and a bottle of rum! Dead and be damned and the rest gone whist! Yo ho ho and a bottle of rum! The skipper lay with his nob in gore Where the scullion's axe his cheek had shore And the scullion he was stabbed times four And there they lay, and the soggy skies Dripped down in up-staring eyes In murk sunset and foul sunrise Yo ho ho and a bottle of rum.3. Fifteen men of 'em stiff and stark Yo ho ho and a bottle of rum! Ten of the crew had the murder mark! Yo ho ho and a bottle of rum! Twas a cutlass swipe or an ounce of lead Or a yawing hole in a battered head And the scuppers' glut with a rotting red And there they lay, aye, damn my eyes Looking up at paradise All souls bound just contrawise Yo ho ho and a bottle of rum.4. Fifteen men of 'em good and true Yo ho ho and a bottle of rum! Ev'ry man jack could ha' sailed with Old Pew, Yo ho ho and a bottle of rum! There was chest on chest of Spanish gold With a ton of plate in the middle hold And the cabins riot of stuff untold, And they lay there that took the plum With sightless glare and their lips struck dumb While we shared all by the rule of thumb, Yo ho ho and a bottle of rum!5. More was seen through a sternlight screen Yo ho ho and a bottle of rum Chartings undoubt where a woman had been Yo ho ho and a bottle of rum. 'Twas a flimsy shift on a bunker cot With a dirk slit sheer through the bosom spot And the lace stiff dry in a purplish blot Oh was she wench or some shudderin' maid That dared the knife and took the blade By God! she had stuff for a plucky jade Yo ho ho and a bottle of rum.6. Fifteen men on a dead man's chest Yo ho ho and a bottle of rum Drink and the devil had done for the rest Yo ho ho and a bottle of rum. We wrapped 'em all in a mains'l tight With twice ten turns of a hawser's bight And we heaved 'em over and out of sight, With a Yo-Heave-Ho! and a fare-you-well And a sudden plunge in the sullen swell Ten fathoms deep on the road to hell, Yo ho ho and a bottle of rum!

Books:

i'm currently reading the fountainhead by ayn rand.

Heroes:

Those guys you see at parties, who you KNOW are really big fuckoffs... normally really extra built, especially in the tricept area, talk in deep voices, have tons of energy and are always taunting you with shots. you're already drinking, but they yell "wanna' shot? c'mon, c'mon you scared? don't be a pussy take a shot, c'mon..." maybe they don't see the bottle of whiskey in your hand, maybe they forgot you came to the party to get drunk and that is indeed what's going on. So you go over to the table, and in a subtle way make fun of the guy, normally he's too drunk or stupid to realize the weight of what you're actually saying, but you get the feeling he wouldn't even if he wasn't drunk. So after that few minutes of teasing him, you oblige to take his alchohol, just to sweeten the deal. didn't only get to make him look like a dumbass to his grinning red face, but you also got away with a healthy swig of normally spendy trendy liquor. it's always best if you beat that guy at arm wrestling infront of his girlfriend before the night is over, or maybe start a fight between him and the scratch artist who's there with his clinically depressed 60 pound girlfriend. she might feel better if her shitty tattoo giving boyfriend stopped taking her anti-depression medication and beating her for lack of refills. ontop of that he's got a rockstar complex and, again, the worst tattoo's ever. but yeah, my hero is the huge, stupid, drunken frat boy. if he had superpowers and tights his name would be "targetboy" and I would revel in shooting rubber bands at him all day long. also the person who sent me this note:hi....chance can you be my good friend,,,,,how are you,,,,i wait for your reply.....i hope you reply me:)also my hero. -pants.

My Blog

do what you've got to do.

When I was little. People would ask me what I wanted to be when I grew up.  I wanted to be a captain, a writer, and I wanted to run Miller's Landing, the family business. As I got older, I realiz...
Posted by Chance ® on Sun, 22 Apr 2007 02:57:00 PST

screenplay

I'm writing this screenplay, it's about 5 people who don't know eachother anywhere other than an immersive videogame where they all interact.  They all have kind of fucked up lives which drive th...
Posted by Chance ® on Wed, 14 Mar 2007 08:59:00 PST

heh, kelly clarkson...

i'm so clever.
Posted by Chance ® on Wed, 14 Mar 2007 08:51:00 PST

lit final paper (yeah, I could use comments on this.)

this guy hasn't given an A in over two years, i get an A- on every single paper. I started doing my final by deconstrucing the prompt, thinking I was clever, what ended up happening was a desconstruct...
Posted by Chance ® on Thu, 14 Dec 2006 07:17:00 PST

yeah, i'm gonna do it.

I'm gonna learn to c walk. fuck you. there's actually a website with tutorial videos, if you were curious. after that, it's russian table table dancing. then i'm turning my basement into a club. i'll...
Posted by Chance ® on Tue, 28 Nov 2006 11:37:00 PST

harold and maude, the truth.

what if harold and maude was really about an explosion caused by kinky old person/young person sex?  Imagine: they were getting frisky in the kitchen.  Harold deftly props the 80 year old Ma...
Posted by Chance ® on Mon, 13 Nov 2006 08:19:00 PST

more emo abstract bullshit that should be burned.

holding back bubbles of gaseus mass I too am a bubble that shrinks and grows, expanding with inner pressure against the outer pressure, too small, and I dissolve, too large, and I burst.  A swell...
Posted by Chance ® on Mon, 13 Nov 2006 07:38:00 PST

new shoes.

i did it. i bought new shoes. new boots come in december, but i own a shiny new pair of pumas. yeah, i've never owned shoes like pumas before, for some reason I feel guilty for buying them. They are c...
Posted by Chance ® on Sat, 11 Nov 2006 03:45:00 PST

pre-school discussion with myself (comment on this)

so. starting to realize that being cynical i s a self defense mechanism, and now that I think about it, it makes a lot of ense and just seems obvious.  That hiding behind "realism" really isnt th...
Posted by Chance ® on Wed, 08 Nov 2006 08:58:00 PST

hooray

Congratulations!  Today how selflish were you? I was pretty selfish, I left my basement twice, visited the bathroom once, ate cheap shitty food and didnt' shower. I woke up at 3pm.  As a soc...
Posted by Chance ® on Wed, 08 Nov 2006 11:13:00 PST