The Turdman

Green Turds !

For a month, I have been promising green turds. Many thought I was not going to deliver these beautiful green turds as promised. But I have finally succeeded in producing these wonderfully potent gree...
Posted by The Turdman on Wed, 16 Apr 2008 08:46:00 PST

Turd Survey

I found this turd stuck to my pop’s ceiling in the bathroom. At least I think it’s a turd ? How did it get stuck to the ceiling ? Many great minds have created theories. My brother G-Money...
Posted by The Turdman on Thu, 20 Mar 2008 12:37:00 PST

Dangerous day for the Beatie Patrol !

Today I had one of the most challenging days of my career. I was stationed at my post when I recieved a call from an anonomyous tipster about an abandoned house inhabited by a pack of rabid dominicans...
Posted by The Turdman on Tue, 20 Nov 2007 10:44:00 PST

Why the chicken ?

Where would Beatie be without his trusty cock ? The story behind the chicken is me ! Back in the days when these San Juan hoochies didnt even see me, I had to go to desperate measures to get mines ! O...
Posted by The Turdman on Mon, 30 Apr 2007 09:07:00 PST

Black Ass Attack !

Today was a good day for Beatie Cocker ! I know this fine Puerto Rican Mami who has a nice dark brown chocolate complection. A couple months ago she let me take her to the telly and Beatie cocker ate ...
Posted by The Turdman on Tue, 10 Jul 2007 08:57:00 PST

Lil Cockers

Beatie Cocker wants to be your baby's daddy ! I have always loved children, for real ! I am not able to see my own so I want to be a suregent father to as many lil cockers as possible ! This is n...
Posted by The Turdman on Thu, 05 Jul 2007 06:19:00 PST

Beatie Cocker reporting for duty !

Today I packed 2 packs of hot dogs and a pack of american cheese in my lunch bag to satisfy my intense appetite at work. Hunting down wayward Dominicans can build up a tremendous appetite, but Puerto ...
Posted by The Turdman on Mon, 05 Nov 2007 11:02:00 PST

Beatie Patrol

Beatie Patrol Dont ask what your country can do for you, ask what you can do for your country. I am Beatie Cocker, security officer in charge of Puerto Rico's newest goverment agency, K.I.D.D.O. (Keep...
Posted by The Turdman on Fri, 02 Nov 2007 12:02:00 PST

COCKER THOUGHTS!

I AM BEATIE COCKER THE FIFTH ELEMENT OF HIP-HOP! WALK A MILE IN MY SHOES TO REALIZE THE ESSENCE OF BEATIE! I AM OLD SCHOOL AND NEW SCHOOL AS I WEAR OUT MY TIMS AND MY NY YANKEE CAP! BUT I AM ALSO VERY...
Posted by The Turdman on Sun, 23 Sep 2007 11:40:00 PST

Cock fighting in Puerto Rico

Im so fuckin drunk right now ! I wanna tell you a little bit about Puerto Rico's national pastime...Cock Fighting ! I had never been to a cock fight before but when youre living hip hop in Carolina, y...
Posted by The Turdman on Fri, 04 May 2007 11:59:00 PST