Anastasia Beaverhousen - ProfilesArchive

About Me

"Before" "After"
I LOVE to laugh!! I always end up laughing because it hurts and it hurts because I am laughing.
My mind is a sponge for knowledge, but is 80% nonsense (95% on a good day). I love to be underestimated and thrive on humiliating people who think they are superior to me. I am not nearly as stupid as I look. You can call it being mean, I simply see it as punishment for stupid behavior and making snap judgements of me when you have nothing to base your decision on. Do not assume I am an idiot until you can prove it!
I also am a volunteer in the Big Brother/Big Sister Program and have grown very fond of my Little Sister. Little does she know, but she is my Mini Me and one day we will take over the world together, piece by piece. When we do, if you are our friend, you can stay. All others will be locked in dungeons throughout the world until one by one, they are fed to my pet ligers F*ck with me or her and you WILL suffer my girly wrath!!
Thank you, drive through!

My Interests

I generally don't follow direction so I'm going to put what I want here and not what Tom wants. =P

Here's me and My Little Poni . . . Hi mom!!

My two kids . . . Bruno and Nadia. Aren't they precious?? Labor was a bitch (and so is Nadia).

AAAAHHHH!!!! Thank you my little four legged friend Foxy Lady and to your Mommy the gorgeous Jenny!!

You two are the greatest for making this for me!!! MUUUUAAAAH!!!

I'd like to meet:

Only requirement: Excellent sense of humor. Other than that, try me. I will let you know if/when I don't like you!! If you find yourself on my list one day and not the next, consider that my memo to you that you suck and I wish Jeffrey Dauhmer was alive to eat you.

Oh yes, who I would like to meet . . . I would like to meet Mike Shinoda

And Johnny Knoxville

BTW, if I actually add you as a friend and you post a comment to "thank me for the add" or you ask me at some point to "whore you," I will delete you immediately without giving it a second thought!! I find that phrase and request far too annoying and it only makes you look desperate, needy, and as sharp as a marble. Desperation and stupidity are highly unattractive features in any person, regardless of the aesthetic. . . . you were warned . . .

Hey, have any of you realized that over the past few minutes it has taken you to read my profile, I have not only controlled you, I've also controlled your mind and thoughts?? LOL You were my bitch!! Today's lesson was brought you by the letter "I" and the number "2." Have a nice day Soogar Boogar!

Movies:

So you can stalk me and follow me to the theatre?? How 'bout . . . NO!!

Books:

Menu at Carrow's. Long Live the Jumpy Monkey Sundae!!

My Blog

My Deepest, Darkest Secret

HA HA, Monkeys always look!! Suckers!! Na na na na poo poo!! ...
Posted by Anastasia Beaverhousen on Fri, 16 Mar 2007 08:09:00 PST

Test for Dementia

Below are four (4) questions and a bonus question. You have to answer them instantly. You can't take your time, answer all of them immediately. OK? Let's find out just how cleve...
Posted by Anastasia Beaverhousen on Fri, 03 Feb 2006 08:30:00 PST

Friends vs Best Friends

Friends: Never asks for anything to eat or drink Best friends: Help themselves and are the reason why I have no food! Friends: Calls your parents by Mr. and Mrs. and Grandpa, by Grandpa Best friends: ...
Posted by Anastasia Beaverhousen on Thu, 19 Jan 2006 09:13:00 PST

Hangover Rankings

Did two blogs about drinking . . . . now one for the hangovers!! 1 star hangover (*) No pain. No real feeling of illness. Your sleep last night was a mere disco nap which is giving you a whole ...
Posted by Anastasia Beaverhousen on Thu, 19 Jan 2006 08:54:00 PST

Bar Room Translations

* "You get this one, next round is on me." (We won't be here long enough to get another round.)* "I'll get this one, next one is on you." (Happy hour is about to end...drafts are now a dollar, but by ...
Posted by Anastasia Beaverhousen on Thu, 19 Jan 2006 08:52:00 PST

Five Stages of Drunkeness

Stage 1 - SMART This is when you suddenly become an expert on every subject in the known Universe. You know you know everything and want to pass on your knowledge to anyone who will listen. A...
Posted by Anastasia Beaverhousen on Thu, 19 Jan 2006 08:49:00 PST

True Friendship

Some of you have probably heard this all before, but I DON'T CARE!!! You will listen to it again and LIKE it!! =P 1. When you are sad -- I will help you get drunk and plot revenge against ...
Posted by Anastasia Beaverhousen on Mon, 09 Jan 2006 06:03:00 PST

According to Diesel, this is my New Years!

According to Diesel, here is our New Years . . . (Sorry Deez, I stole your blog but it was too funny not to share!!) "It all started with a phone call inviting me out for New Yeares Eve.. I should h...
Posted by Anastasia Beaverhousen on Sat, 31 Dec 2005 01:38:00 PST

2006 Resolutions

So I stole these from Darren Carter. I still agree with each one!!! This year I'm going to really stick to my New Years' resolutions. Only this time I'm going to do things a little differ...
Posted by Anastasia Beaverhousen on Wed, 28 Dec 2005 08:29:00 PST

Happy Festivus!!!

I am officially celebrating Festivus this year!!! Thanks to Lunchbox!! This was in the news: ERIE, Pa. - The celebration of Festivus is alive and well in northwestern Pennsylvania, nearly...
Posted by Anastasia Beaverhousen on Sat, 24 Dec 2005 10:39:00 PST