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thehotlibrarian

You know when I’m down to just my socks, it’s business time. That’s why they call them busines

About Me

I'm a book slinger by trade. I carry a knife in my boot. Sometimes I write here and yes I'm ashamed, but not as ashamed as I am for having a myspace. That's about all *you* need to know.

..

My Interests

Surfing, snowboarding, scuba diving, soccer (football to purists), traveling, reading, writing (not arithmetic), outdoor showers, and fucking with you. Especially fucking with you.

I'd like to meet:

Bret & Jemaine and most of all MURRAY, Paul Walker, Brad Pitt, Johnny Depp, Jessica Alba, Jessica Biel, Angelina Jolie, Olivia Munn, Keeley Hazell, Cheryl Tweedy, Sidonie Gabrielle Colette, C.S. Lewis, Nabakov, e.e. cummings, Chris Farley (in a time machine), Dwight K. Schrute, Jonathan Antin, Beckham, Rob Machado, Layne Beachley, Victoria Jelouse, Terje Haakonsen, Tony Hawk, Alan Rickman, Hugh Laurie, Jason Isaacs, Vince Vaughn, Anthony Bourdain, Mil Millington, Dale Chihuly, Tiffany Bozic, Amy Sol, Ken Duncan, Art Frahm, Kondoh Akino, Camille Rose Garcia, and Sailor Jerry. However I do not really want to meet Myspace Tom because he's done nothing for me. Yet.

Music:

I will not be judged on my musical tastes. Thank you for your time.

Movies:

In no particular order: Caddyshack, Fight Club, Tommy Boy, Manon of the Spring, Mr. & Mrs. Smith, 40-Year-Old Virgin, Y Tu Mama Tambien, Happy Gilmore, Raising Arizona, The Big Lebowski, Napoleon Dynamite, Run Lola Run, LOTR, 300, Blue Crush, Finding Neverland, Anne of Green Gables, Team America World Police, Blades of Glory, Tomb Raider, Beauty and the Beast, The Departed, Sixteen Candles, Spirited Away, Dazed and Confused, The Breakfast Club, Super Troopers, Better Off Dead, Fast Times at Ridgemont High, The Royal Tenenbaums, Office Space, Casino Royale, The Illusionist, Monster House, Anchorman, Happy Gilmore, Billy Madison, Old School, Benchwarmers, Grease

Television:

FOTC, The Office (British and American), Absolutely Fabulous, Are you Being Served, Blackadder, House, A Bit of Fry and Laurie, The Young Ones, Six Feet Under, Attack of the Show, Real Housewives of the OC and NY, Planet Earth, Nature, Old Simpsons, Arrested Development, Mythbusters, Dirty Jobs, The Sopranos before they sucked, and don't tell anyone about this but Grey's Anatomy has sucked me in with its evil mojo. I HATE MEREDITH AND HER MOUTH SO MUCH.

Books:

The Complete Claudine by Colette, anything by Roald Dahl or Madeline L'Engle or David Sedaris or J.R.R. Tolkien or Lewis Carroll or Bill Bryson, Lolita, The Magic Bottle by Camille Rose Garcia, most travel guides ever written, and about a million other books. Probably more.

Heroes:

The Jessicas Biel and Alba. You might think me joking; I assure you I am not. Their asses alone are my heroes.

My Blog

Wow, they feel really nice. Real orb-like.

I used to think tales of this sort of behaviour were a bit of a joke but it seems there might be a walking cliche skulking 'round the old 'brary today:Man: "Ah there's the lady with the pretty eyes!"...
Posted by thehotlibrarian on Wed, 01 Oct 2008 02:32:00 PST

POWERPASTE! NOW WITH TEN TIMES THE TOTAL ADVANCED WHITENING FRESHENING KAPOW!

One day it occurred to me in the shower (where many things occur to me) that I was in the middle of a toothpaste crisis, or at the very least, a dilemma. For most of my life I've used the same toothpa...
Posted by thehotlibrarian on Thu, 25 Sep 2008 11:12:00 PST

Curiouser and curiouser

I just watched a woman take a pack of gum out of her purse and carry it into the toilet with her. And I asked myself, "Why?" Was she trying to eke out every last productive minute of her day by doveta...
Posted by thehotlibrarian on Tue, 23 Sep 2008 01:52:00 PST

Interesting

Whenever I spend time with my family the backhanded compliments and not-so-subtle digs I collect and keep like baseball cards in a mouldy basement never fail to leave me feeling worthless and sub-stan...
Posted by thehotlibrarian on Mon, 22 Sep 2008 12:08:00 PST

Hold your children tight tonight

One of my coworkers went to Disneyworld and brought keychains back for everyone; they each have our initials on them. My coworker couldn't find one with my initial so this person got a "T" to represen...
Posted by thehotlibrarian on Fri, 19 Sep 2008 01:41:00 PST

Best Day...maybe not *ever*, but in a long time

Okay, so today was AWESOME.  Please see my post here for details.  I'm not trying to promise you a rose garden here, but I promise if you go read my post you will find at least a&n...
Posted by thehotlibrarian on Thu, 12 Jun 2008 03:03:00 PST

Checking in

I posted some random things today.  And I posted something yesterday.  And I've been really busy lately, so I'm sorry I've been gone for a while.  I meant to type "busy" up there&...
Posted by thehotlibrarian on Wed, 04 Jun 2008 10:43:00 PST

For mah Francophiles

I posted another small thing.  Small like your bald mango sauce.  This will make more sense if you read the post, though probably not much more. Thank you and good day.  I SAID GOOD DAY...
Posted by thehotlibrarian on Wed, 21 May 2008 01:35:00 PST

I am sorry in advance

I wrote a post.  Caution...I use the word "wrote" loosely.  Yeah, I took the cheap way out, as per usual, and just reconstituted an email.  Don't judge me, I am fragile.  I've had ...
Posted by thehotlibrarian on Mon, 19 May 2008 03:49:00 PST

I’m going to try to post this only one time, as opposed to the three times of yore

Assorted : 1.  I posted something that will make you feel better about your baking skills. 2.  I was driving home from my boyfriend's house at dusk and saw the largest collection of dee...
Posted by thehotlibrarian on Mon, 28 Apr 2008 03:17:00 PST