The Charliecabra profile picture

The Charliecabra

baret

About Me

This profile is: Compliments of Cuba


Click the Cuba thing....it's a link

Arizona Trip Pictures


This profile was edited with Barets Badass skills
..
And another good one
..
I AM CHARLIECABRA!!!
Here is my story, as told by some idiot
Charliecabra, a name that instills fear into the heart of every man, woman, and child south of the border. Not to be mistaken for Chupacabra, the goat-sucker. No, no, Charliecabra’s viciousness is rivaled by none. It is believed that Charliecabra came to be around approximately 1000 BCE, during a Mayan ritual in Tikal. The Mayans were praying for forgiveness to Chaac, the God of Rain. They believed that their cornfields were being wept out by flash floods because of a great injustice done to Chaac. During this forgiveness ritual, the Mayans would gather around a pool of liquid obsidian, which would be used to make scythes once cooled. On one fateful night, however, the ritual went terribly wrong. Chaac was very displeased with these Mayans for reasons unknown, and conversed with Yum Cimil, Mayan God of the Underworld, to create a monster to punish these Mayans.
Yum Cimil called forth Charliecabra from the pool of obsidian, and Charliecabra ate the souls of 5,000 Mayans gathered at this temple. This genocide of biblical proportions was, quite obviously, not written in the bible because no one cared about South America until we found out how fun scuba diving was. According to legend, Charliecabra stared at these Mayans with his evil eyes, killing them instantly. Then, it would proceed to sucking their souls through their chest. The Mayans fought desperately against Charliecabra, but its skin is made of pure obsidian, and thus impenetrable by mortal weapons. After the bloodshed, Charliecabra sank into the Earth, and was not heard of again for thousands of years. However, many unsolved disappearances in the Latin America region have been credited to this monster over the millennia.
Although there is no documented evidence, Charliecabra is believed to have mystical powers. These powers may include, but are not limited to: Laser vision, instant death to all who look into its eyes, can defy gravity, can pass through solid objects, and can instill fear to all even when wearing a ridiculously flashy sombrero.
In the past few decades, there have been a few “sightings” of Charliecabra. The authenticity of these sightings, of course, is disputed. But to those who claim to have seen it, there is nothing more horrid than a visit from Charliecabra. Supposedly, the first indicator that Charliecabra is coming is the repugnant odor of burning children coming from a small hole in the ground. Upon further examination of this small hole, an onlooker would hear a cochlea-crushing growl from the depths of the burrow. This stunning sound is normally the last thing someone who sees Charliecabra will ever experience. What happens next has not been proven, but apparently Charliecabra grabs its victim by the throat and pulls him or her into its lair, and expelling the skinned, charred corpse sometime later.
Despite all this talk of evil deeds and all that mambo-jambo, I happen to enjoy Parker Jazz, Pedicures, Manual pencil sharpeners, senile physics teachers, fine cigars, and totally rocking out at guitar. Flamenco is probably my favorite.
If you don't know where I am, go to the boardwalk. If I'm not there, try L'auberge. If I'm not there, then you suck
Things I like:
America
lemonheads
steak
Beer.
Jazz music.
Coffee (but not starbucks),
Fine Cigars
eating innocent children
devouring souls
A few things I don't like:
Hippies
Communists
Cheesburger macaroni
People who cut themselves
Hunting
Over-Zealous Potheads
Radical Conservatives
Ridiculously racist bigots
Mayans
The call of the warrior goose
I am the fabled and feared CHARLIECABRA.
Want to know more? IM me at:
iambaretb OR amibaretb
Matthew 6:5-8

My Interests

Remember kids, CLUB SEALS!!!!

Music, History, Looking Fly, Reading, Steak. Not sucking at life.

I'd like to meet:

Tasty Mayan children. Her
^that's a link She's awesome, Like spray cheese awesome.

If you're awesome, I'd like to meet you, too. But you probably aren'tThis site lets you download oregon trail, just like in keyboarding class at south cameron with computers that still run windows 95

Music:

My favorite song at this moment : The Mars Volta - Day of the Baphomets

My Guitars. I don't have a collection or anything, but I'm content with what I have. The one on the left is a '72 Stratocaster and the one on the right is a Fender ESA-10 acoustic/electric. It's one of the new models with the electric controls on the inside of the hole

Take note that the axes in the background are my brother Aaron's, not mine

Movies:

Pulp Fiction
Lucky # Slevin
Monty Python and the Holy Grail
Desert Fox: The Story of Rommel
Charlie and the Chocolate Factory
Anchorman
Office Space
Patriot
Windtalkers
Kal ho Naa ho
The Manchurian Candidate
A Streetcar Named Desire
Dead Poets Society
American History X
Kids
Fantasia
Almost Famous
Rockstar
Detroit Rock City
Donnie Darko
Clerks 1 & 2
Fern Gully....uhh.....Fern Gully 2?

Television:

Nostalgia Corner
I took all the videos off, I was tired of my myspace being so cluttered History Channel
Adult Swim
Comedy Central Presents
Wonder Showzen
the Military Channel
Colbert Report
The Daily Show
Conan
Leno
SNL

Books:

Life Expectancy
Redwall series
Harry Potter series
Anything by Jack London
Fatherland
The Da Vinci Code
The 'Ender's Game' quartet, as well as the subsequent 'Bean' quartet
Deception Point
History Stuff
The U.S. Constitution

The New AMERICAN Bible "you know, the one where Jesus is in the NRA and uses a 50 caliber rifle to go roman hunting"

Heroes:

Jonny Greenwood
Thom Yorke
Matthew Bellamy
Freddie Mercury
Zakk Wylde
FDR
Napolean Bonaparte (as in not napolean dynamite)
Rodney Dangerfield(the man never got any respect)
You

Charliecabra

My Blog

Here's some sick, twisted, slightly poetic justice.

MILWAUKEE - An 11-year-old girl who allegedly had sex with as many as 20 people as a 16-year-old girl watched and coached her has had   HIV since birth, an alderman who met with the family said ...
Posted by The Charliecabra on Sat, 09 Sep 2006 08:21:00 PST

Don't go see World Trade Center the movie

Let me start this off by saying that if you already saw it before reading into my wise and ultimately truthful writings, you are forgiven. You were mislead. It happens all the time. Anyways.  &n...
Posted by The Charliecabra on Thu, 10 Aug 2006 11:05:00 PST

They say ignorance is bliss...

And I've decided to take this into account. Because it's true. Look how happy you are. I have decided to stop watching the news, reading the paper, looking up anything, or paying attention to current ...
Posted by The Charliecabra on Sat, 29 Jul 2006 02:29:00 PST

Plagiarism of JESUS??? are you kidding me?

Dan Brown is getting sued for plagiarism Read that link and you will see why I fucking hate Christian radicalism. People like that make the rest of us level-headed, Jesus loving Christians look like i...
Posted by The Charliecabra on Tue, 11 Apr 2006 10:22:00 PST

ADD much?

Anyways. oh, this doctor says i have ADD, so I do. That means I can use it as an excuse for whenever i want to fuck off and not pay attention because it's not my fault, it's the chemical imbalances in...
Posted by The Charliecabra on Tue, 21 Mar 2006 08:16:00 PST

No, seriously...you can shut up now.

Did any of you watch that Hurricane Rita documentary on channel 7?Wow, what a crock of shit."Many evacuated, but a few brave journalists chose to stay behind"Yeah, in fucking Lake Charles....you know ...
Posted by The Charliecabra on Wed, 08 Mar 2006 07:21:00 PST

The top 10 myths of lamps and plastic

1. Plastic is not a member of the European Union.2. Plastic is not made of pure magic.3. Plastic is not the second coming of our lord and savior Jesus Christ.4. Plastic is not an efficient mid-evil si...
Posted by The Charliecabra on Mon, 07 Nov 2005 05:08:00 PST

I caught an alligator with a net. How much more badass can I be???

Hey! Remember that time we went out on my pond and I caught an alligator with a net? No? Ahh....that's because you aren't in the cool club and you didn't come. Loser. Anyways here's the story. Yea. So...
Posted by The Charliecabra on Thu, 18 Aug 2005 04:07:00 PST

10 reasons why Cigars are better than cigarettes.

    10. Cigars taste better 9. Cigars make you feel good.   4. Cigars don't have anywhere near as many additives as cigarettes. They are just grade A quality tobacco in a nice brown t...
Posted by The Charliecabra on Mon, 01 Jan 1900 12:00:00 PST

I'm pretty sure everyone has seen this....but....

http://www.drunkreport.com/myspace.htm     It's true...for the most part.
Posted by The Charliecabra on Mon, 01 Jan 1900 12:00:00 PST