☆Crass Strangled☆

☆ NOTICE: PUBLIC WARNING! CRASS aka Crass aka Gary (Editor) of www.strangled.co.uk and The Burning Up Times online Stranglers magazine - member of new BritPop Combo THE FEB 21's – also writer of writings, scribbler of scribblings, imbiber of all things, author of verity, inquisitor of happiness, decoder of reality, decypherer of women, debunker of myths, deducer of innocence, discoverer of enlightenment, dodger of prudence, drinker of exuberance, lover of nectar and impulsive and excessive consumer of ambrosia and useless information and MUSIC LOVER - and film locations fanatic - and songwriter - and international worldwide, universal, national, globally (and urinal wall)-cited galatial spatial authority expert textpert and cultural commentator know-it-all on THE STRANGLERS and all things STRANGLERED. ☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆ ☆☆☆☆☆☆☆ Since getting blitzed in year zero 1977 by The Stranglers, and helping out on Strangled magazine in his teens - this lead to the publication of THE BURNING UP TIMES PDF and unofficial Stranglers site www.strangled.co.uk. Through this, Crass has been fortunate enough to rub shoulders with the band - dine with HUGH CORNWELL ("lovely stuffed peppers and rocket salad") - quaff with JEAN-JACQUES BURNEL at Lambs Health & Fitness ("bottled water, au naturelle, naturally") – shake hands with an a-c-t-u-a-l SEX PISTOL, namely Mr. GLEN MATLOCK (“Only recently washed that hand.”) – got virtually pie-eyed with one-man energy bomb SPIZZ ("Spizztastic evening...") - wined and dined with producer MARTIN RUSHENT who aired his pipeline remixes of the Human League - and shared several/cups of/lapsang sooooshong with / EX / CRASSER – THE BAND, NOT THE MAN THIS TIME/ /PENNY/RIMBAUD//./ Fack the politically minded? Yes Sir. CRASSY was a big CRASS fan, hence his MySpace moniker. No rest for CRASSYBOY: each weekend he dons his bomber jacket with al his old button badge collection on with pride, and even watches PUNK DVDs quite a lot. Did you know he even spikes up his hair some weekends? What a TRUE PUNK ROCKER! At least he's still got his own Barnet!CR.A/SS divides his leisure time between bottles of beer and working hard on RENOVATING his house in Essex: it's a 1920's CONVERTED VICARAGE. Him and wifey Ellie bought it back in 1991 when it was just an average ex-council house and together they have been converting it a 1920's vicarage. No one really knows why - but that's their parable. Everyone knows CR(A)SS is a really friendly guy, but he doesn't suffer fools gladly. In fact, he's really glad fools suffer. He particularly dislikes self-delusional boring albinos with attitude - a term he likes enough to possibly form a band with such a handle in the near future. He also dislikes shit-stirring pygmy pensioners - which might even end up a song title for the 2008 demos. Stay tooned, CR(A)SS might one day make the charts, even if it's Dulux Paint colour charts. To infamy and beyond! Upwards on onwards! STRANGLED CRASS-IN-BLACK was recently bo-selekted for THE STRANGLERS long SERVICE fan MEDAL – a gong of distinkshun to go alongside his BLUE PETER badge and CRANIAL HYPER TROPHY along with his work on www.strangled.co.uk. The presentation will take place after March at a hotel in London; already a team of scriptwriters have been dispatched (scraping the barrel of wit in other words) to scribe CRASS' cool acceptance speech which will give a nod in the direction of friends and family, and his fairy godmother - and also raise a bottle to that "interesting breed who sychophantically suck up to The Stranglers, scoring Brownie points by their shite-stirring malinformed misinformation!"Crass is a government operative. Seats of learning Crass attended, past and present... A Grammar School For Boys where he never burned down the sixth form huts because that is arson and that is very, very wrong indeed... A University... and an Academy... That's My Space - now go 2 Your Space/.// :+)☆