Bea Arthur fighting a raptor profile picture

Bea Arthur fighting a raptor

This is so much better than underpants.

About Me



What Famous Leader Are You?
personality tests by similarminds.comI'm not a fan of drug users, nor am I a fan of straight-edge kids. I haven't been mentally attracted to anyone in quite a long time. I'm pissed off at the people on ESPN's "Baseball Tonight" for making up new statistics, e.g. WHIP and OPS. If you don't have manners, I don't want to deal with you. Illiteracy is on the rise in America, and I blame MTV and the Internet. I think George Carlin is no longer funny; he's just an angry old man. Jay Leno seems to be an enemy of comedy. Marlboro Lights from Virginia taste a little different than Marlboro Lights from New York. If I can afford it, I'd like to live on Long Island forever. Everyone should visit Yankee Stadium at least once in his or her life. This is all filler. I'm a left-handed guitarist. I don't want any brown M&Ms backstage. In the past, when someone I didn't know on MySpace randomly asked me to be their friend, I would often oblige because I would have felt bad rejecting them, but now I don't care. I think Michael Jackson is guilty. The two-part "Family Ties" episode "A, My Name Is Alex" is Michael J. Fox's best work. Tara Reid doesn't do anything for me. I really liked Crystal Pepsi. I bought a camcorder in October 2002, and I sometimes think I wasted my money. Bob Davie was a disgrace as coach of Notre Dame's football team. Rage Against the Machine was too political for my taste. Feminism is just downright silly. I can't taste the difference between Pepsi and Diet Pepsi. I've come to the realization that even if Guns N' Roses ever release "Chinese Democracy", it's probably not going to be worth buying. God, I hate goths. Caps Lock makes me hate you a whole bunch. Books that I read when I was in elementary school remain my favorite books of all time. No one ever wants to settle disputes with a dance-off :(. The WNBA is never going to attract male fans. Fuck PETA. Soccer's rising in popularity, and I don't really care for it. Topical humor works on television, not in real life. Girls who are really into cars are not what I'm looking for. I don't think "humor" related to pimps and/or pimping is funny, but I do enjoy hookers. I know all the words to REM's "It's the End of the World as We Know It (And I Feel Fine)". TV's Jon Stewart thinks I smoke pot. Maybe it's just me, but the back of Louisiana's state quarter looks like an arcade token. Angelina Jolie seems like one of the most boring celebrities around. I bet she doesn't laugh a lot. Mallrats is an underappreciated movie. Conan O'Brien danced roughly 15 feet away from me. This is all filler. 32 cool points to whoever can identify what movie character Mike Myers (as Austin Powers) was quoting when he said "This is my happening and it freaks me out." Philosophers are not as interesting as Woody Allen. I think I hate Italians. I really wish girls I know would stop cheating on their boyfriends and stop getting pregnant. If I ever meet a gay guy named Roy G. Biv, well, I'll just find it appropriate. This is all filler. A teacher from my high school appeared in a porno with a horse. My friend's lesbian co-worker beat up an autistic kid because he kept saying she was a guy. Old people at bars like to talk to me and my friends about really perverse things. Old people at bars need to stop doing that. Everyone claims to be open-minded in the "About Me" portion of their MySpace profiles. They're all liars. A pizzeria near my house employs roughly 50% of Islip High School Class of 2001 graduates, and it's really awkward when they deliver pizza to me. It's like "Hey, Jon Rubino, remember when you put your hand over the bunsen burner to see if it was still on? That was funny. Here's a three-dollar tip. See you next time I'm hungry." I wish ravers would stop saying "plur". Smoking pot is fucking stupid. I'm pretty happy Bob Marley's dead, but maybe white people wouldn't celebrate him as much if he were still alive, so it's a double-edged sword. Balls. People are stupid about windmills. You shouldn't wear camo if you can't spell "camouflage". I like to listen to music at a reasonable volume. Corn on the cob is good, but corn off the cob is spectacular.

My Interests

music, movies, television, books, magazines, newspapers, playing guitar, fark.com, Marlboro 27s, Zippos, Jolt Cola, Mountain Dew, hockey, baseball, football, Islanders, Yankees, Giants, Notre Dame, Iona, sarcasm, irony, Don Hertzfeldt, Dane Cook, Mitch Hedberg, Eddie Izzard, Amy Sedaris, Sarah Silverman, toothpastefordinner.com

I'd like to meet:

Huey P. Newton

Music:

AC/DC, Aerosmith, B-52s, Bad Religion, Bloodhound Gang, Bouncing Souls, Breeders, Brian Setzer, Choking Victim, Cream, Dandy Warhols, Dead Kennedys, Dropkick Murphys, Dwarves, Electric Six, Exploited, Face to Face, Fatboy Slim, Filter, Flogging Molly, Foo Fighters, Franz Ferdinand, George Thorogood and the Destroyers, Goldfinger, Green Day, Guns N' Roses, Hippos, Hives, Horrorpops, Jet, Jimi Hendrix Experience, John Stamos Project, Jonny Lang, Joykiller, Kaki King, KMFDM, Korn, Korro, Lars Frederiksen and the Bastards, Led Zeppelin, Less Than Jake, Lit, Living End, Lunachicks, Mad Caddies, Marilyn Manson, Mindless Self Indulgence, Misfits, Monkees, Mudvayne, Nekromantix, Nicotine, Nine Inch Nails, Nirvana, NOFX, No Patience, Offspring, Operation Ivy, Outkast, Oxymoron, Paul Simon, Pearl Jam, Pennywise, Phantom Planet, Pixies, Queen, Queens of the Stone Age, Ramones, Rancid, Reel Big Fish, Render, Rolling Stones, Save Ferris, Saves the Day, Slipknot, Smashing Pumpkins, Social Distortion, Soul Asylum, Spacehog, Steppenwolf, Steve Miller Band, Stone Temple Pilots, Stooges, Sum 41, Swingin' Utters, System of a Down, Tenacious D, Trans-Siberian Orchestra, Transplants, Tsunami Bomb, U2, Unwritten Law, Vandals, Veruca Salt, Voodoo Glow Skulls, Weezer, Weird Al Yankovic, White Stripes, The Who

Movies:

Airheads, Almost Famous, American Beauty, American Pie, Angus, Animal House, Austin Powers 1-3, BASEketball, Batman 1-3, Best in Show, Bill and Ted's Excellent Adventure, Boondock Saints, Bully, Cheats, Chicago, Clerks, A Clockwork Orange, Clueless, The Crow, Death to Smoochy, Die Hard 1-3, Dodgeball: A True Underdog Story, Dogma, Donnie Darko, Down with Love, Dumb and Dumber, Elf, Empire Records, Eyes Wide Shut, Ferris Bueller's Day Off, Fight Club, 40 Year-Old Virgin, Garden State, Ghost World, Go, Hackers, Harold and Kumar go to White Castle, I Heart Huckabees, Idle Hands, Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back, Kids, Kill Bill: Volume 1, Little Shop of Horrors, Magnolia, Mallrats, Meet the Parents, Not Another Teen Movie, Ocean's Eleven, Office Space, Old School, Orange County, Pee-Wee's Big Adventure, Phat Beach, Pulp Fiction, Punch-Drunk Love, Reservoir Dogs, Return to Oz, Road Trip, Rocky Horror Picture Show, Royal Tenenbaums, Rules of Attraction, Run Lola Run, Seven, Shrek, Sin City, Slackers, Snatch, South Park: Bigger, Longer and Uncut, Spun, Super Troopers, Team America: World Police, Terminator 2, There's Something About Mary, Toy Story 1 and 2, Trainspotting, Wayne's World, The Wedding Singer, Wet Hot American Summer, The Wizard of Oz, Zoolander

Television:

Animaniacs, Andy Richter Controls the Universe, Aqua Teen Hunger Force, Arrested Development, Beavis and Butthead, The Boondocks, Buffy the Vampire Slayer, Chappelle's Show, Charles in Charge, The Daily Show, Daria, Degrassi Junior High, Entourage, Even Stevens, Extras, Family Guy, Freaks and Geeks, The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air, Friends, Full House, Futurama, Gilmore Girls, Grounded for Life, Jeopardy, Kids in the Hall, King of the Hill, Late Night with Conan O'Brien, Life with Bonnie, Lucky Louie, Mr. Bean, Mr. Show, My Name is Earl, The Oblongs, The Office (UK), The Office (US), Reno 911, Robot Chicken, SNL, Saved by the Bell, Scrubs, The Simpsons, Seinfeld, South Park, Square Pegs, The State, Stella, Strangers with Candy, That 70s Show, 3rd Rock from the Sun, Tiny Toons, Tough Crowd, Undeclared, Upright Citizens Brigade, The Wonder Years

Books:

All the Dave Barry You Could Ever Want, America: The Book, Assassination Vacation, The Eleventh Hour, Feel This Book, Freak, The Giving Tree, Hearts in Atlantis, Holidays on Ice, A Light in the Attic, Live from New York, The Long Hard Road Out of Hell, Mad Drew: Beyond Coffeedome, Me Talk Pretty One Day, Mr. Show: What Happened?, My Point... and I do Have One, Naked, Naked Pictures of Famous People, Sein Language, Something at the Window is Scratching, Starring Sally J. Freedman as Herself, Take the Cannoli, Twelve, The Westing Game, Where the Sidewalk Ends, Wigfield, anything by Louis Sachar or Judy Blume

Heroes:

Richard Gere's a real hero of mine. Sting. Sting would be another person who's a hero. The music he's created over the years, I don't really listen to it, but the fact that he's making it, I respect that.

My Blog

that winamp shuffle soundtrack thing

Some of these songs don't make sense, but most do and I thought it was nice that Winamp had a laugh at my expense. I skipped over one track when doing this, but that was because it was not a song at a...
Posted by Bea Arthur fighting a raptor on Tue, 27 Mar 2007 11:21:00 PST

soundtrack

soundtrack of your life- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - Opening Credits:Reel Big Fish - Sayonara Senorita Waking Up:BTK - Peppyrock Walking in Slow Motion:The Door...
Posted by Bea Arthur fighting a raptor on Thu, 10 Aug 2006 11:21:00 PST

Bea Arthur Fighting a Raptor FAQ

1. EVER BEEN GIVEN AN ENGAGEMENT RING?no2. LONGEST RELATIONSHIP?: 23 years3. LAST GIFT YOU RECEIVED?a ticket for the FDNY-NYPD football game from Rob 4. Ever dropped a cell phone?yes5. WHEN'S THE LAST...
Posted by Bea Arthur fighting a raptor on Wed, 07 Jun 2006 11:29:00 PST