Mitch’s Bitches

"In two thousand OOOO four in the year of our lord The California Cripplers were founded by Coach Max, with the expressed written consent of Ass-Coach Laura. Songs were sung beer was swilled and the California Cripplers glory was cemented in Chicago history rubbing big shoulders with Mrs.O'Leary's cow, Al Capone, Marshall Fields, The Daley's and Corruption. The following year(2005) Coach Evin grabbed the reigns of this now uncontrolable beast of shit talking, baby saving, orange pushing, and leg humping ballers to succesfully lead the Cripplers to back to back playoff appearences. Although Evin was successful atop mount Crippler even the most powerful leaders must fall... Flash Forward, Summer twenty oh six: Like losing our virginity the Cripplers have lost the California, more focused than a David Lynch film this years Cripplers are going to wash Kickball Chicago in a sea of "Fuck You Red Team"..... Our deer in the headlights leader Coach Lippy and More ass than J-Lo Ass-Coaches Jayno/ Steve 3 have sworn at eachother, inanimate objects, and even their mothers just to bring the world and Kickball Chicago to their knees. To our fellow Cripplers mount up the time for world domination is now, we shall strike deep at the heart of this great city and forever more the rivers shall run red with the heart and soul of the Cripplers."All things end....