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Daniel

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About Me

I'm a laid back guy. I appreciate experimentation, sarcasm, and don't view contradiction in a person as necessarily a bad thing. I used to be good at Scrabble.

My Interests

Watering my plants, feeding my many cats, collecting stacks of old newspaper, avoiding the harsh daylight and the disapproving glares of others. Get it? I'm a hermit!

I'd like to meet:

What I admire in a human being: (1) INTELLIGENCE, including the use of PROPER GRAMMAR AND PUNCTUATION, while still displaying a PLAYFULNESS WITH LANGUAGE. (2) OPEN-MINDEDNESS and a WILLINGNESS TO TRY ANYTHING TWICE, included, but not limited to, TAKING THE LIFE OF ANOTHER HUMAN BEING, regardless of AGE or SOCIAL STATUS. (3) A SENSE OF HUMOR, with proficiencies in "DEADPAN WIT," "FUNNY HA-HA," "FUNNY MAKES-YOU-THINK," and "VISUAL GAGS/PROP HUMOR." HOMOSEXUALITY a plus, and bonus points for HAVING LOTS OF MONEY and AN AMBIVALENT ATTITUDE towards three of the following four: RELIGION, SCIENCE, ART AND POLITICS.

Music:

Broken Social Scene, Grizzly Bear, Sufjan Stevens, Spoon, Arcade Fire, LCD Soundsystem, Hot Chip, Black Moth Super Rainbow, The Decemberists, Clap Your Hands Say Yeah, Boards of Canada, The Go! Team, TV on the Radio, Bloc Party, Of Montreal, Modest Mouse, Beck, Bjork, Radiohead

Movies:

E.T., Porno

Books:

Lolita, Unbearable Lightness of Being, Howards End, Cloud Atlas, The Road, The Fortress of Solitude, Berlin Stories, The Swimming Pool Library, Dorothy Parker stories, Lorrie Moore stories, David Sedaris stories, The Line of Beauty, The Passion, A Heartbreaking Work of Staggering Genius, What is the What, Ghost World, Giovanni's Room, Love in the Time of Cholera, Encyclopedia Brown novels

Heroes:

Drink and Dance and laugh and lie,
Love, the reeling midnight through,
For tomorrow we shall die!
(But, alas, we never do)
--Dorothy Parker

My Blog

Wish List

For Christmas I want pockets, surgically augmented on each hip, spacious as to hold all my valuables but discrete enough to keep my girlish figure, so I stop losing things.Things Lost From My Pockets ...
Posted by Daniel on Sat, 01 Dec 2007 11:04:00 PST

Goodbye KV!

Life was no way to treat an animal, anyway....
Posted by Daniel on Fri, 13 Apr 2007 06:05:00 PST

Birth Anouncement.

On the morning of March 18th, I gave birth to a newborn Nintendo Wii.  The labor was painful but mercifully quick.  I have named him Megatron, after my favorite Deceptacon.  He weighs a...
Posted by Daniel on Mon, 19 Mar 2007 07:13:00 PST

Two Things I Love Join Forces

I've been excitedly awaiting for the debut of this for a while now, and now it's finally here, Stephen Colbert's "Americone Dream":I was hoping for some sort of red, white, and blue concoction but ins...
Posted by Daniel on Sun, 18 Feb 2007 08:56:00 PST

Beware

So this guy with the screen name "Big Gay Rob" tried to friend me, and even though I know myspace is meant to be an impersonable wasteland, I sent him a humorous message asking him how big and how gay...
Posted by Daniel on Tue, 13 Feb 2007 03:40:00 PST

Goddamn I Want to Eat This

http://www.foodnetwork.com/food/recipes/recipe/0,,FOOD_9936_ 32327,00.html?rsrc=searchThis has to be the be-all, end-all mother of meat dishes.  Could someone convert this into tofurducken?...
Posted by Daniel on Sun, 17 Dec 2006 01:35:00 PST

Better Opt For Rice Milk Instead

http://www.wnd.com/news/article.asp?ARTICLE_ID=53327"Soy is feminizing, and commonly leads to a decrease in the size of the penis, sexual confusion and homosexuality."   Clearly the author o...
Posted by Daniel on Thu, 14 Dec 2006 11:10:00 PST