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best in show

I am here for Dating, Friends and Networking

About Me

..

rest those bedroom eyes sleepy head, youve got a long, long way to go...
Because I dream, I am not.
Because I dream...
I dream.
Because at night, I abandon
myself to my dreams...
before I'm left the day.
"I will sacrifice nothing.
For there are no conflicts.
Except me.
And there’s only one transgression.
Me."
-hailey, mzd.
"Once we lay down in a forest. Rain fell & we were a dry space hollowed out of the rain. Under the night black timbers, I shivered until you became enough to warm me. Morning broke, into heavely pieces. All was clear. And the ocean? We stopped to see it - 7 distances, the day - broken up, into glass." - Mark Wunderlich.
its fall. and im falling.. falling down, falling apart, falling in love. its fall. and im wondering.. wondering why, haunted by neon WHY electric glow signs, everywhere i turn. it gets darker now, and the sun she sets too fucking soon, and the moon, the moon she seems so strong but so alone. im like the moon. i orbit around the others around me, watching them, silently. i dont like this season, even though everyone i run into seems to love it, because its an omen, a bad omen, to winter, winter where im frozen, frozen & alone walking through the gray. ive promised myself that i would utilize every idea that came to my mind in attempts to learn all that i can about who i am, and about the people around me. the truth of the matter is, you can never really know what a person is thinking... and that truth is a truth that i wish i could unlearn...
all that matters is love. love is all we have. dont ever take forgranted the people who are around you that you love and care about. tell them right now after you read this that you love them. because its so fucking important and all we are these days are words on machines, text messages, technology and were getting further and further away from the things i believe are most important. physical contact with real people who know you. or even those who dont but who one day might. myspace is not an accurate view of a life. of anyones life. broken down, myspace is code through wires & tubes into machines.
i try to remember who i am every day, even though i am constantly evolving. i collect found objects as a way to document my existance. i take photographs. i like to video tape whole periods of time of my life so that one day i can look back at it and have a better idea as to who i am. i collect virgin of guadalupe icons. i collect a geode a day if i can, if i cant find a geode i find a semi precious gemstone. i watch weird independent movies and art house flicks. i really like stencil & sticker art and i am not trying to be the first person to do anything. i have a million ideas about how i can make original things, i just have such a messy brain that i can never finish what i start. im going to school to be an egyptologist. which means i respect the past. i live in my head a lot. the past haunts me, it haunts me like your worst nightmares. ive lived a life that is worthy of being turned into a hollywood movie. im only happy when the music is loud and im dancing. im really into 'post-rock' & doom metal music, as well as dubstep&grime and minimal techno. i hope to be living outside of the US by next year. i have a keen fashion sense. i am mouthy when i need to be and also silent when i am bored or uncomfortable. i have changed so much as a person and i am so proud of who i am now. im super smart, and these days i dont hide it. i have a lot of ambition. im like exotic food though, in that you either love me or hate me, theres not an inbetween. im alone all the time, even in a room full of people, and im not alone in that feeling. i think the tv show 'pushing daisies' is completely precious and it makes me believe in love again. i collect old books. i think nostalgia should be collected, bottled & put into a pill form.
i choose to believe that those i love who have died still are around me and watch over me. i believe i will see you again. but my heart misses you now.
to quote someone once said "shes got this beautiful edgy sadness to her and i wonder what thats all about..." sagitarius/capricorn cusp kid with libra rising...
.."There will come a time in your life when you will ask yourself a series of questions. Am I happy with who I am? Am I happy with the people around me? Am I happy with what I'm doing? Am I happy with the way my life is going? Do I have a life or am I just living? Do not let these questions strain or trouble you. Just point yourself in the direction of your dreams. Find your strength in the sound and make your transition." - richie hawtin.

My Interests

BEING A BETTER STRONGER MORE FIT HEALTHY CORY, concerts, being a pretentous scene whore, music, promotions, raves, drugs, books, writing, more writing, my own writing, hurricanes, tornados, TSUNAMIS ,nebulas, cactus, adventures, photography, all kinds of photography, art, pottery, making stuff, mexican folk art, mexico, britian, people from either place, swimming, swimming on drugs, sunshine, animals, unrequited love, writing letters using the post office, packages of love through the mail, mail art, altered books, road trips, spontantiality, car crashes, doctor visits, unstable emotional relationships, TWINCEST,playing with other peoples children, pseudorelationships, not working, making stuff, creation & all its various forms, delapadated buildings, animals, museums, art, egyptian stuff, mythology, folklore, ghosts, dead people, dead people on tv, "coffee intellectualism", people who "get it" , not being able to spell properly, the words "rad, superfantastic, cunt, assmarm, doll, & knapsack;" modeling for various art students/ nude sites, politics, people who have actual beliefs and arent completely apathetic, public transportation
the fucking desert that never leaves my fucking dreams ever, music that brings back memories that make me smile or cry, and oh yeah, teleportation.

I'd like to meet:


i read this on david lacapelle's blog - to me it was actually one of the most accurate statements ive read in years... "Talent likes talent, creative likes creative and genius likes genius. And to settle for anything less is to set yourself up for boredom."rock hounds. lovers of ancient societies. a person with whom i can communicate with telepathically. my old friends that i dont speak to right now - but at some point i would love to have back in my life again. myself in 10 years so i can see if i 'made' it or if i fell back into old habits. my twin on different terms.

adopt your own virtual pet!
i suppose, my own personal doppleganger. and anyone else who is down for a good time, a random adventure, and someone who is willing to be a clyde to my bonnie.

& a boy named wim.

Music:

AHHHH I DELETED ALL MY MUSICAL TASTES ON ACCIDENT! FUCK!its all post rock, techno, prog house, things with a deep beat, jungle & dnb, dubstep, grime, house music only when nic plays it with luan or by himself otherwise if im there its only cos im supporting a friend, hole, spirtualized, low when i want to kill myself, bright eyes, whatever new mixes i obtain from my awesome friends, mogwai more mogwai and more mogwai, breaks and more breaks, tech- tech- techie techno, and give it to me minimal too, break it up all nice like my shattered little heart. and yea through in yr classic 90's music, i grew up on it. and dont forget a good dose of industrial music every now and again. its always good to remember your roots. and laugh at being so fucking angry and thinking you knew it all. long live skinny puppy.
mostly, these days, if its got a good beat, if its fucking deep and i can feel it, then you can bet ill be listening to it and shaking my ass. if im not, then its only cos im shaking my ass in the car or my bedroom. im sick of sad music. its time to move on. no more wollowing. i love my sad sad music but i dont want to be sad anymore.... oh yeah, and if its one of those songs that takes me back to a fuckin certain place at a certain time and its got a memory to it, a beautiful memory or one that shattered like glass glass glass - then you can bet i listen to it. music is the love of my life and it keeps me going.obscure post rock bands & stoner durge metal that youve prolly never heard of.

http://www.last.fm/user/bestinshow

Movies:

THE DREAMERS (it reminded me of my twin),genesis, aftermath, cannibal holocost, anything with zombies, run lola run, the princess & the warrior, y tu mama tambien, amores perros, newer mexican cinema, bowling for columbine, spun, beat, pi, reqium, darren afronoski, nacho cerde, darrio argento, various videos of bands, independent film, 21 grams, the united states of leland, crash, ITS ALL GONE PETE TONG!, ginger snaps (one only), waking life, brokeback mountain, american beauty, pretty much anything with keven spacey is good, gattica, being john malcovich, 28 days later, igby goes down, groove, 1992 the year punk broke, my own private idaho, kmfdm the video (count how many times they say kmfdm - i quit after a hundred), live cure videos, documentaries about musicians/djs, breakfast club, ferris, 80s brat pack, heist, aliens (all), mars attacks!, stargate, little miss sunshine, babel, the fountain, north country, stay, the three colors triology... im always up for new movies that are good so feel free to suggest some.

Television:

i mainly watch law & order, csi: miami, various things on dead people, the history channel because i always learn things about dictators that i didnt know about or russian spies or about vietnam and i like to be educated constantly, discovery channel (and its various forms - i think we have three - theyre all great), the bad girls club (i should have been on that show cos none of those girls are bad. i am BAD), six feet under will always have a place in my heart specially the last episode but i cry everytime i watch it, house, medical incredible, or medical misteries (like how did he get that weird disease?), on demand movies - i like to keep up to date, bill maher when hes on hbo regularly, colbert report, and thats about it. i keep this stuff on when im either trying to fall asleep or when im working on art.

Books:

i read way more than a normal person should. ask me about things, because im deep. oh yes, very very deep.hesse, vonnegut, yr typical "great books", books on musicians, crazy memoirs, artistic photography books, zines, palahniuk, books about death, life, love and disaster. greg galloway's AS SIMPLE AS SNOW.

Heroes:

my mother. hands down, flat out, period, she is an amazing woman. my twin. anyone who can make their dreams come true; margrette atwood, published writers, c.love, andy weisser, the queen mum, karin anderson, greg howell(RIP), milena's fat polish booty which always keeps the dance party goin, jeanne dannison's soul & essence, SUZ (rip), sir fidel catro, smart women - always, mrs. barnes, japanese toy makers (KIDROBOT), members of the band mogwai, the guys who write 'chunklet', robb trainer (words wont do justice), luke trainer (again no words), matt davis (taught me how to love), jared zehm, emmy rudman, daire seaman (shes always just so goddamn nice always and means it), frida kalho, tragic artistic figures, misunderstood misanthropes, scientists in general, always, my father because he hasnt given up yet, my brother because he works really fucking hard for what he has and is an amazing tender loving person when he doesnt do his best to make me feel like im a piece of shit, and anyone who stays true to themselves and sticks to what they believe in, no matter how uncool everyone tells them they are - thats amazing stuff...

My Blog

absolutely helpless & utterlly hopeless

its really hard to get up every day, every day is becoming the same perpetual nightmare that i have been leading since i first found myself awaking to the shock of the screetch of tires and the slam o...
Posted by best in show on Wed, 02 Apr 2008 09:21:00 PST

suppose for seconds you forgot your past

Half life wastes before it goesIt’s funny how your bee sting touch never leaves me wholeIt’s not enough to stay here almost tryingYou keep your last laugh watch this dyingIt’s just h...
Posted by best in show on Tue, 01 Apr 2008 08:37:00 PST

its like that nirvana song, only its in my brain

in other happy happy updates in my life, my neuorlogist who prefers not to speak more than a paragraph to me when i drive about 45minutes to see him, informed me that i did more than likely have an an...
Posted by best in show on Thu, 20 Mar 2008 08:36:00 PST

artial septal defect - ie: hole in ones heart

         he tells me to ’’buck up’’ (an old standby from childhood)stop the crying, stop the pity party,you are who you are nowdamaged or not damaged, ...
Posted by best in show on Sat, 15 Mar 2008 11:25:00 PST

walk away

If you walk away, I'll walk awayFirst tell me which road you will takeI don't want to risk our paths crossing some daySo you walk that way, I'll walk this way The future hangs over our headsAnd it mov...
Posted by best in show on Sun, 09 Mar 2008 01:42:00 PST

oh evil me - evil me

   for the first time today in i-dont-know-how-long-because-i-rarely-seethe-with-anger i got so mad that i actually tried to break shit in my kitchen - i threw a hammer into the wall and cau...
Posted by best in show on Fri, 07 Mar 2008 10:11:00 PST

theyre trying to kill me, i swear

  dear god, i really want to know why you have it in for me when it comes to automobiles. i feel like isadora duncan, the great dancer who met her death when her scarf got caught in her model T -...
Posted by best in show on Tue, 26 Feb 2008 02:05:00 PST

inspiration

 it was a warm day when i had stopped inside of columbia's photography museum. columbia college had served as my brief and short affair of  ''proper'' schooling, after high school...
Posted by best in show on Tue, 26 Feb 2008 07:35:00 PST

floating in space

    theres a part of me missing and i cant explain it to anyone. its just that she is gone, and she floats outside, above the highway, out on the ice on the highway - 94 by saline rd, where ...
Posted by best in show on Wed, 20 Feb 2008 11:16:00 PST

human genome

   the tv keeps telling me its time to quit, two blue books are on my floor, with twelve steps i could be working - but ive found that during days like these im less than zero, less th...
Posted by best in show on Sat, 09 Feb 2008 04:39:00 PST