Elusivemoon.com! Layouts, web graphics, web help and more!I work in the adult industry as a personal companion. Yes, you guess it! Escort. Provider. Prostitute. Whore. Lots of words describe what I do. None really totally catch the essence.
I call it a healthy outlet for our sensual natures, to connect with another human being. Intimately. To treat each other with kindness and appreciation for exactly who they are, not what we need them to be. An exchange of beneficial circumstances.
"You be good to the gentlemen, Fancy. They'll be good to you."
I used to be afraid of the power in my feminine energies, my sexuality, my voice, my thoughts, my wants. I hid behind the safety of monogomous marriage for 10 years. And something inside me shrivelled up. I stopped walking tall. I stopped looking people in the eye. I was afraid I couldn't trust myself to have human contact with a male. I was afraid I couldn't resist temptation.
I was isolated. I was alone. I was depressed, even suicidal. I was friendless. I wanted to be unattractive. I wanted to be invisible. I wanted my life to be over with already, so I could go on to the next good life. I was wishing my days away. Minute by minute, I was wishing for tomorrows of stunning brilliance which would never come.
I didn't want to live like that anymore.
Nobody would come to rescue me. I had to get up, look around. And face my fears. Take control of my fears. Take control of myself. Learn my feminine power. And find a way to use my superpowers for good.
Now I walk tall. I think whatever I choose to think. I am in control of my destiny. I put on my makeup and my high heels and meet mens eyes... until THEY look away or blush. But I am a tender mistress to those who fall under my spell. I am kind. I use my powers for good.
And I think it all had to do with finally owning my sexuality, casting off "gender roles" and finally living free. Being me, not serving a role. I learned how to own myself through the very grace of my feminine strengths, which are different than male strengths, but no less wonderous.
"Well you told me all your secrets
and I filled you up with lies
now I'm livin' honestly
because I've said goodbye
I'm not scared and I'm not lonely
I'm not saving all my money, or my breath
I'm not looking for an answer,
or asking anyone to take a second chance."
Indigo Girls
Welcome into my world. This is my journey.
