text america (cell phone pics)yahoo photosNavin R. Johnson: I know we've only known each other four weeks and three days, but to me it seems like nine weeks and five days. The first day seemed like a week and the second day seemed like five days. And the third day seemed like a week again and the fourth day seemed like eight days. And the fifth day you went to see your mother and that seemed just like a day, and then you came back and later on the sixth day, in the evening, when we saw each other, that started seeming like two days, so in the evening it seemed like two days spilling over into the next day and that started seeming like four days, so at the end of the sixth day on into the seventh day, it seemed like a total of five days. And the sixth day seemed like a week and a half. I have it written down, but I can show it to you tomorrow if you want to see it."The two weeks I spent in Barbados was definately a highlight of my trip to Ireland."---------------------------------------------------
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Daisy Steiner: What do you mean you have a funny feeling?
Tim: I can read her like a book
Daisy Steiner: Never judge a book by it's cover
Tim: He who dares wins
Daisy Steiner: Look before you leap
Tim: Do YOU believe in life after love?
Daisy Steiner: That's a song
Tim: Shit.
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Vulva: [noticing Brian at the after-show party] Oh Brian, you came!
Brian: No, I just spilt my drink.
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Daisy: In the end, our relationship was just like a sandwich toaster. You know, you just forget you've got one. And it just sits there on the top of the cupboard collecting a layer of greasy fudge. And even if you do see it you just assume it's broken, you think if it's working I'd be using it all the time, but you don't and it just sits there. Then one day, you get an overwhelming desire for toasted sandwiches, you know? And you get it down and it works, and you can't believe it, you know? And then you make every kind of toasted sandwich there is, you have toasted sandwich parties. You make Marmite and cheese, chocolate and...
Tim: Pilchards.
Daisy: Banana and...
Bilbo: Acorns.
Daisy: Acorns. And then as quickly as the desire comes, it just goes. And then you put the toaster sandwich maker away. And, you know what?
Tim: What?
Daisy: You don't miss it.
Bilbo: So what you're saying is 'Don't hide the toasted sandwich maker away, use him regularly and you'll get the most out of him'.
Tim: No, she's saying 'Chuck your boyfriend, have a sandwich'.
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Mike: In 1994 while on weekend manoeuvres in France, I commandeered a Chieftain tank without permission of my immediate superiors. I then attempted to invade Paris. However, en route I stopped off at Disneyland, or Eurodisney as it was then called, and was subsequently apprehended on Space Mountain.
TA Officer: Do you have any explanation as to why you might have done this?
Mike: Well sir, at the time, I was suffering from serious emotional problems that had clearly affected my judgement. I had immersed myself in a fantasy world of my own creation and as a result I became very insular and uncommunicative.
TA Officer: Why do you think that was?
Mike: [Shrugs] I dunno.
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Daisy Steiner: Do you really watch porn in the flat?
Tim Bisley: Uh... only when you're out. Sometimes while you're asleep in the bean bag.
Daisy Steiner: Can I borrow some?
Tim Bisley: Uh... Yeah.
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ALI G: When you went to da moon, was da moon people friendly, or did they scare you?
BUZZ ALDRIN: We had no hopes of finding any life there whatsoever.
ALI G: When is man going to walk on de sun?
BUZZ ALDRIN: It's much too hot on the sun; we can never go there.
ALI G: We could go in de winter, when it's colder.
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Ali G: Whats the smallest fing in da world?
Profesor: Sub-atomic particles
Ali G: But is they smaller than salt?
Professer: Yes, much much smaller!
Ali G: But they can't be smaller than flour? flour is so small its hard to pick up! and sand! thats fuckin' small!
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