laura

Once upon a time in a land far, far away (brighton) a strange creature washed upon the shore, mixed up in a big pot by aliens she consisted mostly of dim sum, peri peri hot sauce, and was grown in a cabbage patch where the musically stunted aliens played a healthy diet of the smiths to make her grow, and grow she did. She grew so tall on waves of lovely lyrics that the aliens got scared of her and tried to kill her with ninja mercenary mice. Little did they know she had latent dance mat skills, and with a slightly goofy, hunch backed repertoire of moves she destroyed the craft and fell into the sea, washing up in the picnic basket of a rather unhappy bunch of Rodrigues's. They tried to educate and domesticate the creature and all seemed to be going well until one day she chanced upon a local drinking establishment, whereby the mere whiff of alcholic intoxitants sent the she-devil into a frenzy that to this day has yet to be curbed.