Joshua Something profile picture

Joshua Something

Q: How many kids with ADHD does it take to screw in a....OH LOOK! A PENCIL!!!

About Me

I swear a lot. I shouldn't, especially since I have two sons who do everything I do. I like violent movies. Which I shouldn't watch because it only feeds the violent nature which I hold at bay behind this mask I wear. I believe in the Judeo-Christian God. I shouldn't, because all logic tells me to believe in things I can taste, touch, smell, hear and see. I pray, a lot. Mostly by myself because, truth be told, I get embarrassed when I pray in front of people because I don't feel 'cool', I feel vulnerable, and I hate feeling vulnerable. I have a HUGE crush on my wife. I stare at her, a lot. I would probably be arrested for stalking if I wasn't already married to her. I'm REALLY judgmental of homeless people. Especially white homeless people. But am getting better at catching myself in the act and shaming myself for it. All in all, I'm an ass who loves his family. Wanna be my friend? I'm warning you up front, I'm a flake, but I'll help you move anytime you ask. ..

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My Interests


I love to draw tattoos for people. I love reading, thinking, watching people, eating good food, drinking good wine, laughing with friends, learning new things about new people, pondering my existence in this life and the next, and I love your mom. I love pain. I love pleasure. I love things that make people cry and things that make others sing. I love tight leather and loose cotton. I love to bleed and I love to heal. These are a few of my favorite things...

I'd like to meet:

Everybody says they want to meet Jesus. Not me. That would mean I am dead. I'll see Him when I die. Right now, I'd like to meet Katt Williams, Charlie Murphy and Maynard James Keenan.

Music:

TOOL (duh), 8STOPS7, GWAR, Muse, 30 Seconds to Mars, Pink Floyd, Wolfmother, The Faint, old Metallica, Korn, Interpol, The Killers, White Zombie, Kid Rock, A Perfect Circle, Mastadon, Slipknot, Mudvayne,Tenacious D, The White Stripes, The Mars Volta, 50 Cent, Eminem, Sifl and Olie, Pantera, Guns N Roses, Prince (so?!), Your Mom... awww hell, too many to list!

Movies:

300, The Transformers, The Matrix Trilogy, the Star Wars Saga, Primer, Pirates of the Caribbean 1 & 2, History of Violence, Underworld, Final Fantasy: Spirits Within, Final Fantasy: Advent Children, Hedwig and the Angry Inch, Super Troopers, Bubble Boy, Requiem For A Dream, Pootie Tang, Equilibrium, The Fifth Element, Fight Club, Harrison Bergeron, Pink Floyd The Wall, Napoleon Dynamite, Donnie Darko, Boondock Saints, Hostel, Silent Hill, Ong Bak, Big Trouble in Little China, Spirited Away, What The Bleep Do We Know, A Scanner Darkly, Mallrats, Hellboy, Old School, Zoolander, Blade 1 & 2, The Fifth Element...and more!!

Television:

LOST, Heroes, Aqua Teen Hunger Force, Family Guy, Man vs Wild, The Simpsons, The Brak Show, The Office, anything on the History or Discovery Channel.

Books:

Everything by Dan Simmons, Hyperion, Fall of Hyperion, Endymion, Rise of Endymion and most of all Ilium and Olympos! Wild At Heart, also anything by H.P. Lovecraft!!!

Heroes:

Jim Anchower... oh, and my father. He taught me how to be a man.

My Blog

Silver Lake

Silver Lake Somewhere adrift in my early twenties, I found myself wandering along a crude path my friends and I had discovered during one of our usual strolls through Van Patton Woods. The path was a ...
Posted by Joshua Something on Thu, 14 Dec 2006 01:57:00 PST

Quantum Gravitus: The evolution of man, science and spirit.

During the Second Renaissance, the machines performed a vast amount of experiments on the humans they captured. They tried to find the key to the very essence of mankind, our spirits. They knew it was...
Posted by Joshua Something on Wed, 16 Aug 2006 02:00:00 PST

Quantum Gravitus: Time and Time Again. Part 9

Time and Time Again. Part 9. NiGHTS and Castor. The line of supply trucks crept along the mountainside on a dirt road that was wide enough for the trucks to traverse but offered no more than a foot of...
Posted by Joshua Something on Wed, 16 Aug 2006 01:55:00 PST

Quantum Gravitus: Time and Time Again. Part 8

Time and Time Again Part 8. //Incoming transmission.#Zion Control-Hub#144// //Enigma proxy protocol 75 initiated// //Decodex compression authorization: Verified// Message reads: Security: EUC-4D Acces...
Posted by Joshua Something on Wed, 16 Aug 2006 01:54:00 PST

Quantum Gravitus: Time and Time Again. Part 7

Time and Time Again Part 7. As Juaquin sits with legs crossed, he meditates on the events he has seen in the dreams he has had for the past three nights. His forehead and neck are covered in a layer o...
Posted by Joshua Something on Wed, 16 Aug 2006 01:54:00 PST

Quantum Gravitus: Time and Time Again. Part 5

Time and Time Again. Part 5. Ice folds her hands behind her back as she stands at parade rest. She keeps her eyes forward as she listens to the disembodied voice that is pacing back and forth behind h...
Posted by Joshua Something on Wed, 16 Aug 2006 01:52:00 PST

Quantum Gravitus: Time and Time Again. Part 6

Time and Time Again Part 6. ~~~~~~~~ Eleven months ago ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Human Energy Leeching and Liqueficaction (H.E.L.L.) //stem 665: unstable// //nourishment infusion storage cell 1422: rupt...
Posted by Joshua Something on Wed, 16 Aug 2006 01:53:00 PST

Quantum Gravitus: Time and Time Again. Part 4

Time and Time Again Part 4. Castor pulls himself onto the storage platform to establish an elevated angle of attack. Once he maintains a safe vantage point he signals to me to initiate the low road at...
Posted by Joshua Something on Wed, 16 Aug 2006 01:51:00 PST

Quantum Gravitus: Time and Time Again. Part 3

Time and Time Again Part 3. Ivorys hands were shaking so badly that she could bare hold her rifle straight. She had her target in her sights but could not get a clear shot. Breathe Ivory. Relax your s...
Posted by Joshua Something on Wed, 16 Aug 2006 01:50:00 PST

Quantum Gravitus: Time and Time Again. Part 2

Part 2. The blood on Nahpros hand has dried just enough to make his grip sticky. As he grasps the pliers with his right hand, he pushes his thumb and index finger of his left hand into the hole in Tac...
Posted by Joshua Something on Wed, 16 Aug 2006 01:49:00 PST