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Online Now IconsHi my name is Linda Martinez, and i thank you for visiting my page. I created this page because i want everybody to know about my story. I was born and raised in New York (Manhattan) both my parents were from Puerto Rico (The Caribbean). When i was like 10 years old my family decided to move to Puerto Rico, i didn't want to leave New York because i didn't know Spanish but we finally moved. I hated being in PR because i didn't know Spanish and at the School i was in the kids made fun of me because i didn't knew the language. It took me like 3 years to learn how to read Spanish and write it and also speak it. My family both my mom and dad loved me very very much, but they were very disfunctional, both my mom and dad were abused as kids, and even tho they loved my brother and me very much they also abused us. Food was always my problem or a tool that i used to punish myself, as a kid i hated to eat when i felt fear or i was depressed. My father before he knew Christ was a womenizer, i always saw my mom suffering because of his actions, my dad and mom loved each other very much but in a disfunctional way, they were always fighting with each other, screaming, saying bad words, cursing each other in front of my brother and me. My brother ran into drugs, music and alcohol, i was being sexually abused by my brothers best friend (without my brother knowing). I never told anybody, i was like 5 or 6 years old, so i didn't know what was going on. I always pretended that this never happened to me. I ran into reading, and music, that was my escape. At the same time a teacher in school (In New York) always beated me because i was latina, she physiclly beat me and punished me by locking me in the janitorial closet. I tried telling my dad about her beatings but he never believed me, finally one day he dropped me at school and he forgot to give me money for lunch he ran back to the classroom and he caught her beating me, then he believed me but it was too late. Between the physical, sexual abuse i was messed up badly. I had to go to a special school for kids with emotional problems, i hardly talked for 2 years. I liked it there because i could sing, read and dance, so i felt better. My mom and dad always grew up listening that they were good for nothing, stupid, etc and they called us those names too and i believed it. I always thought i was good for nothing. By the time i was 14 years old, i knew i needed something, i needed love, so i started going to a non denominational church in Puerto Rico and at that early age i accepted The Lord Jesus Christ into my heart. I felt i was loved, i felt that they cared for me. Finally i was doing good. But after a few years of going to church (teenage years) i left God and didn't look back. I started college, i started dating, meeting guys that hurt me, and weren't worth nothing. Meeting people who didn't have God and i was far from God more and more each day. At age 21 in college i started suffering from panic attacks and severe depression, i didn't know what these symptoms were, and i started with the food problem again, i stopped eating, i got so thin that almost nobody recognized me when they saw me. The panic attacks got worse, the depression got very bad, i could't sleep or eat, i was in really bad shape. Then i knew...i need Jesus. I started to look for christian prayer groups in college and i found one, i met them and they prayed over me and i started to pray with them on a daily basis. I gave my life to Christ, God is so good, He forgave me, He washed my sins with the blood of Jesus, He gave me another chance to start a new life and sing for Him. He called me to sing for Him when i was a child, but i didn't take it seriouslly. But again The Lord Jesus told me " Your going to sing for me, and millions of young people will be saved by listening to the songs i'm going to give to you". My depression was still there but now i had Jesus Christ my Lord God and Savior. I started studying voice (Vocal training) (Popular Singing) i won the Festival de la voz y la cancion Lira de Puerto Rico in 1992. ( A Christian Festival it's like an american idol but Christian. ) I recorded 4 christian CD'S, also graduated with a BA in Communications. But the depression and panic attacks got worse, i had to start this new drug for depression and panic attack disorders, and i did, i gain so much weight and appetite, now my drug was food. I was happy i ate, i was sad i ate, i ate and ate and ate just to feel full and fall asleep, i needed that control. I almost got to 300 hundred pounds. (278) and i'm only 5'2. I developed diabetes, high blood pressure, high cholesterol etc. From a size 4, 5 i went to size 26. I was killing myself. In 2003 i moved to Northern California, and i knew i had to do something to change my life, but i waited. A year later i met my husband who i love so much, and i decided to do something, i wanted to live longer and a healthy life. I decided to have Gastric Bypass Surgery, i lost some weight before the surgery and had to wait like two years for the medical plan i had to approve. They did approved it. For months before surgery i trainned, walked, made exersize, ate healthy etc. I lost like 35 pounds before surgery, finally the day of the surgery arrived Febuary 24th 2007, it was tough but with prayer and a healthy lifestyle and lots of exersize and the surgery i lost over 100 pounds. I also started recovery (Celebrate Recovery) to heal my internal and emotional wounds, my hurting memories, my child abuse, my sexual abuse, my bitterness, my hurting and screaming soul. That's the root of the problems i had, today i can say that im healhy, no diabetes, no high blood pressure. I'm still in recovery and still healing on a daily basis, but i'm on the right track thank you Jesus. My dad and mom and brother came to Christ through my prayers, they Love Jesus now, so awesome. My dad and mom made peace and forgave each other, and The Lord restored their love. My dad passed away 1 year ago, he is know with Jesus and he is happy with our Lord. I can say that my life is stable and happy now, still baby steps and in recovery on a daily basis. But i love Jesus!!!! Sooooooo much !!! Yes im a Jesus FREAK!!!! i just love Him. I hope God spoke to you through my story and if He did please let me know ok. God bless you, Linda
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