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Anti-Natal Clinic

What?!

About Me

The one thing everyone knows about me is how much I absolutely LOVE Denny's. I mean, it's probably the best place on earth. Whenever someone mentions Denny's or even coffee I get so excited, and I tend to express that excitement through fits of rage and cursing. But don't be deterred; I definately love Denny's. I currently have Katrina in charge of my life and all life decisions. I must say, it's the wisest move I ever made. That girl is a genius and a half. Let's see...what else do I know about myself? Well, I am super fantastic and my friends intend to keep me that way. I think that sums up all the major issues. Oh, and I'm really really old. Like twenty or something.

Myspace Layouts at Pimp-My-Profile.com / Animaniacs

My Interests

Denny's.
Coffee.
Iceskating.
Linda.
Stabbing the inside of me car.
Building the perfect mansion-house in the Sims.
Poor decisions.
My bat named Justin.
Being 20/old.
Eating things that no one else will.
Parker showers.
Flat tires.
Wedding cake.
Calling everyone and their mothers "kiddo."
Parker Day.
Washing dishes.
Chopping wood.
Listening to Eli ramble.

I'd like to meet:

I want to meet Chris Hanson from Dateline NBC, and I'm pretty sure I know a guaranteed way to cross paths with him...

Music:

I like one song and one song only. Alright boys and girls, who's ready for the PARKER SONG?! I know I sure am...
Ooooh, there was a Parker had a dash
E-I-E-I-O
And on that dash, he had a cock
E-I-E-I-O
With a cock cock here and a cock cock there
Here a cock, there a cock
Everywhere a cock cock
Oooh, there was a Parker had a dash
E-I-E-I-O
And on that dash, he had a dog
E-I-E-I-O
With a bobble bobble here, and a bobble bobble there
Here a bobbly, there a bobble
Everywhere a bobble bobble
Oooh, there was a Parker had a dash
E-I-E-I-O
And on that dash, he had a knight
E-I-E-I-O
With an AHahaHHahA AHahaHHahA here and an AHahaHHahA there
Here an AHahaHHahA, there an AHahaHHahA
Everywhere an AHahaHHahA AHahaHHahA
Oooh, there was a Parker had a dash
E-I-E-I-O
And on that dash, he had an elephant
E-I-E-I-O
With a *horrible elephant sound* here and a *horrible elephant sound* there
Here a *horrible elephant sound*, there a *horrible elephant sound*
Everywhere a *horrible elephant sound*
Oooh, there was a Parker had a dash
E-I-E-I-O
And on that dash he had a...need I continue? I mean really, don't we all know the words to this classic little ditty?

Movies:

My Neighbor Totoro
Aladdin
Mary Kate & Ashley's Sleepover Party
The Number 23
Garage Days
American Beauty
Fight Club
Blow
Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas
Godfather (1&2, NOT 3)
Apocalypse Now
Full Metal Jacket
Matrix (1&2 NOT 3)
American History X
Oceans Eleven
Equilibrium
2001: A Space Odyssey
A Clockwork Orange
One Flew Over the Cuckoos Nest
Goodfellas
Donnie Darko
The Thin Red Line
Saving Private Ryan
Sin City
The Negotiator
Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon
Shaun of the Dead
Red Dragon
The Score
Death To Smoochy
GRINDHOUSE

Television:

Honestly, I'll watch anything with a catchy enough title.

Books:

Fight Club, Choke, Lullaby, Survivor (Are you catching a Chuck Palanuik trend here?), Without Remorse, The Bear and the Dragon, Rainbow Six, The Hunt for Red October (Are you catching a Tom Clancy trend here?), Prey, Timeline, Airframe, Jurassic Park (Are you catching a Michael Crichton trend here?), A Farewell to Arms, The Old Man and the Sea, For Whom the Bell Tolls, The Sun Also Rises (Are you catching a Ernest Hemingway trend here?)Red Badge of Courage, Band of Brothers, Panzer Commander (Look, no motherfucking trend! Woo!), The Divine Comedy (All three of 'em.), Zen and the Art of Motorcycle Maintenance, On The Road (I swear that I'm not a Hippie.), Sophie's World (We exist on the back of a white rabbit, on a single hair. Creepy.), Leaves of Grass (and the bridge is fun to go over too.), 1984, War of the Worlds, 2000 Leagues Under the Sea (It's a fucking submarine. Score.), Towing Jehovah (God dies. His body falls to earth. They tow His body to a polar ice cap, but not before EATING Him. THEY EAT GOD. and apparently, He tastes just like a Big Mac.), and quite a bunch more........who am I kidding? I totally can't even read. *cries*

Heroes:

Dear God. Why would they put this here? I'm just going to fill it up. Here goes: Samuel L. Jackson (He puts his foot in the ass of Badass. "ENGLISH, MOTHERFUCKER, DO YOU SPEAK IT?!"), Robert Deniro (He's old, he's saggy, he would eat you for a tea-time snack. "You talking to me? YOU TALKING TO ME?!"), Al Pacino (He does cold, calm, calculating, raging psycho very well. "I don't want to kill everyone…Just my enemies."), Dennis Leary (He's a consummate alcoholic, who happens to love coffee. Hmm. "Did you ever notice they never take any fat hostages? You never see a guy coming out of Lebanon going: I was held hostage for seven months and I lost 175 pounds, I feel good and I look good and I learned self-discipline. That's the important thing."), Tyler Durden (NOT BRAD PITT. I mean, outside of that, he's a tiny little sissy man. But, in Fight Club, he's my father. "I want you to hit me as hard as you can."), Edward Norton (Scrawny, but as hyper as a Chiwawa locked in a microwave. "I wanted to destroy something beautiful."), and there's got to be tons more. They'll come to me. and Katrina.