Heroes:
True facts about Shady Bastards
1. Shady Bastards told Paris Hilton a video would help her career.
2. In 1492 Christopher Columbus sailed to the Americas searching for the Shady Bastards.
3. When a Shady Bastard was born, the nurse said, "Holy shit, that's a Shady Bastard," and proceeded to have sex with him. That was the third time he'd had sex.
4. In 1935 Jagermeister was invented and coincidentally it was the first year that Shady Bastards went to Germany.
5. Shady Bastards love to club baby seals, and by club I mean take advantage of, and by baby seals I mean drunk girls.
6. A Shady Bastard loses his virginity before his dad does.
7. Shady Bastards have sex with men, not because they're gay, but because they ran out of women.
8. While America was trading beads to the Indians for Manhattan, Shady Bastards were using beads to see native tities.
9. The Devil went down to Georia because the Shady Bastards took over Hell a week before.
10. Shady Bastards have a naked picture of your mom.