Killer profile picture

Killer

My fake plant died because I forgot to pretend water it

About Me

The details of my life are quite inconsequential.... Very well, where do I begin? My father was a relentlessly self-improving boulangerie owner from Belgium with low-grade narcolepsy and a penchant for buggery. My mother was a 15-year-old French prostitute named Chloe with webbed feet. My father would womanize; he would drink. He would make outrageous claims like he invented the question mark. Sometimes, he would accuse chestnuts of being lazy. The sort of general malaise that only the genius possess and the insane lament... My childhood was typical: summers in Rangoon... luge lessons... In the spring, we'd make meat helmets... When I was insolent I was placed in a burlap bag and beaten with wet reeds — pretty standard, really. At the age of 12, I received my first scribe. At the age of 14, a Zoroastrian named Vilma ritualistically shaved my testicles — there really is nothing like a shorn scrotum — it's quite breathtaking... I suggest you try it.
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My Interests


You Are An INTP
The Thinker

You are analytical and logical - and on a quest to learn everything you can.
Smart and complex, you always love a new intellectual challenge.
Your biggest pet peeve is people who slow you down with trivial chit chat.
A quiet maverick, you tend to ignore rules and authority whenever you feel like it.

In love, you are an easy person to fall for. But not an easy person to stay in love with.
Although you are quite flexible, you often come off as aloof or argumentative.

At work, you are both a logical and creative thinker. You are great at solving problems.
You would make an excellent mathematician, programmer, or professor.

How you see yourself: Creative, fair, and tough-minded

When other people don't get you, they see you as: arrogant, cold, and robotic What's Your Personality Type?
Which UFC Fighter are you ?


Chuck Liddell
You are Chuck Liddell.. You are mean and nasty your a true fighter who brings it to the table and you take the fight to them. You are a champion.
Take The Quiz Now! Quizzes by myYearbook.com

I'd like to meet:


TELL ME ABOUT YOURSELF - The Survey
Name: Melody Mary Nabizadeh
Birthday: November 3, 1977
Birthplace: Tehran, Iran
Current Location: ATX
Eye Color: Green
Hair Color: Red
Height: Yes please
Right Handed or Left Handed: righty tighty, left loosey
Your Heritage: Persian/Russian/Czech....yes, that's possible
The Shoes You Wore Today: I have yet to put on shoes today and it's my crowning achievement
Your Weakness: Your sweetness
Your Fears: What are those?
Your Perfect Pizza: Brooklyn Style with some spice and lots of pepperoni
Goal You Would Like To Achieve This Year: create an auxillary and detachable liver for myself
Your Most Overused Phrase On an instant messenger: You're an idiot, you know that?
Thoughts First Waking Up: Congratulations, you made it despite all odds
Your Best Physical Feature: my gray matter
Your Bedtime: i wish i knew, when you find out let me know
Your Most Missed Memory: what? if i'm missing it then how can i tell you??
Pepsi or Coke: Coke, that's one thing that's for damn sure in this world
MacDonalds or Burger King: Neither, i don't eat fast food and yes, that makes me better than you
Single or Group Dates: WTF? Who are these people going on group dates???
Lipton Ice Tea or Nestea: Are you serious?
Chocolate or Vanilla: Don't limit my realm of possibilities with a forced choice comparison
Cappuccino or Coffee: Cappuccino would beat coffee in a bare-knuckle fight me thinks
Do you Smoke: only when lit on fire but its more of a smolder
Do you Swear: Like a sailor on shore leave
Do you Sing: Yes, Melody is not just a clever name i gave myself
Do you Shower Daily: Hello? Who asks this type of question?? Showering daily is NOT elective
Have you Been in Love: Jury is still out on that one
Do you want to go to College: Clearly this survey was made for 7yr olds
Do you want to get Married: Jury is still out on that one too..hmm, i'm detecting a pattern and it's not female pattern baldness
Do you belive in yourself: Why yes, I'm the nexus of the universe so I better believe in myself!
Do you get Motion Sickness: only if you pick me up and shake me
Do you think you are Attractive: yes, i'm very attracted to myself, it's a problem
&..39;Are you a Health Freak:' yes, I am also Jack's raging bile duct
Do you get along with your Parents: strangely enough, I do
Do you like Thunderstorms: Yes, especially when i summon them to do my bidding
Do you play an Instrument: yes, i'm a rock star..does anyone play the skin flute anymore?
In the past month have you Drank Alcohol: i've also sipped, imbibed, chugged and lapped
In the past month have you Smoked: no
In the past month have you been on Drugs: no
In the past month have you gone on a Date: yeeesh
In the past month have you gone to a Mall: what does this tell you about a person?
In the past month have you eaten a box of Oreos: no because i'm not 12
In the past month have you eaten Sushi: yes, sushi is god's way of telling me he loves me
In the past month have you been on Stage: If life is a stage, then yes...
In the past month have you been Dumped: hells no
In the past month have you gone Skinny Dipping: does bathing count?
In the past month have you Stolen Anything: looks and hearts
Ever been Drunk: about 8 hours ago
Ever been called a Tease: sure, i've been called lots of things
Ever been Beaten up: no, cuz i have skillz
Ever Shoplifted: what's this obsession with stealing on this thing?
How do you want to Die: happy
What do you want to be when you Grow Up: again, this was made for a 7 year old and I'm a toys r us kid anyway...
What country would you most like to Visit: Greece
In a Boy/Girl..
Favourite Eye Color: surprise me
Favourite Hair Color: not red
Short or Long Hair: short! NO mullets either, I don't care if it's business in the front
Height: 5' 10 or taller
Weight: not fat
Best Clothing Style: plaids and paisleys
Number of Drugs I have taken: Why is this relevant in the boy/girl section???
Number of CDs I own: how many CDs i own in a boy? what does that mean?
Number of Piercings: I have one, but isn't this supposed to be about a boy/girl that is NOT me??
Number of Tattoos: none, but see above...am i supposed to list the number of tats my prospective mate should ideally have?
Number of things in my Past I Regret: zero, actually one now, this stupid survey

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Music:

According to the "Which Big Lebowski character are you?" quiz:

Why don't you check it out? Or we cut off your Johnson! What type of Alcohol are you?(with pics)
Absinthe....Your a crazy partier and always in your own world, you set fire to life, making everything surreal and amazing.
Take this quiz !

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Movies:

Raoul Duke: Look, there's two women fucking a polar bear! Dr. Gonzo: Don't tell me these things. Not now man. * *Raoul Duke: There is nothing in the world more helpless and irresponsible and depraved than a man in the depths of an ether binge * * *Ah, devil ether. It makes you behave like the village drunkard in some early Irish novel. Total loss of all basic motor function. Blurred vision, no balance, numb tongue. The mind recoils in horror, unable to communicate with the spinal column. Which is interesting because you can actually watch yourself behaving in this terrible way, but you can't control it.

My Blog

Better

One of my favorite wordsmiths of all time is Irishman, Oscar Wilde. I think we would have been married or at least made excellent drinking buddies:) For those of you who have never read his many fiend...
Posted by Killer on Tue, 26 Jun 2007 06:27:00 PST

For Dara

To Dara, whose poignant yet tasteful contemplation of community social bar behavior inspired today's rant. For those who missed it, here is a snipit of Dara's communal commentary: "If I hear the lame...
Posted by Killer on Tue, 19 Jun 2007 06:30:00 PST

NO VISORS

1. NO VISORS. Nope, never. Not even if its daylight. Not even on a house-boat. Not even if it's free. Not even if its from some band you just saw, because honestly, if the band you just saw decided to...
Posted by Killer on Tue, 24 Apr 2007 11:14:00 PST