here comes the hurt profile picture

here comes the hurt

myspace is for douchebags

About Me

Myspace Layouts at Pimp-My-Profile.com / Face

My Interests

Wife-swapping with my dad.

I'd like to meet:

Anna Nicole Smith

Music:

That one song.

Movies:

The "how to" orientation DVD that came with my VCR.

Television:

The TBS documentary about the population problem inside of Lindsay Lohan's cunt.

Books:

The holy fucking Bible.

Heroes:

Black people who jay-walk.

My Blog

Here Comes The Hurt, Anderson Cooper

I got slapped with fifteen hours of community service for jaywalking in front of a funeral procession honoring a dead cop. Apparently, he'd been shot in the head while trying to break up a girl figh...
Posted by here comes the hurt on Sat, 31 May 2008 05:38:00 PST

Here Comes The Hurt, Seattle Mariners

I took up a gig giving asshole lessons to French people about a year ago. The ad for the job was hidden on the back page of The Stranger, nestled in between the whore in the American Apparel ad and a...
Posted by here comes the hurt on Thu, 29 May 2008 06:19:00 PST

Dear Internet Porn

Q: Why did that cyclone kill all of those ugly yellow fucks on that disgusting little island over there in East Shitholeland? --Hawaiian Punch Drunk LoveA: Shit. I thought that was just a new epis...
Posted by here comes the hurt on Fri, 23 May 2008 10:58:00 PST

dear internet porn: rated G, you fucking cunt

Q: Mama?--TimmyA: I'm glad that Hunter S. Thompson is dead 'cause that asshole stole my idea to do drugs in the desert and write a book about it. For that matter, I'm also glad that Abraham Lincoln...
Posted by here comes the hurt on Sat, 03 May 2008 10:28:00 PST

DEAR INTERNET PORN: RATED PG

Q: What is Daddy doing to Mommy?--Careless Horse WhispererA: He is just doing warm-up exercises before he gets into the heavy lifting. Q: Where do baby's come from?--Hall and OatesA: Happy Hour.Q:...
Posted by here comes the hurt on Thu, 24 Apr 2008 08:56:00 PST

dear internet porn: pg-13

Q: God, I'm so fucking horny and I can't figure how to get out of my clothes. Are there any women out there who are small enough to fit into my pants and ride my cock for a few sweaty hours of fun?-...
Posted by here comes the hurt on Mon, 21 Apr 2008 08:43:00 PST

mini dear interent porn

Q: Sooooo. Haven't seen any new blogs inna while. What's the matter? Are you sad, pussyboy? Waaa! Waaa! Why don't you cry yourself to sleep on my huge dick?--Well Who Gives a Fuck What You Thin...
Posted by here comes the hurt on Tue, 15 Apr 2008 06:54:00 PST

dear internet porn: rated r for retarded

Q: I pay good money to buy clothes that are already pre-scruffed and pre-ruffled but why can’t I find any underwear that has been pre-jellied? And by jellied, I mean slathered in ball juice. ...
Posted by here comes the hurt on Mon, 24 Mar 2008 09:44:00 PST

dear internet porn: rated nc-17

Q: Do you kiss your mother with that mouth?--Fire Engine RedrumA: No, I eat her pussy, faggot. Wanna punch?Q: I came home early from work the other day and found my son studying for a chemistry ex...
Posted by here comes the hurt on Thu, 06 Mar 2008 09:44:00 PST