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Cole Hamels

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About Me

My name is Colbert M. Hamels.I am the future of the Philadelphia Phillies.I graduated in 2002 from Rancho Bernardo High School (CA).I was selected by Philadelphia Phillies in 1st round (17th overall) of 2002 amateur entry draft.I got married New Year's Eve to Survivor contestant-turned-Drexel student Heidi Strobel.
Minor League Career
I pitched in the Phillies minor league system starting in 2003, beginning at single A Lakewood. Later that season, I was promoted to advanced A Clearwater. However, I was plagued by injuries the next two seasons, pitching only sparingly. I missed most of the 2004 season with an elbow injury. In 2005, I broke my pitching hand in a bar fight before the season began, and once I recovered, then hurt my back, and was shut down for the rest of the season. In 2006, I started again at Clearwater, and then I was sent to AAA Scranton/Wilkes-Barre, where in just three games, I struck out 36 batters while giving up only one walk and one run. My minor league totals were 14-4, with 273 strikeouts in 35 games pitched.
Major League Career
I was called up to the Phillies in May 2006. In my MLB debut on May 12, 2006 in which I pitched five scoreless innings while allowing only one hit striking out seven, but I did walk five batters. I earned a no decision against the Cincinnati Reds after fellow pitcher Ryan Madson, who I had replaced and sent to the bullpen, gave up a 2 run lead in relief of me. In my second career start, I was generally dominant until the seventh inning, in which I was pulled after I allowed several baserunners. I did not get the loss however, as it was Madson's sole earned run of the game was the go-ahead run. A shoulder injury scratched me from the lineup of what would have originally been my third major league start. I was put on the 15 day disabled list and returned on June 6 to defeat the Arizona Diamondbacks 10 - 1, for my first Major League victory. I struck out 12, a career high, but allowed seven runs in five innnings in the 10-8 loss to the Atlanta Braves on July 24, 2006. I matched my career high on August 3, 2006 while allowing only one run over seven innings in the 8-1 victory over the St. Louis Cardinals. On August 14, 2006, I had my best start to date, shutting out the New York Mets over eight innings and striking out nine in the 13-0 victory.

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My Interests

Baseball...and winning the World Series

I'd like to meet:

Id like to meet all my fans....and id like to say thank you all for the friend requests and comments i will try to answer everyone back but with me being in Florida training it will be hard so please be patient..Thank You..



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1.Cole Hamels has already dated Paris Hilton, Nicole Ritchie, Lindsay Lohan, and the Olsen twins…twice.
2.Cole Hamels shot 50 Cent 9 times and 50 Cent died. Cole Hamels then brought 50 Cent back to life so 50 Cent would name his 3rd album "Cole Hamels".
3.Cole Hamels outpitched Steve Carlton before he was even born.
4.When Cole Hamels snaps his fingers, The Fonz comes running.
5.If Cole Hamels wanted to he could steal your girl and, because he's so great, you'd want to watch him take care of business with her. He wouldn't do such things though, because he's Cole Hamels.
6.Jack Bauer calls Cole Hamels for advice.
7.Cole Hamels is the only person Barbara Bush fears.
8.Fear itself is afraid of Cole Hamels.
9.For Halloween, Chuck Norris went as Cole Hamels.
10.When kids go to bed they wear Superman pajamas; when Superman goes to bed he wears a Cole Hamels jersey.
11.Cole Hamels punches people so hard he breaks his own hand.
12.Cole Hamels once pegged a batter so hard that the batter's twin brother died. He then ate their corpses, pooped them out and struck that out too.
13.God says "Cole Hamels darn it!".
14.My wife yells out Cole Hamels' name in bed (and half the time he isn't there).
15.Cole doesn't need to be in the same room to sleep with your wife.
16.Cole Hamels is so great that he makes suicide commit life.
17.On his off days, Cole Hamels kicks Chuck Norris' ass and then sleeps with Chuck's woman. When she regains her strength (on Coles's scheduled start days), she kicks Chuck's ass.
18.Cole Hamels walked into Chickie's and Pete's wearing a Terrell Owens Cowboys jersey and people bought him drinks.
19.Kanye West almost needed to pay Cole Hamels royaties to release that "Jesus Walks" song, but Cole let it go, because he doesn't walk anyone so it couldn't really be about him.
20.Cole Hamels will wear #25- two better than Jordan and one better than Kobe.
21.When Cole was born, he beaned the doctor with a fastball, made out with the nurse, and struck his father out in two pitches!
22.Cole Hamels is the real last son of Krypton.
23.Geico saved a lot of money on car insurance by switching to Cole Hamels.
24.Cole Hamels invented the Internet. When Al Gore tried to take credit, Hamels K'd him with a curve...but not before hitting a homerun with his daughter.
25.Cole Hamels ran w/ Forest Gump across the country, then decided that Gump was stupid and life was not like a box of chocolates, so he proceeded to bean Gump with a fastball, beat him in ping-pong, and have sex w/ Jenny....all at the same time.
26.Cole could have convicted O.J.
27.Cole once threw a fastball (in the dirt) so hard, it dug up Jimmy Hoffa.
28.Mr. Miyagi waxes Cole Hamels car.
29.On take your kids to work day, Cole Hamels decided to bring Cole Jr. to a game against the Giants. Since the Philies were already 161-0, the team decided to let Cole Jr. pitch. He pitched a no-hitter with 3 walks. He hit Barry Bonds 3 times...on purpose
30.Cole Hamels has a plan to retire from baseball and play football. After the first inning of a late Spetember start, he will sign with the Dallas Cowboys as a quarterback and throw a football through Terrell Owens facemask, decapitating him instantly. Then he will have a threesome with TO's mom and Nicollette Sheridan, and proceed to return to the Phillies game by the bottom of the second to strike out the side again.
31. Cole Hamels starts everyday with a protein shake made from Carnation Instant Breakfast, one dozen eggs, pure Colombian cocaine, and rattlesnake venom. He injects it directly into his neck with a syringe.
32. The shadow from Cole Hamels' mustache can accurately predict the length of winter to within 4 seconds. The groundhog has been rendered obsolete.
33. The natural gas in New York City was wrongfully blamed on New Jersey, Cole Hamels happened to belch while flying over the Atlantic ocean. Mind the fact that if Cole Hamels had farted, the city of New York would have disintegrated.
34. Cole Hamels was arrested in the early 80's for throwing stray cats at oncoming buses.
35. Cole Hamels invented black. In fact, he invented the entire spectrum of visible light. Except pink. Tom Cruise invented pink.
36. When Cole Hamels pulls up to a stop sign, it turns green.
37. Cole Hamels was originally casted to play the leading role in Titanic. He backed out when he found out that the movie was NOT a biography on his penis.
38. Cole Hamels does not play the lottery. It doesn't have nearly enough balls.
39. Cole Hamels is the reason why Jared lost all of that weight. This is simply because Jared has been running from Cole for years.
40. Cole Hamels does not eat. Food understands that the only safe haven from Cole hamels' fast ball is inside his own body.
41. Faster than a speeding bullet ... more powerful than a locomotive ... able to leap tall buildings in a single bound... yes, these are some of Cole Hamels' warm-up exercises.
42.According to the Bible, God created the universe in six days. Before that,Cole Hamels created God by snapping his fingers.
43. Cole Hamels can win a game of Trivial Pursuit with one roll of the dice, and without answering a single question... just a nod of the head, and a tip of his hat
44. A man once asked Cole Hamels if his favorite team is the Yankees. Cole Hamels did not respond, he simply stared at him until he exploded.
45. Why did the chicken cross the road? Because Cole hamels ate its entire family, struck out the farmer who bred it, and had sex with the farmers' wife all at the same time.
46. Microsoft has released a new Anti-virus removal tool called Cole Hamels. The tool dares the virus to enter the machine.
47. Cole Hamels has the greatest Poker-Face of all time. He won the 1983 World Series of Poker, despite holding only a Joker, a Get out of Jail Free Monopoloy card, a 2 of clubs, 7 of spades and a green #4 card from the game UNO.
48. Cole Hamels played Russian Roulette with a fully loaded gun and won.
49. If you're driving down the road and you think Cole Hamels just cut you off, you better thank your lucky stars it wasn't the other way around.
50. According to the Geneva Convention, Cole Hamels is not allowed to be used as a first strike weapon.
51. For Cole Hamels, every street is "one way". HIS WAY.
52. Contrary to popular belief the Lottery numbers are not random. They are just the number of people Cole Hamels killed that given day.
53. People have often asked the United States, What is your secret weapon against terrorists? We simply reply...Cole Hamels fast ball.
54. Contrary to popular belief the Lottery numbers are not random. They are just the number of people Cole Hamels struck out that given day.
55. There is no Control button on Cole Hamels' computer. Cole Hamels is always in control.
56. Cole Hamels is not only a noun, but a verb.
57. In the first Jurassic Park movie, the Tyrannosaurus Rex wasn't chasing the jeep. Cole Hamels was chasing the Tyrannosaurus AND the jeep.
58. Everything King Midas touches turnes to gold. Everything Cole Hamels touches turns up dead.
59. Cole Hamels enjoys a good practical joke. His favorite is where he removes your lower intestine and pretends to make a balloon animal out of it. Then he cracks your skull open with a fast ball for not complimenting him on his balloon animal.
60. After taking a steroids test doctors informed Cole Hamels that he had tested positive. He laughed upon receiving this information, and said "of course my urine tested positive, what do you think they make steroids from?"

Movies:

Cole Hamel



Cole working in the pen before his first start of 2006. Single A phillies opening day.