wesley

sleeping. ...a lot of sleeping indeed. drinking....oh yes....lots of that too. working...i mean, i don't LIKE to work..and you don't have to have a job...but you should at least WANT one, right? I'm actually not that much of a loser...i mean, i do sleep, drink, and work a lot....but i also do useful things for all of humanity like rescue snakes from old ladies with sticks and tell people when their belt looks horrid with their shoes. one time i had to tell someone that their entire head looked really awful with the rest of their body....i hate giving people such bad news since i'm such a nice person! ...and i like to fix things. i work on my own car, and i'm an awfully good electrician! air conditioners were my fave to deconstruct and dissect when i was a chap. i don't get terribly turned on by a super efficient furnace anymore, but it sure does save me and my friends lots of cash when i can help. i once was a bit of a computer guy, but after my code-writing-induced nervous breakdown of 1997 (some of you might remember it) i met with my dean to drop my major. i haven't looked back. sure, i would like to have all that cash, but i'd rather be happy and just stick with the PBR, right? i don't eat meat, except for chicken, but only because i figure if everyone in the world would just eat chicken and eggs three times a day for a couple of weeks then those awful little beasts would be exterminated from the earth forever. ick. fish are pretty yummy as well, but i learned last year that i do indeed like them a lot better if they are already dead before i swallow them. i still have my tonsils and adenoids, and you can tell when i talk. i need a lot of room when i dance. i like cheese and triscuits and home improvement shows. i don't like MSG, even though it's pretty fantastic tasting. peoples parents usually love me. i hate duct tape because it leaves a nasty residue. i feel sorry for roaches and their bad reputations, particularly the really big ones because they are especially lighthearted and fun (and pretty tasty as well). i eat a lot of beans and complain about them constantly. once i ate an entire case of pink marshmallow peeps and vomited for hours. i say "FANTASTIC!" at really inappropriate times. i went for a walk in the graveyard yesterday to find names for my future children...i came up with ephraim and salem on my own. my cats name is snatch. my neighbors cats name is kagan (for: kitty ain't got a name). i think "everybody loves raymond" would be a fantastic show if it weren't for raymond. i wear clothes that are entirely too small for me. i drink too much coffee. i wear beanies in the summer. my name is supposed to be spelled 'west-leigh', and it means 'from the west meadow', which is supposed to mean i'm rich or some shit.