My name is Mark, and this is our dodgeball team, the Medics. We love dodgeball with a passion and we are damn good at it. Our team has played well in all past dodgeball tournaments, placing in the top 10 every time. To us, dodgeball is life. And for me personally, dodgeball is the most fun I've ever had in a sport throughout my entire life. Our past tournaments include:
St. Mary's County Dodgeball Tournament, March 2005 - 1st in St. Marys, Maryland
Chick Fil A Charity Dodgeball Tournament, Oct 2005 - 10th out of 140 teams in Richmond, Virginia
Calvert County Dodgeball Tournament, Feb 2006 - 1st in Calvert, Maryland
Virginia Dodgeball Tournament, Feb 2006 - 9th out of 68 teams in Falls Church, Virginia
Calvert County Dodgeball Tournament, March 2006 - 1st in Calvert, Maryland
Calvert County Dodgeball Tournament, April 2006 - 1st in Calvert, Maryland
Black Mountain Dodgeball Tournament, May 2006 - 3rd out of 32 teams in Black Mountain, North Carolina
Capital Club House Dodgeball Tournament, June 2006 - 1st in Waldorf, Maryland
Capital Club House Dodgeball Tournament, July 2006 - 1st in Waldorf, Maryland
Capital Club House Dodgeball Tournament, Aug 2006 - 1st in Waldorf, Maryland
Capital Club House Dodgeball Tournament, Sept 2006 - 1st in Waldorf, Maryland
Chick Fil A Charity Dodgeball Tournament, Oct 2006 - 5th out of 185 teams in Richmond, Virginia
Capital Club House Dodgeball Tournament, Oct 2006 - 1st in Waldorf, Maryland
Capital Club House Dodgeball Tournament, Nov 2006 - 1st in Waldorf, Maryland
Turkey Blaster Dodgeball Tournament, Nov 2006 - 1st in Mt. Airys, Maryland
Capital Club House Dodgeball Tournament, Jan 2007 - 1st in Waldorf, Maryland
Capital Club House Dodgeball Tournament, Feb 2007 - 1st in Waldorf, Maryland
Capital Club House Dodgeball Tournament, March 2007 - 1st in Waldorf, Maryland
Dodging Diabetes Charity Tournament, March 2007 - 10th in Bethesda, MD (Thanks to team Joslin for letting us play with their team, we couldn't have even participated if it weren't for them)
Capital Club House Dodgeball Tournament, April 2007 - 1st in Waldorf, Maryland
Capital Club House Dodgeball Tournament, June 2007 - 1st in Waldorf, Maryland
Capital Club House Dodgeball Tournament, July 2007 - 1st in Waldorf, Maryland
Capital Club House Dodgeball Tournament, August 2007 - 1st in Waldorf, Maryland
Towson University Dodgeball Tournament, August 2007 - 2nd in Towson, Maryland
Capital Club House Dodgeball Tournament, September 2007 - 1st in Waldorf, Maryland
Capital Club House Dodgeball Tournament, October 2007 - 1st in Waldorf, Maryland
Chick Fil A Charity Dodgeball Tournament, October 2007 - 5th out of 179 teams in Richmond, Virginia
Norfolk Naval Base Dodgeball Tournament, November 2007 - 1st in Norfolk, Virginia
"We dont get down with competitive douchebag teams that cheat and kick shit around and complain. Go play smear the queer with your jock friends in the park on a saturday morning."
--Team Dance Party Vietnam
The Team
John Hillan, El Capitan Oh captain my captain! He's twenty, and his parents don't let him play dodgeball but being SO commited to the team, he sneaks around and does what he wants!! Because he is a man, and he can make his own damn decisions, damnit! But anyways, he's the captain for a reason. He is smart and understands what do do during game-time and how to do it. He is also a very well rounded player and a force to be reckoned with! Not to mention he is not a ladies man and loves hitting girls and weighs eighteen pounds. the end!
MARK- R.I.P well, he's not dead, but he may as well be! He's left us for the Airforce and is currently in Texas. He is greatly missed, he made the best videos and was a kick-ass dodgeball player. Well, he IS a kick-ass dodgeball player. He will be back next spring, and when he comes back, earth will stand still because the medics will be unstoppable. His pinch is 'very nice' and he is a sneaky sneaky asian. Oh yes, and his baby kitten is a whore.
Chris Z. AKA Loose Cannon Well he's a loose cannon alright! He's rogue, reckless, and pretty freaking vicious on the court. Chris is in the Navy, currently stationed in VA, but comes home every weekend just to play dodgeball! Oh, and see his girlfriend Danielle, who is also on the team (see below), but we don't like to talk about that. Watch out for this player- he's got a sick pinch and he WILL get you out- unless he gets out first because he IS rogue and reckles. AHEM.
Zane Inzane in the membrane. Haha I'm so funny. His throw is accurate and fast and amazing thanks to his little hip hop to the hippity hop that he does when he throws. He will get you out, but don't cry, you're not the only one. He just bought a new car...it's white...not sure what it is...i always forget....but it smells nice inside. He goes to csm and is a great artist- he draws many designs for the team and his artistic skill is matched only by his dodgeball playing. He's got skillz (with a z, for zane of course)!
Jack- Not much to say about Jack, because dear old Jack doesn't come to play with us anymore. He plays pool though, and i know that because that's what he ditches us for. It's okay, when he does come he's def a great addition to the team....
Rob Rob has a wife and baby. And he is in the Navy like Chris. His dodgeball ability is great and mighty, except when he jumps in the air to dodge EVERY ball...and GETS OUT! STOP THAT ROB! Anywhoo, when his razor throw is on, it's on, and overall he is a great teammate to have. He's a dad, and he will PUT YOU IN TIME OUT! OHHHHHH good one.
Eric Resident pretty boy, you will not see him without his 100$ sunglasses (that Danielle almost broke, shit) because they are the source to all his power. Oh yes, I've told you his secret. Good luck hitting him though, you won't want to throw at him when he's pumpfaking at you a million times. You'll probably want to punch him though, anything to make him throw! When he does throw, he will get you out. So it's a lose-lose situation. Eric has a dirty mind. He's goes to college in North Carolina or some dumb place like that...but he's always there to play when you need him. With his sunglasses on, of course.
Angelo- 100% asian 100% of the time!!! He's one of the newer members to the medic movement (Medics: Causing Pain and Suffering One Dodgeball at a Time)and is constantly improving with every game. Infamous for his "Crabwalk", he will get ya like *WHAM* and you'll be like *What?* and he'll be like *YEAH!*. or something like that. Unfortunatly, he is allergic to nuts. yep, one bit of the delicious morsel us normal people enjoy on various foods, from PP&J to Captain Crunch, WILL KILL HIM. That's all, really, no, he ALSO gets a LITTLE too enthusiastic at times...especially during Super Strikers. Don't let him play at your house- he might break a lamp, or two.
Danielle You can call me Dani, and I'm the one writing these dumb tidbits. I date Chris, but he doesn't like to talk about it, for obvious reason, just look at me! I love dodgeball, and although my idea of dodging is putting my hands out to somehow stop it from hitting me, my throw is getting pretty awesome i must say. So don't underestimate me just because I'm a girl, which according to Rob, I am not.
Kayla Kayla, I love it when people don't take her seriously, because that's when she gets you out! Suckas. Her throw is getting really strong, and she is very dedicated to afore mentioned movement. She is a gamer, I would call her, because every time I have seen her outside of dodgeball she has been beating Mark in a computer game or playing Mario party 8 with us at her REALLY COOL HOUSE! Bitch please, don't think Kayla won't get you out...because that my friend, is when she STRIKES!
Dodgeball in the Newspaper
Falls Church News Press
March 28, 2006
By Mike Hume
"With all the walking wounded, its a good thing theres a team on hand called The Medics. Though, even if they had any background in the field of medicine, its doubtful they would have turned their focus from the tourney. One of the team members' girlfriends sounds like Mel Kiper, Jr. on NFL draft day as she rattles off information on the team. 'Theyre from Lexington Park, a small town in Maryland. Not much to do there so they play dodgeball. They'll play from sunrise to sunset on Sundays. Theyve practiced three times a week since they found out about this tournament. The team captain is John Hillan.'"
Click here to watch the news coverage of the 2006 February Dodgeball Tournament
Click here to read our dodgeball article in the news
Click here to read our other dodgeball article in the news
Saturday, February 25 (Diary of Mike Hume)
Day 2
9:05 a.m. - The club is even more crowded than last night, and a new group of players are among them. The only one I recognize from last night is bear-man. Among the new characters this morning are a gang of camouflaged face painters, kids in skintight red spandex, and a group who looks like they'd be more comfortable on skateboards than in a gym.
9:07 a.m. - The first match of the day get underway.
9:10 a.m. - After watching the early matches, we realize we need to have a plan. After assembling and strategizing, we plan to "play smart."
9:44 a.m. - We take the court for our first ever dodgeball game. We are facing the red spandex kids, The Medics. Nice.
9:47 a.m. - We lose the first game of the best-of-three match.
9:49 a.m. - We lose the second game of the best-of-three-match. Plan "play smart" fails.
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