Satan

TELL ME ABOUT YOURSELF - The Survey
Name: Satan
Birthday: I was never really born.
Birthplace: Heaven
Current Location: Hell...I got kicked out because I was caught jacking off.
Eye Color: Red (duh)
Hair Color: Black...well my horns are black
Height: 8'11 (with horns)
Right Handed or Left Handed: Right, it's where I keep my pitchfork
Your Heritage: I am amongst the rammen. My ancestors were firm believers in beastiality.
The Shoes You Wore Today: Shoues are conformist.
Your Weakness: Prayers.
Your Fears: That I'll stay in this miserable hellhole forever.
Your Perfect Pizza: Anything with human meat and blood, I mean sauce.
Goal You Would Like To Achieve This Year: Getting rid of that Goddam (sorry for using your name in vain) Messiah.
Your Most Overused Phrase On an instant messenger: holy shit
Thoughts First Waking Up: Dammit...my horns got lodged into the bedposts again.
Your Best Physical Feature: Sexy, but annoying, horns
Your Bedtime: 1:00 pm (Demonic Standard Time)
Your Most Missed Memory: Poking fun at Jesus when he starved.
Pepsi or Coke: Pepsi. Drugs are the devil.
MacDonalds or Burger King: I am King...of Hell.
Single or Group Dates: Single...I would have gotten to second base if that damn Adam hadn't eaten the apple.
Lipton Ice Tea or Nestea: Eww...Ice is nasty. Anything cold is terrible.
Chocolate or Vanilla: Vanilla; Black girls don't shower.
Cappuccino or Coffee: The former. Coffee is an anagram for eeffoC
Do you Smoke: Hell no.
Do you Swear: Hell no.
Do you Sing: I was once told that I have the voice of an angel.
Do you Shower Daily: Yes, with molten lava.
Have you Been in Love: Love is more of a non-demon thing.
Do you want to go to College: Yes; Duke University sounds nice.
Do you want to get Married: Maybe, but no nice girls come around these parts.
Do you belive in yourself: Everyone does.
Do you get Motion Sickness: Yes, and I barf up my lunch of Campbell's Cream of the Cock.
Do you think you are Attractive: My abs are sweet as hell.
Are you a Health Freak: Yea, although I get tempted to go to the sweets cabinet.
Do you get along with your Parents: I'm a bastard with no mother.
Do you like Thunderstorms: God's the one who does the whole "bolt from the sky" thing.
Do you play an Instrument: I play oboe. But I sucked at it, so I finally gave up and did the band a favor.
In the past month have you Drank Alcohol: I smuggled some from heaven.
In the past month have you Smoked: Only religious weed.
In the past month have you been on Drugs: I was only high until I got kicked out.
In the past month have you gone on a Date: Yes, with this annoying clarinetist. She kept pleading that I have sex with her. *shudders* disgusting.
In the past month have you gone to a Mall: The mall is a dangerous place. Too many teens to rape.
In the past month have you eaten a box of Oreos: I'm trying to keep these tight abs here...
In the past month have you eaten Sushi: All of my food is flame-grilled.
In the past month have you been on Stage: I starred in a crappy reproduction of Jesus' birth. It is totally overrated.
In the past month have you been Dumped: I was dumped from heaven.
In the past month have you gone Skinny Dipping: I was told that it's a sin to do so.
In the past month have you Stolen Anything: I stole from Disney once.
Ever been Drunk: Yea...and ended up with a ram in my bed...don't ask.
Ever been called a Tease: No, but I've been called a silly goose.
Ever been Beaten up: I'm the biggest baddest bully roung these parts.
Ever Shoplifted: I created shoplifting.
How do you want to Die: It doesn't matter. I just don't want to go...you know *motions with eyes* down there.
What do you want to be when you Grow Up: A preacher.
What country would you most like to Visit: Germany. A friend of mine lived there.
In a Boy/Girl..
Favourite Eye Color: Not interested in dating.
Favourite Hair Color: See above.
Short or Long Hair: See above.
Height: See above.
Weight: See above.
Best Clothing Style: Abercrappy and Aerosostale are hip right now....gay, but hip.
Number of Drugs I have taken: See 2 above.
Number of CDs I own: See above.
Number of Piercings: See above.
Number of Tattoos: See above.
Number of things in my Past I Regret: See above.
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