The Uptown Welcomes: the official in-studio band of WKDU 91.7 on your FM dial. We're like those cats from Standing In The Shadow Of Motown, except we're not from Motown and despite exhaustive searches, we can't even locate Motown on the map. We think it might be in Rhode Island somewhere.
A brief history of the band: Blast Ignite first came to Earth on a lightning bolt. His home planet was something like the Death Star, except that it was made of herbs and spices and peopled by radioactive cats. The planet blew up in the Earth year 1978. Quiz Mahoney grew out of a petri dish somewhere in the desert. His robotic father believed himself to be folk/pop star Donovan and subsequently re-recorded all of Donovan's biggest hits and shopped them around to record labels. Legal action followed and was still unresolved by the time that Quiz was of an age to find girls attractive in a way dissimilar to how he thought his mom (a cut-out picture of Kathy Ireland his robotic father kept by the bedside) was also attractive.
The two met when a power outage in Anchorage, Alaska drove a frustrated housewife named Celia to move to the continental United States. "I've had enough of these igloos and their damned power failures," she's been quoted as saying. (See People magazine, Nov 1987)
Celia moved to the West Coast, decided she didn't like the climate and moved to Middle America. There, she found herself swindled out of her family fortunes by a hornswaggler who went by the name of Qwartermouse Crowtch. Broke and unhappy, she went where all broke and unhappy people ultimately find themselves: the liquor store. Then, drunk, broke, and unhappy she moved on to where all drunk, broke, and unhappy people find themselves: Philadelphia. Here, she swindled college students out of cigarettes and small change while devising a Plan. The Plan, as follows:
To find two drunk, broke, and unhappy fellows and force them to start a band together as a way of creating, what she called, "musical warfare." Under her tutelage, Blast Ignite that son of a lightning bolt, and Quiz Mahoney, son of a robot, would conquer the masses with their fascist music.
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