Whoa, watch out cause the Count is coming fo' you! I'm just a fun loving, cool hipster doofus, who likes interesting people and fly ass women...I lurk in my parents basement and spend most of time when not working or at community college, with my cool uncle Ronny, who teaches me the way of Pimp...I have a wondeful family, even if they're a little disfunctual and borderline retarded...Maybe it's the powerlines we live under or the water we've been driking for the last couple of years because there is deffinitely something wrong with us!My dad was in a serious truck driving accident, and had to wear a metal harness around his neck, and every so often he would grab at his cage and yell "i'm not an animal!" Now all he does is lick his fingers and watch girly soap operas. Other than that he is one cool dude, who has taught me about the dangers of alchalism and drug addiction...My mom is a kind soul...she works hard and doesn't ask for much...I asked her what she wanted this year for her Birthday, and she just smiled and replied, "a shovel, cause son we're in some deep shit!"If it weren't for my sister, I would never have any clean clothes or a niece I never wanter :-)My other sister, Fangs, still hasn't gained back the teeth she lost durring her chocolate filled childhood.Uncle Ron is a stone cold pimp and bumsky' who shares the basement with me....Uncle Ron left his job at the meat packing plant to observe the daily working of our disfunctual family...I also have 3 dogs and 2 cats...Fat Daisy the oldest dog is about to die but has lived a full and obese life...She is survived by Lucy, the German Shepard that replaced my other dog Flopps died in a tragic car accident, and Puggsly, the new pug puppy picked out to replace Fat Daisy. My cats are Kitty and Lil and I have no cute stories about them because I hate cats...
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