Jos profile picture

Jos

I have medieval hair

About Me

Known by many as the fifth element, Jos Goodwin was born into this Britain many decades ago, some say during a total eclipse, others say during a particularly dramatic episode of Dynasty.He spent much of his formative years walking and sometimes running on concrete and grass. There was the occasional stroll on tarmac and even a number of periods spent briefly submerged in water, these were, however, short lived.As an adolescent, legend has it that Jos was asked to round up two of every animal on the earth and put them in a massive boat because the world had flooded but it is widely believed that he gave up this task when he got to the otters because they were very arrogant and "difficult to work with".As an adult, Goodwin spent many years creating what has become known as the "Internet", something which he thought would never really catch on but has become a resounding success. Despite rumours to the contrary, he has never recieved any royalties from Microsoft after his idea was stolen - he didn't copywrite it, he should have posted it to himself by recorded delivery...idiot.However, all is not lost, 2007 will see our hero travel abroad to other, more appreciative societies to teach them his native tongue and introduce them to his latest invention "Music", which is set to take the world by storm!We wish him all the best.Dale Winton - 2007I edited my profile with Thomas' Myspace Editor V4.4

My Interests

Playing guitar/bass, Football, Everton FC, Films, Fighting Bears/Wolves/Tigers, Crosswords, Art, Natural History, Hunting and Gathering, Apple heads, Bagels, Lists, sleeping (always in that order)

I'd like to meet:

The key change in every good power ballad and any funny fuckers!

Music:

When it comes to music I think there's only two types, good and bad. I'm into the good stuff.

Movies:

The Wicker Man, A Room For Romeo Brass, Goodfellas, Dead Man's Shoes, La Haine, Withnail and I, The Beat my Heart Skipped, The Life Aquatic, Anchor Man, Zoolander, Taxi Driver, Vanishing Point, Enter the Dragon, Shogun Assassin, The Warriors, Blues Brothers, Fletch, Where The Buffalo Roam, Kingpin, Batman, American Psycho, Jaws, Daddy does Dennis, Father of the Family, Anal Island, Candyman, Creep, Training Day, Scum, Run Lola Run, Old School, Bottle Rocket, Once Upon a Time In America, The Shawshank Redemption, Point Break, Indiana Jones Trilogy, A Clockwork Orange, The Sting

Television:

Brass Eye, Day Today, Nathan Barley, Spaced, Alan Partridge, Peep Show, Extras, The Office, The Mighty Boosh, THE SOPRANOS!!, The Wire, Curb Your Enthusiasm, Charlie Brooker's Screen Wipe, Reeves and Mortimer, The Simpsons, Family Guy, Hustle

Books:

I can't read but I've pretended to read the following - American Psycho, A Catcher in the Rye, The Rules of Attraction, Glamorama, Away Days, Powder, A Clockwork Orange, War and Peace, Catch 22, Catch 21, Catch 20

Heroes:

Neil Young, Daniel Amokachi, Brett Easton Ellis, Bill Hicks, Chris Morris, Charlie Brooker, Syd Barret, Zinedine Zidane

My Blog

Toby Anstis and the robots of mayhem

Anstis crept through the back alleys of Prague like some kind of mad cat child, he had been here since thursday. It was thursday. But next thursday. He had been there a week. All this time he had been...
Posted by Jos on Fri, 25 May 2007 11:17:00 PST

Bullshit facts

1. "If you pulled all the arteries out of your body they would stretch around the world twice." - That's a fucking long way and, comparitively, the human body is quite small.2. "Dogs can smell fear" -...
Posted by Jos on Sun, 13 May 2007 05:15:00 PST

Classic 'man in the pub' football comments

1. "He's not playing deep enough!"2. "Spread the play reds!"3. "Pass the ball!"4. "Get up yer poof!"5. "Good hands keeper, good hands."6. "Head on it!!"nb. Some of these are accompanied by clapping, w...
Posted by Jos on Fri, 27 Apr 2007 11:58:00 PST

Shit threats

1. "You're gonna get a bunch of fives pal!"2. "You're cruisin' for a bruisin!"3. "Wanna nuckle sandwich mate?"4. "Me and you are gonna have words"5. "You're on thin ice"6. "Hope you like hospital foo...
Posted by Jos on Thu, 19 Apr 2007 01:46:00 PST

The battle of Anstis and Peters

                                    &n...
Posted by Jos on Mon, 19 Mar 2007 05:24:00 PST

Vodkat

Don't know if anyone has seen the advert for a new Vodka brand called Vodkat but it's actually the worst thing ever and I'm including all of history's atrocities and crimes against humanity in that. I...
Posted by Jos on Tue, 13 Mar 2007 03:41:00 PST

TV's Terry Nutkins

Here is a picture of TV's Terry Nutkins with an animal. He loves the animals does Terry.
Posted by Jos on Mon, 05 Mar 2007 04:26:00 PST

Top 5 Ideas For TV Programmes That Could Be Presented By Ex-Footballing Hardman John Fashanu

1. A Fash In The Pan - cookery programme 2. The Rise Of Fashism - politics 3. Fash Dance - competetive dance show, ITV4? 4. John's Fashion-u - a Trinny and Susanah sort of style guide progra...
Posted by Jos on Mon, 05 Mar 2007 04:07:00 PST

Top 5 Things You Don't See Anymore

1. White dog shit 2. Chris Akabussi 3. Ford Sierras 4. Park Wardens 5. Good kids
Posted by Jos on Mon, 05 Mar 2007 01:43:00 PST

Top 5 Kevin Keegan Quotes

1."They compare Steve McManaman to Steve Highway and he's nothing like him, but I can see why - it's because he's a bit different" 2."The good news for Nigeria is that they're two-nil down very early ...
Posted by Jos on Fri, 23 Feb 2007 04:50:00 PST