TESTIMONIALS
"Scene: Friday night, 2 AM(ish), Wrigleyville apartment party, most attendees 20 and younger. Sitting at kitchen table with friend Mary Kay*, sipping whiskey cocktails. Danny barges in and heads straight for the bathroom, mumbling something about having to pee.
Mary Kay* - "Who was that?"
Me - "That's Danny."
(Danny exists bathroom in search of booze)
Mary Kay* - "I dont think there's anything left to mix the whiskey with."
Me - "Thats ok, he'll probably just drink it straight from the bottle."
(Danny enters, chugging straight from Jack D's bottle.)
Mary Kay* - "Is that who youre dating?"
Me - "Um....No, I dont know that guy."
Both players depart in separate vehicles to the same Andersonville destination.
Scene: Me, at said location, realized I lost my phone and decide to wait for Danny so we can go back to look for it. Waiting...crying...4am...waiting...getting angry...430am. I decide to leave. Come back at 5 am, no Danny, no phone.
Turns out Danny had a run in with the cops because of his incessant need to piss off drunken jocks in cabs. To tell you the truth, I wasnt expecting anything less...I just assumed he was in jail."
*name changed due to trauma caused by meeting Danny!.
-Becky
"I could tell you about the first time we hung out, but that's pretty boring, except for the fact that we saved a cat from a half burnt abandoned mafia house. Or I could tell you about the hundreds of times we got drunk together, but I can hardly remember them (and lord knows he can't either) except for maybe the time he unwittingly saved me from drowning in a shower. Or I could tell you about how he got his nose was ripped by some kid pulling it from the nostrels, but that's pretty much self-explanatory. No, I will tell you of 1 simple trip (taken a few times). It was a terrible time to live, Krispy Kremes had hit the market hard, but they were few and far between. So you know what this asshole does? He drives me all the way down to Pulaski and 61st just to get donuts... yes, Danny! is a sweetheart, I'm not sure if he wants anyone to know.
oh, and 2 more words: drinking gloves."
-Brae
"This past summer...the two bands that we worked for had a day off at the same hotel in new mexico. we all went to see that zombie movie and danny made me laugh the whole time. after that, he was my new favorite person. and i had a handtruck, so he "stopped by to say hi" everyday right around the time that he needed to borrow this handtruck. it was ok though because atleast he was stopping by and usually made me laugh."
- Erin
"The first time we met, we were at a party together. You jumped in on a conversation I was having with someone about Batman. I was drawing a blank trying to remember the name of the actor who played Batman in the original tv series. After hearing this you threw your hands in the air yelling "If you don't know that, you are a waste of space!" Then I hated you for awhile.....and here we are now...
Naw, I kid, I have nothing but love for you!!!"
- Britta
"I met Danny! at one of his old band's shows, Danny and the Ketchups. They half covered a Screeching Weasel song and Danny! thought non one there had ever heard of them. He said that anyone who named it would get to kiss one of the singers. The other singer was a preppyosh girl. I named "Cindy'd on Methadone about 10 seconds into the song. Then Danny and I kissed and didn't stop long long into the dawn hours."
- Tim
(Note: I may not be gay, but Tim does makes me ashamed of my heterosexuality)
"Ok I got it!!! You are "Danny! Hetfield" and you are the lead singer of the greatest Metallica cover band of all time with the famous Kevin Kaufmann and we tour the world bringing the people the hard guitar licks that metalica has wussed out from..... OH YEAH!!"
- Krazy Kev
"Danny! had been traveling the USA with Motion City Soundtrack and the Warped Tour telling kids he was both Chris pontious and WIll Ferrell, I told him to stop seducing little children with his promises and from there we got along, and talked about how much we though Marta was hot. From there he was taken away from me and i havnt seen him since"
- Chris
"no lie this is the true story.. i had talked on the phone with danny! before when people would answer marks.. then one faitfull day in wilkes-barre pa i finally got to meet him. i was estatic since joe tichy decided to break edge a few days before, and everyone else did to. i was busy the whole time hanging out with mark and the spitaldorks. and talking to joe about how i was getting ready to leave for ventura then start a new tour/warped tour.
the day went on, the show finally started. then as soon as the guys got on stage joe and i left from behind the merch tables.. lots of drinking happend and danny! was out at the van drinking too.. no one was working or paying attention to the guys playing.. dan leo and others joined in the drinking on the main street that runs thru that town.. next thing we know we're on our way to find dennys. spitalfield, action action, and slow coming day, my friend katiebrown and then mindy and i in my car followed.
well we got very lost. we stopped to turn around.. buttttt... danny gets out of the van walks up to a house that has these HUGE flower pots, picks them up, throws them up over the van/trailor and into the street... there's dirt and flowers everywhere.. and the lights for the house are on right by where he was.. he then casually walks/stumbles up to my car and informs us that we took a wrong turn at would be at dennys soon..
FINALLY after a long time we arrive at dennys. we take up almost a whole section of three of the large booths along with some tables.. from the drinking before we were all a little rowdy.. no ones sure how it started and like to blame it on dan leo.. but a silverwear fight happened... we were throwing it between all of our tables.. knives, forks and spoons all over the place.. then this one knife hits off of a table and lands on another table where this jlo wanna be girl is sitting. she stands up and starts yelling at us then whips the knife back at us almost hitting tj minich in the head, instead it bounces off of the window behind him inches away from his never washed hair..
just so happened that there were police already at dennys.. joe and danny! get police escourted out of dennys and told to leave the property. the walk out, without getting to eat their food, and go back to the van. at the van they decide to drink more.. we take our time eating and come outside.. i dont think that danny! knew what his own name was.. but as we all pulled away to leave danny! and joe decide to "empty" the garbage bags full of empty beer cans and other assorted trash all thru the dennys parking lot... LONG STORY SHORT.. i'm suprised danny! remembers wilkes-barre let alone meeting me."
- Laura Scars
