The Nothing profile picture

The Nothing

i'm not asking you to trust me; i'm just expecting you to

About Me

i really love to go overboard with punny puns. i act super pissed practically all the time because i'm so irritAted from excruciating pain. i generally want to die, and find this impulse quite enjoyable. i am a jobless moppet hasbeen.if you'd like to know more, read my official autobiography, "the day the world invited me into its soft embrace and cried." published by dell books, available at www.killyourself.com. the first 70,000 customers will receive a free autographed bitchfist.normally i hide from everyone and am too afraid to answer the phone, but now i am old, so i guess that i should start trying to hold on to things. and people. also, i think myspace is for people who have no life but want to pretend to be hip while really they're just sitting in their house on their computer hoping they'll get laid by a stranger, but i may be wrong. i guess.

My Interests

pretending like i care (which i don't), being awesome, goat cheese, being full of hate, rubbing my face all over my cat, howling at the moon, blood, smiling all the time, building bridges and friendships that will last a lifetime, killing you softly, not having any idea what i'm talking about, getting lost in small buildings, crashing my car into inanimate objects, loving you from afar, becoming an intergalactic astronaut, supporting our troops, not knowing when to stop, lying until it hurts, loving carissa, bitching and moaning and being melodramatic, scaring people I don't know, being depressed so that other people will think i'm cool.

I'd like to meet:

someone who is willing to raise the rifle when it's time. doogie howser so he can perform surgeries on me.

Music:

the cure, EINSTURZENDE NEUBAUTEN!!, godspeed you black emperor, angels of light, sonic youth, orchestral manoeuvres in the dark, the smiths, comus, feathers, a silver mt. zion, silver mt. zion memorial orchestra and tra-lal-la band, peter greece, tones on tail, brian eno, exuma, pink floyd, neutral milk hotel, mogwai, renaldo and the loaf, the stranglers, christian death, john frusciante, the moon lay hidden beneath a cloud, philip glass, nico, joy division, echo and the bunnymen, the birthday party, nine inch nails, the advantage, secret chiefs 3, quintron, silver jews, the fall, sunset rubdown, tchaikovsky, wu tang, tyrannosaurus rex, black heart procession, beirut, man man, xiu xiu, yat kha, black ox orkestar, dungen, pavement, love, guided by voices, bauhaus, espers, coil, ariel pink, animal collective, the swans, and SPARKS!!!some other stuff. whatever, as long as others think i'm cool now (which they do).

Movies:

the shining, garbage pail kids, metropolis, a clockwork orange, rashomon, the royal tenenbaums, adventures in babysitting, the nightmare before christmas, the neverending story, 2001: a space odyssey, barbarella, this is spinal tap, creepshow, return of the killer tomatoes, all sailor moon movies, the dark crystal, the muppets take manhatten, ivan the terrible I and II, dodesukaden, forbidden planet, buffalo '66, logan's run, come and see, trust, lolita, the birds, rear window, detour, unico, wet hot american summer, the conformist, bicycle thief, rocco and his brothers, mickey christmas carol, big, back to the future, back to the future II, back to the future III, rainbow brite and the star stealer, care bears I AND II.

Television:

the twilight zone, hitchcock presents, jem, kids in the hall, the young ones, care bears, the popples, kissyfur, twin peaks, arrested development, 20/20, nightline, forensic files, cold case files, dateline, intervention, jeopardy, the state, reno 911, sailor moon, the news, he-man, she-ra, are you afraid of the dark? criss angel: mindfreak!

Books:

Crime and Punishment, the Kreutzer Sonata, the Wanting Seed, Demons, The Fall, Grimm's Fairy Tales, the Chronicles of Narnia, the Wizard of Oz, the Plague, Edgar Allan Poe, Chekhov, Tolstoy, Saki, Sartre, Dostoevsky, and something else, but i don't know what. Mostly Dostoevsky. actually, i'm real sick of books. fo real.

Heroes:

Rasputin, Nostradamus, Dostoevsky, God, Blixa Bargeld, Douglas Alexander "Dudley Mums" Bourget, Ryan Larsen, Michael Gira, the opposite of Charles Cacciola, Criss Angel

My Blog

moth..er's......day..?

so, what? is that today? i'm in vt and i went camping and then the tent was infested with...mites? but don't they tunnel under your skin? i certainly hope not. then a june bug flew through the window ...
Posted by The Nothing on Sat, 12 May 2007 07:34:00 PST

tiny foods

i had a dream that food had become tiny, because it's the future, and people were served their meals by this lady in a maid's outfit and some guy. but since the food was tiny, everyone wanted 3 times ...
Posted by The Nothing on Sat, 05 May 2007 12:09:00 PST

why parasites? and why predators?

last night i dreamed that there was a tiny scorpion in my bedroom and it was trying to get mitya, and i had to keep hitting it off of mitya. and then it hid in my bed underneath mitya for hours. then,...
Posted by The Nothing on Thu, 03 May 2007 08:33:00 PST

glory days (2002)

  Here's to a lost cause a journey to and fro Raise your glasses clinked in honour of another wasted basted day Another shattered bitch of hours.      -clw    &...
Posted by The Nothing on Sun, 29 Apr 2007 09:15:00 PST

adrenaline dreaming

i have had so many gruesome murder dreams this week, with knives and snake bites and shards of glass, that i don't even know if sleep works anymore. dreams where the wife is killing the husband of 17 ...
Posted by The Nothing on Thu, 26 Apr 2007 08:52:00 PST

longitude and latitude

It was always dark and dim in there. A room and space for dreary musings. An office of destruction for manufacturing destruction. Sometimes it's fun to fall out of a daydream and into a hole while ...
Posted by The Nothing on Wed, 25 Apr 2007 01:16:00 PST

insincerity = hilarious

  it's funny how much we hate each other and pretend to be friends. on myspace. maybe it is just a grade A exercise in pathological lying and public placating. i, personally, love it, p.s. i writ...
Posted by The Nothing on Sun, 22 Apr 2007 08:44:00 PST

severed limbs

i'm on my usual lose 4 lbs. in 6 day plan, to beat NES (night-eating syndrome, it's legit), and yesterday i had lost 1 lb. so i'm like "alright! i'm doin' it." cause i'm good at it. but then i had a d...
Posted by The Nothing on Sat, 21 Apr 2007 10:09:00 PST

how hide-and-seek fed into my fear of being murdered

so, having just been reminded of playing hide and seek as a child, it has come to my attention that the shaky, cold-sweating terror i experienced while being hunted in the innocent game of hide and se...
Posted by The Nothing on Wed, 18 Apr 2007 08:14:00 PST

terry moranis in va

they sent the right man for the job...xoxo
Posted by The Nothing on Tue, 17 Apr 2007 08:39:00 PST