1. I like kids... but I can't eat a whole one.
2. Let go of my ears... I know what I'm doing!
3. If I wanted to hear the pitter patter of little feet... I would put shoes on my cats!
4. Straight! Gay! They all want blow jobs!
5. There is something scary about a naked man with a hard-on & a sword.
6. Life is too short for self-hatred, celery sticks & bad music!
7. When life gives you lemons... Cram them up the butts of your enemies!
8. Why do people who can't drive always seem to drive white cars?
9. You knew the job was dangerous when you took it.
10. There is not enough blood in the male body to fill up both heads at the same time.