Fairy.[Toni Duhhh] - ProfilesArchive

About Me

Break down, build up again. Breathe. I have found contentment in a totally miserable circumstance..now I'm back and now I see things in a completely different light.
I am SO happy.
I'm on a continuous journey to discover who I am, and more importantly I'm on the track to reinventing and creating myself and my life into something more beautiful everyday. I'm gradually trying to shift the previous experiences and circumstances I've had to overcome into limitless opportunities for me to take full advantage of . I'm trying to nurture a life inspired by everything there is worth living for. Love, adventure, creativity, artistic expression, friendship, intimacy, silliness, madness....it has no boundaries, this keeps me going. I'm an ever growing and evolving labyrinth of ethereal splendor and beauty....or something like that. :]
I want to live life...really live it. I want to fall in love with it. I want to wake up everyday in a different place. I want to wake up everyday to new inviting faces. I want to die knowing I experienced all I could. I want to be able to say "I really lived". I want to find the key to find that freedom within to allow myself to do so.
I'm working really hard on this. I need to get myself there.
I don't really think I was meant for this world.
I'm a bunch of nonsense.
I need something new.
I need to be refreshed.
I enjoy making weird noises for no apparent reason.
You'll always see me laughing.
I wish people would hug me more.

My Interests

love/hate/lust/like/dislike
life
rain
stormy weather
art
vegetarianism etcetc
being magical
being myself
being girly
being intense
being a 5 yrs. old
being the observer
being the action
being selfless
being selfish
being
new places
new experiences
new people
faeries... :]
warm hugs that last more than .5 seconds
star gazing
cloud gazing
going to the park to swing at 3 am
blowing bubbles
using imagination
walking around aimlessly for hours
eyes
androgyny
gender benders
deja-vu
peacefulness
hopeless romantics
people's individuality
believing
fall
being covered in blankets and drinking hot chocolate
mannequins
humanity
spiritual and intellectual growth
dirty hair
writing
reading
book stores
open minds
holding hands
dorky and awkward people
getting all dressed up
kisses on the forehead
the color pink
black and white together
following up esoteric conversations w/ toilet bowl humor
learning from those younger than me
finding abandoned roads/places
changing for my own benefit
peacocks
awkwardness and finding the humor in it
thinking pervertedly and talking dirty
windows down
polka dots
beveragesfood
night walks
porcelain
pale complexions
fashion
eurotrash
cosmetics
painting
OCD showering
bubble baths
sewing
antique shops
girly boutiques
rockstarring out
sketching
breakfast-in-bed
photo-booths
collages
losing yourself in music
mystery
synthetic beauty
meaningful conversations
adventures
traveling/camping
secret places
inside jokes
late night phone calls
laughing uncontrollably
sweet sarcasm
sincerity
learning ways to connect to as many people possible
playing childish pranks on uptight people
poetry
fascination
obsession
receiving letters in the mail
philosophy
psychology of the abnormal variety
mirrors
randomness
japanese street fashion
the look of the 40's, 50's, 60's and 80's
new wave
SYNTHESIZERSSSSSSSS
history
abstractions
beautiful people
balloons
pure silliness
coffee shop atmosphere
dark days
not making sense to anyone
daydreams
delusions
dolls
outlandish costumes
crossdressers
drag queens
dramatic make-up
make-up as art
parties, raves, festivals
sparkly things
chemicals
goth culture
freaky fashions
feeding off good vibes
free-spirits
independent films
insomnia
mood swings
night
passion
pretty boys
self portraits
self-expression
sleazy chic
subconsciousness
the abstract
whispering
the power in words
exploring things that scare me
finding it
following it
knowing it
putting it into all things
layers of social structures
plants
electronic music
breathing
nice sheets
working through pain
laughing at humanity
laughing at myself
pushing buttons
having my buttons pushed
dancing in my room by myself
diving deeper every moment i can
looking into your eyes
walking around the house naked
going out to dinner
swimming in cold mountain streams
patterns
contemplating
self help
inner turmoil
resolving inner turmoil
discovering myself every moment I can
people that speak in riddles
trying to think less and feel more
odd numbers
helping people
falling in love again and again with the experience
timeless love
random sleep deprived road trips
learning
evolving
being pampered
roughing it
trying to find the sweet cotton candy kiss of transcendental bliss.....

I'd like to meet:

Someone who understands my undying love for Depeche Mode.

People with heart and substance.
Art freaks and fashionistas.
Glamour Whores.
Glitter Queens.
Fancy Types.
Fairies:)
Philosophers.
Creators/Inventors.
Movers/Shakers.
Your inner child.

Someone to speak to me on a whole new level. Someone to be with me on a whole new level. Someone with comPASSION burning in their entire being. Someone who would risk everything for a purpose, a belief, a dream, a person.

People who exhibit the LOVE that breaks through the darkness. I want to encounter the ones who strive to learn and grow and continue growing to purely help others evolve.

Someday.
It's written in the stars above.

Music:

Depeche Mode
The Cure

preferred genres but definetely not limited to:
synthesizers mmm mmm mmm
electro
synthpop
new wave
electroclash
disco house
acid house

& sometimes:
psytrance
goa
drum and bass
break beats
ambient
down-tempo

Movies:

What Dreams May Come
Garden State
The Science of Sleep
Braveheart
Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind
Legend
Labyrinth
Party Monster
Neverending Story
The Dreamers
Gummo
LOTR
Amelie
Girl, Interrupted
Pretty in Pink
The Breakfast Club
Edward Scissorhands

Books:

Too many to name.
I read all the time.

My Blog

old paintings I did in high school

excuse the glare from the flash >.<...
Posted by Fairy.[Toni Duhhh] on Sat, 07 Jul 2007 05:41:00 PST

Why I don't have sex.

I'm waiting until I fall in love with someone. I feel that sex should be encouraged by an emotional connection, not a physical attraction. I think you need to be somewhat on the same page as your par...
Posted by Fairy.[Toni Duhhh] on Mon, 23 Oct 2006 12:51:00 PST

>:::sjweius

A few weeks ago I went camping with my family. As they were unpacking their things and settling in my mom and I went down to the ocean for some alone time. I was walking along the water, splishing and...
Posted by Fairy.[Toni Duhhh] on Wed, 23 Aug 2006 05:56:00 PST

when is it coming

Sometimes it seems like your entire life is leading up to one event. Some people are moving towards love and happiness or family and suburbia and minivans with screaming children or maybe a quietly ac...
Posted by Fairy.[Toni Duhhh] on Sat, 15 Jul 2006 01:36:00 PST

thoughts on thoughts

You can characterize the world as you like it...put a light or dark twist on the events of the day, speak of human beings and the conclusion of our narrative as something damned to misery or bound for...
Posted by Fairy.[Toni Duhhh] on Sun, 02 Oct 2005 11:17:00 PST

me in the ordinary people

To have a reason to get up in the morning.. it is necessary to possess a guiding principle. A belief of some kind. Laying in bed, I gazed around the walls of my room, musing about what has happened...
Posted by Fairy.[Toni Duhhh] on Mon, 01 Jan 1900 12:00:00 PST

The cause of my insomnia

Ive heard your ideas of love Its pure happiness and sheer perfection I waited it out and withheld myself And longed for that perfect person deception So Im laying here as these times go by Pa...
Posted by Fairy.[Toni Duhhh] on Mon, 01 Jan 1900 12:00:00 PST