<font color=redChris</font - ProfilesArchive

About Me

SNAFU Situation Normal All Fucked Up ! Well I hate doing profiles of myself for one. I grew up in California and will always love the ocean but I couldn't afford the bay area so now I'm here in Sin City. Sometimes I like to just break stuff or laugh at stupid people (including myself). I subscribe to the philosophy of the Abipone people of Paraguay, who believe that individuals who abstain from alcohol are thought to be "cowardly, degenerate and stupid." Of course I don't but many think that of me anyway so who cares?I don't wanna grow up, I'm a toys 'r us kid. I'm a sarcastic SOB and an optomistic pessimist. I prefer real beer to piss water beer and ps2 to xbox. I'm a music, cartoon, news and political junkie. I spend too much time at work and I stay up too late making up for working too much. Anything else you wanna know about me, just ask. Some of My Favorite Quotes: CONSERVE WATER, SHOWER WITH A FRIEND I'm a moth, you can't see me. A/S/L? Drink more beer, it helps you see straight.
My life is rated NC-17.
What is your life rated?

My Interests

Check out this site! Renee is a kick ass chic and a helluva writer

jacking lawn ornaments and guinness pints, skanky bikini bullriding, slacking, hockey (Go Blues), Best Buy stuff (thanks Vinnie), classic pin up girls, poker, body boarding, staying up all night, playin my sax and bugging my neighbors, music, good friends, women, surfing, ocean, good beer, concerts and live music, politics, camping, books, acting retarded, stuff...

I'd like to meet:

cool people to hang out with, girls that can drink me under the table, people whole like to cause mayhem and run amok, roxy surfer girls, people who have fun doin stupid stuff. cool girls who wanna make out, drinkin or poker buddies, People who will give me testimonials worthy of being included with my new infomercial, Charlie Parker Bettie Page and Chesty Puller (if they were still alive, or in the afterlife), Angelina Jolie, Ronald McDonald, Steve Martin, The Dali Lama, Leon Phellps, the Lady's Man, William Rehnquist, the person who invented sporks, cool people who like stuff and people who want to meet me. ADD ME THE OVERLORD COMMANDS IT!

Music:

Ska, Blues, Bop, W. Coast Swing, Cool Jazz, Trance, Rockabilly and bad Lounge are my favorites but just about everything except stuff that sucks i.e., twangy country, john tesh, yawwnnnnnnee, and kenny g

Movies:

Casablanca, The Maltese Falcon, Tomb Raider, Swingers, Happy Gilmore, The Mambo Kings, Office Space, Full Metal Jacket, Indiana Jones, Tomb Raider, Austin Powers and The Lady's Man

Television:

Cartoons, ADULT SWIM!!!, Law and Order (all 3), CSI, Infomercials.

Books:

Dr. Seuss, Where's Waldo? (I have trouble with big words), The Complete Book of Business Forms and Agreements (ok, not really) (ok, I'm lying, I do like that book) Napalm and Silly Putty (George Carlin), Autobiography of a Yogi, As a Man Thinketh, all sorts of books that make you think.

Heroes:

My Dad, Chesty Puller, Lincoln and Angelina Jolie.

My Blog

SOMETHING THAT DIDN'T MAKE THE NEWS

SOMETHING THAT DIDN'T MAKE THE NEWS Maybe you'd like to hear about something other than idiot Reservists and naked Iraqis. Maybe you'd like to hear about a real American, somebody who honored the...
Posted by Chris on Mon, 01 Jan 1900 12:00:00 PST

St. Paddy's Day Spirit (me with the help of Guinness making an ass out of myself)

Here's to Hell! May the stay there be as fun as the way there! Renee's Favorite Don't Forget Your Green! for the full story and captions: http://members....
Posted by Chris on Mon, 01 Jan 1900 12:00:00 PST

i hate geocities

Who loves ya, baby?
Posted by Chris on Mon, 01 Jan 1900 12:00:00 PST

Bus Ride to Hell - Need your imput.

Ok, so here's the deal. I have a bus buddy for the bus of the damned going to hell, or at least I thought I did. After talking about it, she observed that we would have to die at the same time, or at ...
Posted by Chris on Mon, 01 Jan 1900 12:00:00 PST

So I'm Sick

Great. Yeah so since Wednesday, I've been slamming my liquid vitamins and echinecea tea like a lush at an open bar. Why is it that people most like to show off their work ethic when they are sick. I...
Posted by Chris on Mon, 01 Jan 1900 12:00:00 PST

Shrine to Kimberlee, my HTML Goddess!

I'm not worthy.... I bow down before you... Thank you for all the wonderful thingies on my page ;) ...
Posted by Chris on Mon, 01 Jan 1900 12:00:00 PST

Random Quotes

I've decided to collect at least one random quote a day from people around me (including all my friends on myspace) or something I've read, be it funny, idiotic or deeply profound. No cash or prizes ...
Posted by Chris on Mon, 01 Jan 1900 12:00:00 PST

Help This Smokin Babe Out!

Smokey is one of my best Guinness Buds and a hottie to boot. Shes going to be in a Burlesque Contest and was hoping a few of you would stop by and give her a vote or two.. Her stage name is the crims...
Posted by Chris on Mon, 01 Jan 1900 12:00:00 PST

Season's Greetings

Happy Feliz Merry Kwanza Haanakuh Christmas...Happy Sostice Winter New Year..... You are Santa's Ho! I know what you'll lay out for Santa And it's not milk and cookies. Th...
Posted by Chris on Mon, 01 Jan 1900 12:00:00 PST

Sex, Drugs and Rock & Roll

Sex: Sag Men: Sex is always an intense experience with him - he often comes to quickly, but he'll be the first to try a new position. He is the masterof erotic massage - both oral and manual. His t...
Posted by Chris on Mon, 01 Jan 1900 12:00:00 PST